The party's leaving: Snooki's snookiest Jersey Shore moments
Ahead of her final Family Vacation episode, look back on the wildest moments from the one-of-a-kind reality star.
More than a decade after first walking into the Jersey Shore house (and our hearts), Nicole Polizzi — or as we affectionally know her, Snooki — is saying goodbye to her GTL-loving, hard-partying family. Thursday's season 3 finale of Jersey Shore Family Vacation will allegedly mark the reality superstar's final appearance in the franchise.
To celebrate Snooki's 10-plus years of alcohol-fueled debauchery, we decided to rank her wildest, funniest, snookiest moments.
10. The Cops Are Here!
Driving on foreign and unknown roads isn’t easy — we’re sure many a tourist have gotten into a sticky situation while on vacation. Maybe you’ve even found yourself in a little fender-bender without any real language skills to maneuver your way out. That all seems pretty commonplace, but naturally Snooki took that situation to a whole ‘nother level. When you put a bunch of meatheads and meatballs in Florence and give 4'8" Snooki the keys to a car, of course it’s going to end in collision, but the Snookster took it a step further and crashed into a cop car. At least it was convenient for any tickets being issued. How do you say “screwed” in Italian? We’ll settle for, Brava, Snooki! Brava.
9. The Pee Pool
As a particularly petite human with a great thirst for alcoholic beverages, it shouldn’t really surprise anyone that Snooki often finds herself desperate to pee when in public places (Heck, Snooki isn’t the only one — how can we forget when JWoww decided to urinate behind the bar in a club rather than go to the bathroom with the rest of the potty-trained patrons?). Snooki’s not-in-a-toilet peeing moment makes the list mostly for what comes after. While the gang was reuniting in Miami, Snooki returned from a night out with a full bladder and decided to relieve herself in the swimming pool. Okay, so that’s bad, but we’ve seen her do worse, we hear you cry! Well, not only did the pint-sized star keep her pants on and just squat in the shallows, mere days later The Situation used the very same pool as the location for his proposal to now-wife Lauren. What’s a proposal without a splash of gold though, eh?
When any great athlete comes out of retirement, it's natural to wonder if they've still got it. Thankfully, early on in the first season of sequel series Jersey Shore Family Vacation, Snooki proved she could still spiral with the best of them. Now, obviously this isn't the same Snooki of old, having become a mother, wife, and businesswoman in recent years, but she can still throw her fastball when needed. After a night of partying in Miami, the rest of the roommates went to bed while Snooki and Ronnie kept on going and achieved the illustrious "24 hours of spiraling." Instead of sleeping, they went right back out for some early drinking, spilling, and smelling. Snooki declaring "I don't how we're alive" about sums it up.
7. I've Fallen into a Bush, and I'm Drunk
Unleashing the Jersey Shore cast on Italy for season 4 went just about how we would have expected, between Snooki crashing into a cop car, Mike crashing his head into a wall, and Snooki crashing and falling into a bush. Out for a little pregame drinking and dancing, Snooki and Deena proved why they're the perfect meatball match. But Deena also proved that she's terrible at trust falls, considering she got out of the way as Snooki ran at her on the dance floor, causing Snooki to keep going and tumble into a nearby bush. "I couldn't stop!" she kept repeating. Let's just be thankful that Italy didn't stop accepting American tourists after all these international incidents.
6. Say My (Correct) Name
While Ronnie and Sammi may have been the Romeo and Juliet for the GTL generation, Snooki and Jionni are the couple who met on Jersey Shore and are still going strong. And that's made all the more impressive by the fact that there's actual video evidence of Snooki not knowing the name of her future husband in the middle of their first hookup. "Say my name," Jionni requests as they're under the covers in the Smush Room. One problem: "I have no idea what this kid's name is," she later admits in her confessional. When Snooki insists that she does know it and Jionni asks what it is then, she decides that it's Bernard. I don't know how long Jersey Shore Family Vacation will run for but I need cameras rolling when Snooki and
Bernard's Jionni's children ask how their parents met and are played this footage.
5. Back Flippin' into the Club
It was pretty clear from the early days of Jersey Shore that Snooki was going to bend over backwards to steal the limelight — literally. In a season 1 episode, the crew hits up fave spot Karma and get down to drinking, dancing, and general debauchery. Not one to sip a drink and gently sway to the beat, Snooki put her former cheerleading skills to good use and proceeded to back flip her way across the dance floor. Later, some splits featured in her repertoire, too. If that display of gymnastic prowess didn’t make you fall head over heels (heels over head?) for Snooki there and then, well, why are you even reading this?
4. Dear Sammi...
Here’s the thing, what happens at the Jersey Shore clubs, doesn’t stay at the Jersey Shore clubs — no matter how much Ronnie might want it to. After too many Miami evenings of Ron acting shady behind girlfriend Sammi’s back, Snooki and JWoww took it upon themselves to write an anonymous note filling her in on his antics, detailing Ron kissing other girls, putting his face between their breasts, and “grinding with multiple fat woman.” Oh, boy. Don’t worry, the ladies were smart enough to use a computer so Sammi couldn’t recognize their handwriting and words outside of their normal vocabulary (like “breasts”) to throw her off. As Sammi and Ron’s relationship imploded around them, Snooki and JWoww stayed mum on the note's origins and eventually a full-on family feud broke out, with Sammi and JWoww coming close to a physical altercation. We’d like to say Ron learned his lesson after all that drama, but that'd be as likely as Snooki swearing off shots.
3. The Thrilla in Miami
Despite her "Tyrannosaurus Rex" arms, Snooki's fighting skills against Angelina, a.k.a. The Staten Island Dump, were far from trash. Considering the two-part season 3 finale of Jersey Shore Family Vacation is focusing on the wedding of Angelina, she's come a long way after leaving the original series early in both seasons 1 and 2, leading to Deena being brought in as a replacement. But, before packing her bags in Miami, Angelina got some goodbye fists from Snooki, who during their fight kept both coming at her and chanting, "I'm still pretty, b----!" We would call it a draw, but, thanks to Mike, the table is the true winner, being the only participant to walk away without a scratch.
2. "Party's Here"
Now this is how you make an introduction. Back in a simpler time when we didn't know what GTL stood for, the very first episode of Jersey Shore featured Snooki walking into the Shore House and announcing her truly unique presence: "Hello! Party's here!" Her future family was essentially left speechless by this "little miniature chihuahua painted with some spray paint black." But they couldn't say she didn't lay out her priorities, instantly asking if they were drinking and asking for a shot. Pauly might have not known if she was Snooki, Snookers, or Snickers, but we knew we'd never forget her.
1. "I'm a F---ing Good Person!"
Let’s set the scene: It’s a beautiful, hot summer day on the Jersey Shore and Snooki is wasted. You’re right, you’re right, there’s nothing new with that scenario. This time, though, she was next-level wasted — like, walking-along-the-promenade-genuinely-asking-people-where-the-beach-is wasted. As JWoww and Deena ran after Snooki to stop her from walking into the waves, fully dressed, purse in hand, the tiny star grew more and more aggressive in her drunkenness, refusing to leave the recently-located beach and even attracting the attention of some nearby cops. When the police officers tried to physically march her from the beach, Snooki grew resistant, fighting them off and yelling. Cut to the cops arresting Snooki while she screams “I’m a good person!” for all to hear. We believe you, Snooks!!