12 memorable Seinfeld moments
From the bro to the yada yada, there's lots to mulva over when it comes to Seinfeld. Read on as we count down 12 of the sitcom's best story lines.
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12. 'Stella!' — 'The Pen,' season 3, episode 3
Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) accompanies Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) on a trip down to Florida to visit his parents and get in a little underwater recreation. But her plans for a fun day of scuba aren't meant to be — after a night spent sweating on the Seinfelds' uncomfortable sofa bed, her back is so wrecked she can hardly move. Morty (Barney Martin) suggests some muscle relaxers, and, well, Elaine gets very relaxed. Later that night at a dinner honoring Morty, a loopy Elaine is introduced to Jerry's Aunt Stella and goes full Marlon Brando, yelling "Stellllllllaaaaaaaa!" multiple times throughout the evening. Yet she somehow manages to embarrass herself less than the elder Seinfeld, who gets into a fistfight with his condo rival Jack Klompus (Sandy Baron). Only in Florida!
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11. Spare a square — 'The Stall,' season 5, episode 12
Who among us hasn't found themselves in a public restroom staring at a naked toilet paper roll? For Elaine, help is just one stall over — or so she thinks. When she asks for three measly squares, however, she's rudely rebuffed. "I don't have a square to spare," chirps the voice. "I can't spare a square." A verbal repartee so tongue-twistery it would make Peter Piper blush ensues, concluding with the other woman rushing out of the bathroom leaving Elaine high and... wet. As it turns out, the other woman is none other than Jerry's new girlfriend Jane (Jami Gertz), and Jerry spends the entire episode trying to keep the two ladies apart for fear they'll recognize each other's voices. When Elaine finally discovers Jane's identity, she hoards all the rolls of paper in the women's restroom at Monk's in retaliation.
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10. The bro/manssiere — 'The Doorman,' season 6, episode 17
Sometimes a man needs a little support. When George's dad, Frank (Jerry Stiller), comes to live with his son, he reveals a little too much of himself. Namely his oversized chest. "They were real hooters," marvels Kramer (Michael Richards). Inspired, Kramer dreams up a support undergarment specially designed for men. It's not a bra — it's a bro (though Frank prefers the term "manssiere"). Whatever the name, the two are arguably sitting on a million-dollar idea. That is until Frank learns their would-be business partner, bra salesman Sid Farkus (Patrick Cronin), wants to ask out his wife Estelle (Estelle Harris), and Frank quickly kills the deal. You could say, the bro went bust.
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9. Kramer sets up a talk show set in his apartment — 'The Merv Griffin Show,' season 9, episode 6
There was always a meta aspect to Seinfeld — a show about a fictional comedian named Jerry Seinfeld, played by a real comedian named Jerry Seinfeld. But the Hollywood tweaking goes next level when Kramer finds the discarded Merv Griffin Show set in a dumpster. Cut to Kramer in a suit, holding cue cards and interviewing the gang in his living room studio. But not even a season in, the "show" hits a low point when the only "guest" Kramer can book is Newman (Wayne Knight), whose interview banter includes a treatise on generic-brand waxed beans. Sadly, the addition of a salacious new segment called "scandals and animals" can't save the production. Cancellation was inevitable.
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8. Festivus — 'The Strike,' Season 9, Episode 10
It's a festival for the rest of us! Originally conceived by the father of Seinfeld writer Dan O'Keefe, the holiday found its way into the sitcom's ninth season as the brainchild of Frank Costanza. "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son," he tells Kramer. "I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him,
I realized there had to be another way." And thus, Festivus — occurring every Dec. 23 and featuring a metal pole, airing of grievances, and feats of strength — was born. Let's rumble!
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7. Elaine wigs out — 'The Beard,' season 6, episode 15
Can a toupee turn a man's life around? George (Jason Alexander) certainly seems to think so. "With my personality and this head of hair, you know what I am now? I'm in the game!" he says of his new rug. Kramer is so enthralled by the makeover that he agrees to set George up with a beautiful woman he knows who's just moved to town. But when George meets Denise for a date at the coffee shop he's disgusted — because, in a twist, she is bald too. "Do you see the irony here?" Elaine later asks. "You are rejecting somebody because they are bald." George doesn't see it that way, however, so Elaine takes matters into her own hands, ripping the toupee off his head and throwing it out Jerry's window. "I don't like this thing!" she yells, "And here's what I'm doing with it!" You could say it was a moment of religious awakening for George. He's bald again.
