Veep: Our Favorite Selina Meyer Staffers, Ranked

All hail Team Meyer
By Ray Rahman
September 07, 2017 at 06:58 PM EDT
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Veep's VIPs

Credit: Justin M. Lubin/HBO

This week brought the sad news that Veep will be coming to an end after next season, its seventh. This is obviously an unfortunate development for anyone who appreciates Julia Louis-Dreyfuss' award-winning performance as (former; future?) President Selina Meyer. But she won't be the only one we'll miss — much of the show's brilliance comes from Meyer's large, dysfunctional coterie of staffers. Here's our list of the Veep subordinates we'll remember most fondly (and a few we won't mourn as much).

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11. Dan Egan (Reid Scott) 

Credit: Lacey Terrell/HBO

Ugh, no. On a show populated almost entirely by comically unpleasant characters, Dan Egan always manages to be uncomically unpleasant. He knows it, too. In fact, Egan enjoys leaning into that frat-boy-who-owns-Boiler Room-on-DVD persona — which makes it so much worse.

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10. Marjorie Palmiotti (Clea DuVall) 

Credit: Colleen Hayes/HBO

Selina Meyer wasn’t a fan of Marjorie being her Secret Service-assigned body double. And when Marjorie became her daughter’s lover, Meyer downright disliked her. While we're not quite that sour on her, we will admit she's not always the most fun hang. (Hopefully, Marjorie will appreciate our directness on the matter.)

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9. Kent Davison (Gary Cole) 

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Without Kent, who would know how to pronounce "Nevada" correctly? And who would care? Literally no one.

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8. Amy Brookheimer (Anna Chlumsky)  

Credit: Colleen Hayes/HBO

Yes, we know a lot of people have a soft spot for Chlumsky’s loyal and driven striver. And, yes, she does deserve some credit for always trying to keep the wheels from flying off the bus. She's even competent from time to time. But as a character, Brookheimer’s quippy insults are always a little too on-the-nose, lacking the finesse or creativity of her colleagues.

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7. Ray Whelans (Christopher Meloni)

Credit: HBO

Selina’s (very) personal trainer was fired long ago, but one time, he went to an IMF gala and this happened:

RAY: Y’know, money is just a concept. We believe in it because we’re too scared not to. There’s no intrinsic value to it, like muscles in your arms.

AN ECONOMIST: Okay, well, I think that’s quite a superficial analysis…

RAY: You know what intrinsic means?

ECONOMIST: Yeah.

RAY: Yeah, I try to learn a word a day. I love words, very ardently.

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6. Ben Cafferty (Kevin Dunn)

Credit: Justin M. Lubin/HBO

An old-school operative ripped straight out of the pages of This Town, Ben is the realist who’s always able to bypass everyone else’s crap and give it to his boss straight. He even enjoys something close to an affectionate relationship with Selina, who seems to relish Ben as a peer worthy of going toe-to-toe with. The result? Some of the show’s best, most foul one-liners.

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5. Sue Wilson (Sufe Bradshaw) 

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We’re too scared to not put the Phantom of the White House in the top 5.

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4. Jonah Ryan (Timothy Simons) 

Credit: Lacey TerrellHBO

Oh, Jonah. You weaseled your way into the West Wing, into Congress, and, eventually, into our hearts. Like a pumpkin festival in your home state of New Hampshire, you manage to destroy so much goodness in this world with your epic douchiness. But we see you for who you really are: an insecure, socially inept, and tragically misunderstood lanky freak who digs the D.C. hardcore scene. If HBO were to give you a spin-off, it would get our vote.

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3. Gary Walsh (Tony Hale)

Credit: Lacey Terrell/HBO

Always a fan favorite, Gary possesses an undying affection and loyalty for Selina Meyer that's all but infectious. He's a hard man not to love, despite his boss' best efforts. The protective bagman said it best himself: “I’m your calendar, your Google, your Wilson the volleyball.”

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2. Mike McLintock (Matt Walsh)

Credit: Colleen Hayes/HBO

The Meyer administration’s communications director hilariously bungled pretty much everything he touched. But he was also the most sneakily complete human being on the show. He yearned for so much more than the petty world of politics: vacations, babies, more babies. While everyone else was trying to climb up the ladder, sensitive sad-sack McLintock — who once asked Siri “why does God allow suffering” — just wanted to climb out the window. We hope he gets to enjoy that boat one day.

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1. Richard Splett (Sam Richardson)

Credit: Justin M. Lubin/HBO

Our man Splett didn’t show up until a couple seasons ago, but what an impression he’s made so far. He’s eager, but knows when to fade a little; he's useful, but never a ballhog. While everyone else is busy trying to out-snark each other to death, Splett remains honest and unguarded, ready to admit that he’s wrong (even when he’s not). He’s just thrilled just to be in the room at all. “A joke’s not a joke unless everyone can laugh at it,” Splett once said. He’s wrong, of course, but we wouldn't dare tell him.

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By Ray Rahman