"It didn't matter who was on my team, the message I got was always the same: You will not work if you are yourself."
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Colton Haynes says Teen Wolf creator and showrunner Jeff Davis fought for him to be cast in the show after MTV caught wind of a photo shoot he did for a gay men's magazine.

In his new memoir, Miss Memory Lane, Haynes reflects on some of his earlier career struggles as a gay man trying to make it in Hollywood. The actor, who publicly came out in a 2016 interview with EW, recounts growing up openly gay before going back into the closet for his career, sharing that he was told to conceal his sexuality so it wouldn't hinder job opportunities.

"It didn't matter who was on my team, the message I got was always the same: You will not work if you are yourself," he writes. After he booked the role of jock Jackson Whittemore on Teen Wolf, his manager cautioned him to "stay in character both on and off set."

Haynes says his manager told him, "Look what almost happened, Colton. The head of MTV almost didn't hire you because of that XY photo shoot we've been working our asses off to extinguish. Thank God Jeff fought for you to get that role."

Haynes confirms that Davis "indeed fought for me," adding, "I was grateful to him, and eager not to fuck up the opportunity."

Teen Wolf
Colton Haynes in 'Teen Wolf'
| Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/MTV

Representatives for MTV did not immediately respond to EW's request for comment.

Haynes participated in the XY Magazine photo shoot as a teenager. When he transitioned from model to actor, Haynes says he and his team "spent years sending cease-and-desist letters to everyone who posted my XY shoot."

He shared the image for the first time on Instagram last year, writing, "Being gay is worth celebrating. I wish I'd figured that out sooner, but I'm so glad I know it now."

The actor also recounts attempting to hide his sexuality during auditions in the memoir. "I was 22 now — more of a man, even if I was playing a high schooler on TV," he writes. "I wore a slight variation of the same wardrobe to all four of my auditions: a checkered flannel shirt under a letterman jacket I found at a thrift store, and high-top Jordans to hide my lifts. I kept that varsity style to help butch myself up a bit."

He learned "the tools I needed to suppress my affect," Haynes writes, "to make my personality match the way I looked — like a stupid, dumb jock — with just enough silly charm that people would still like me."

Miss Memory Lane is available at bookstores and online retailers now.

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