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6. Elaine dancing — 'The Little Kicks,' season 8, episode 4
It's hard to believe now, given Julia Louis-Dreyfus' awards show dominance throughout the 2010s (thanks to her portrayal of politician Selina Meyer on Veep), but the actress lost the Emmy for Seinfeld four years in a row before finally taking home a statue in 1997. The episode that secured her first win? "The Little Kicks," in which Elaine's dance moves cause quite a stir at a J. Peterman party. "It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music," George explains of Elaine's thumbs-jerking, feet-flailing technique. It takes a truly gifted actress to not only make such a believable fool of herself but also to create such an iconic dance that it was performed by a troupe of professional dancers at Dreyfus' Mark Twain Prize ceremony in 2018.
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5. The Christmas card — 'The Pick,' season 4, episode 13
Long before "nip slip" entered the popular lexicon, Seinfeld was making light of accidental overexposures. Elaine has Kramer take her Christmas card photo, but unbeknownst to her, a button on her shirt is undone. It isn't until the card is mailed to all of her family, friends, and colleagues that Elaine discovers the slip and is nicknamed "Nip" at the office. George, who didn't receive the saucy card, complains to Elaine about the slight. "You want a Christmas card!!?!?" she yells, grabbing George's face and rubbing it into her bosom. It's a holiday George will never forget.
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4. George saves a whale — 'The Marine Biologist,' season 5, episode 14
Throughout the run of the series, George dreams up a number of fake jobs — architect, latex salesman, and playwright among them — but few are as consequential as his dalliance as a marine biologist. It's Jerry who lays the groundwork in an attempt to get George a date with their former college classmate. And when she and George take a romantic walk oceanside and come upon a beached whale, George springs into action. Later, in a soliloquy — which Jerry Seinfeld wrote with Larry David the night before shooting — George says, "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli. I got about 50 feet out, and suddenly the great beast appeared..." And in one motion, George reaches into the blowhole and extracts one of Kramer's Titleists. A hole in one.
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3. The Puffy shirt — 'The Puffy Shirt,' season 5, episode 2
It could have been the big new look in men's fashion. When Jerry and Elaine go to dinner with Kramer and his new girlfriend, low talker Leslie (Wendel Meldrum), the comedian unwittingly agrees to wear the designer's signature puffy shirt during an upcoming appearance on the Today show, where he'll be promoting Elaine's Goodwill Industries benefit. By the time Jerry learns of his fashion faux pas, it's too late — production on the pirate frock has ramped up to meet anticipated department store demand, and he can't back out. The third-act reveal of Jerry in the blousy top is one of the show's all-time sight gags, and Elaine's bewildered reaction only heightens the comedy: "You're supposed to be a compassionate person that cares about poor people. You look like you're going to swing in on a chandelier!"
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2. Yada yada — 'The Yada Yada,' season 8, episode 19
It may be a simple phrase, but as George learns from girlfriend Marcy (Suzanne Cryer), "yada yada" can cover all manner of sin — whether it be a dead fiancée or a purloined Piaget. At first, George loves the succinct communication with Marcy, free of unnecessary explanations or embarrassing admissions. But when Marcy yada yadas a night with her ex who's moving to Seattle, things quickly go downhill from there. George later shows up to a wedding dateless and yada yada... Marcy is never seen on the show again.
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1. 'Master of my domain': 'The Contest,' season 4, episode 11
When a startled Estelle catches her son alone in her house doing you-know-what with a Glamour magazine, she ends up in the hospital in traction and George vows never to do that again. Of course, the gang doesn't believe he can abstain from pleasuring himself, and they make a bet to see who among them can remain master of their domain the longest. (And because of sexism, Elaine is forced to cough up $150 to the guys' $100.) One by one each succumbs to their sexual urges — Kramer sees a naked woman outside the window, Elaine takes an aerobics class with JFK Jr., Jerry dates a virgin (Jane Leeves). In this war of attrition, it appears that George is the winner. (Though in the finale he reveals that he cheated.)
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