"I left on a super high note," [SPOILER] tells EW of that elimination loss.

By Sydney Bucksbaum
March 24, 2021 at 09:30 PM EDT

Warning: This article contains spoilers about Wednesday's episode of The Challenge: Double Agents.

Aneesa Ferreira has once again found herself eliminated from The Challenge right before the final, and once again she left the elimination ring in tears. But this time, on The Challenge: Double Agents, those tears were actually happy tears.

"This season was a little extreme, not as fun as it usually is," Ferreira tells EW. "I've never been so paranoid and emotional and it was just a lot for me. But I left on a super high note. I was sad that I was leaving, but I wasn't as upset as I normally would have been."

Ferreira was defending her gold skull against Tula "Big T" Fazakerley in an elimination that's been seen twice already this season: players are hung upside down by their wrists and ankles and have to move down a long pole. And while it took a bit for both women to get the momentum necessary to move down the pole, Big T emerged victorious. "When I saw that elimination the first time, even then I said, 'Probably not for me!'" Ferreira admits with a laugh.

Below, Ferreira breaks down why she wasn't as upset as she normally is after being eliminated, what she wishes she would have done differently this season, and more.

the challenge (screen grabs)
Credit: MTV

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: So what made this elimination different, where you left feeling satisfied instead of sad?

ANEESA FERREIRA: I won three dailies which is more than I ever have. I performed as well as I could. I left everything out there; there was nothing more I could have done. I think there are certain eliminations that are just built for you, and there are certain eliminations that you dread; sometimes you get in your head a lot. If you don't get the momentum right away, it's not going to happen, and Big T was the better person for that elimination. I couldn't be mad if I did everything I could. And it was the first season I had a purpose, and I felt like that was fulfilled. I felt like my job here is done, so I can go now, so it wasn't the same kind of loss. It was in my hands; I was the one who couldn't pull out the win. There was no one to really be mad at, and I realized why I was voted in. It was just a frustrating game having a lot of people doubt you no matter how much time and energy and years, decades rather, that I've spent doing this and being one of the first women to do certain things that these people are dying to go in elimination and do. There's certain people that kept this going, and it would be nice to have people just be a little bit more respectful, but [laughs] those guys are assholes.

It must be so hard to continuously hear all those guys making disrespectful comments to you, both to your face and behind your back.

Yes, it was frustrating while I was there because I knew people were doubting me and the guys I guess were ballsy enough to say stuff. They thought it was funny. Watching it back, I get to see all of their interviews and things like that, and also being a part of the podcast I could see what happens too and I get to see how some people are then instantly paid back via karma. Almost everything works out the way it's supposed to work out. And it kind of helps me to make sense of all of it. But it sucks, of course, naturally I think anybody would feel bad about it, but people's thoughts of me don't define me. But it is annoying to keep hearing it.

Were you surprised by anything anyone said about you in their interviews?

Nany's. I feel like she could have said more to me. If you're going to call someone a friend, you at least let them in on some things, like the things that I couldn't see. I guess everyone expected me to see how much of an asshole Fessy was at first or how he was talking about me because I addressed him in the house. I asked if he wanted a new partner, we'd make it happen. He said no. I even texted him after, and I was like, hey, don't try and spare my feelings. You could at least give me a heads up that you did say these things in your interview so at least I can prepare myself. Because if you're going to lie to me on the show, I mean, now that we're off of it, it's not really going to affect you if you tell the truth now. It'll probably be beneficial for you to do so! By the end of it, as you could see, I was just like, I wouldn't want to run a final with any of these guys. I was just over it. I'm like, you all probably talk s---. I know it's a part of the game. And I know that a lot of them are too scared to say anything to anyone's face because they're so afraid. But if you guys are really good at the game, you shouldn't be worried about being honest and saying things to people's faces, but whatever.

It is strange seeing people talk so much crap in their interviews and act completely different to you in person — it's almost like they forget this is all going to be aired on TV.

Right, it's not therapy! [Laughs] It feels like it but it's not. If it is therapy, it's one of those things where you sign an agreement that your therapist can tell all and record it. [Laughs] I don't know what people are thinking when they go in.

On a more positive note, it was amazing seeing you talk about how all the women left in the game are women of color because in looking at the history of this franchise, it's incredible that whoever wins will be a woman of color. What was that like for you, especially having been a part of this franchise for so long?

Kam and I talked about it a lot. My first thing when I won the first challenge, I was like, I want there to be a woman of color that wins. And it came full circle. Everything that I've manifested, everything that I wanted — I get emotional talking about it — but I finally had a purpose. That was my purpose, and that's why it was so easy to go. There was such a bigger win. It may not be me in the final but it's someone that may look like me, someone that may look like another girl that's rarely represented on TV. Representation matters, and growing up I didn't have anybody that looked like me. In hindsight, I didn't know how valuable that would have been. Now being that person, being that form of representation for other people, I'm well aware of that when I do this show. You're getting me authentically, 100 percent, but there is part of me that knows that, hey, there are people that are watching it, so don't be an a--hole all the way. You can curb it a little bit. [Laughs]

It just felt so good to be a part of one of the most diverse casts we've ever had. Knowing that from day one, we were about to make a big difference, because if you have to Google the names of the women of color that have won the show, it's a little bit upsetting. And I mean singular winners. But that's what I was most proud of, and I mean, I lost it. Most of my tears came from at least accomplishing that before I left. I got my three wins, I had to work with people, against people, I had to do a lot of things that I never would have done, I played a completely different game than I usually did, normally I would have been a little bit more friendly, but I played a good game and I'm not mad at that.

Do you have any regrets about how you played the game this season?

I would have picked a different partner. I would have picked Darrell from the beginning. I just think Darrell's an awesome guy so it would have been nice to have worked with him.

Related content:

Episode Recaps

The Challenge

  • TV Show
  • 36
  • MTV