Gone But Not Forgotten: 2016's TV Fauxbituaries
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Lexa, Shot, March 3, The 100 (The CW)
The star-crossed end that led to the beginning of a tragic trend of LGBT deaths; 100 apologies are necessary.
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Nina, Executed, April 6, The Americans (FX)
The Russian spy was executed for switching her allegiance. Thankfully, we never lost ours.
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Laurel, Bull's-Eyed, April 6, Arrow (The CW)
It ain’t over until the Black Canary sings. Or gets stabbed with her ex-boyfriend’s stolen arrow. Or both.
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Abbie Mills, Departed This Mortal Plane, April 8, Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
After nearly 50 eps, someone has to sacrifice their soul in another realm...
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Robin Hood, Killed, May 8, Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Death rarely makes sense, let alone when it’s the result of a fight between Snow White’s Evil Queen and Hades.
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Simon, Sacrificed, May 15, Quantico (ABC)
No one rocked a Henley — or drove a nuclear bomb into a river — quite like this geeky government agent.
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Hodor, Held a Door, May 22, Game of Thrones (HBO)
Politely barring an entryway never killed anyone. Or at least anyone who didn’t live in Westeros.
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Root, Gunned Down, May 31, Person of Interest (CBS)
If only we could tell this heroic hacker that she didn’t need to take a bullet… But the show is canceled, anyway!
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Poussey, Binge-Died, June 17, Orange is the New Black (Netflix)
She died tragically when crushed by a prison guard — another reminder why it’s wrong to grab Poussey.
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Ramsay Bolton, Mauled, June 19, Game of Thrones (HBO)
They left him to the dogs, and he went out like a bitch.
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Margaery Tyrell, Felt the Heat of Wildfire, June 26, Game of Thrones (HBO)
We’re in such denial about the queen’s death, we could just explode!
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Ryan, Jumped, October 4, Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)
The rising programmer’s harrowing suicide was such a gut punch, it made us want to reset the whole system.
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Chad, Went Stag, October 11, Scream Queens (Fox)
God save the Queens after their wedding murder of their douchey king.
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Glenn, Got Smashed, October 23, The Walking Dead (AMC)
If anyone should’ve seen a bat coming, it’s the guy in the baseball cap.
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Wes, Up in Flames, November 17, How To Get Away With Murder (ABC)
The student died as he lived: dressed in plaid, in the shadows of Viola Davis.
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Jack, Died at Some Point After the Late '70s, This Is Us (NBC)
Uncertain: when and why. Certain: how many tissues we’ll need.