Riverdale recap: [Spoiler] dies in the season 6 musical episode
If Riverdale were ever to host any type of convention, it should be a gathering of serial killer fans. That's precisely what we get in this week's episode. I'd like to welcome you all to this season's musical episode, featuring songs from — obviously — American Psycho.
Veronica is running the show at SlaughterCon, which includes a number of panels, musical numbers, and finally, a one-on-one chat with Betty Cooper, TBK's one survivor. (The hope is that the con will lure TBK out of the shadows.)
As Veronica details the list of events, she suddenly has a realization: What's the likelihood that a group of serial killer obsessives might, say, kill someone? "I don't want any more dead bodies on my property," Veronica tells Charles. He assures her that there's an unwritten rule among murderers: "Don't kill where you eat." I feel like I've watched enough true-crime to say that there are quite a few examples of murderers killing where they eat — and don't get me started on cannibals — but I digress.
"We love our fans. We don't want to murder them," Charles says, speaking for all serial killers everywhere, apparently.
While Veronica and Betty kick off the convention, Percival decides to test his limits and manipulate the minds of all the workers currently on strike so they get back to work. And he succeeds, but not without his nose starting to bleed. And as anyone who's ever watched a show with witches knows, nosebleeds are never good. But even magic can't compete with ... the power of music! Archie, Toni, and Tabitha sing a song to the workers to remind them of their families. Don't ask me how it works, but it does.
Speaking of magic, Cheryl decides to use some after Toni tells her the good/terrible news: She and Fangs are getting married. Cheryl then enlists Kevin — when he isn't busy performing numbers from American Psycho at the convention — to help her put a wedge spell on Toni and Fangs. Get it? It will drive a wedge between them. I have to say, Cheryl drops "for all eternity" pretty casually when casting that spell. Seems like perhaps she should've given it more thought.
And guess what? It backfires! Fate decides that the wedge should be a sick baby, so the spell gives poor Anthony colic. Thankfully, Heather is there to fix Cheryl's mistake. The two of them then attend Toni's bachelorette party and decide to move forward with their relationship.
Back at the convention, Betty discovers her biggest fan: He even bought her father's knife on E Slay!!! "You're my hero, Betty Cooper," he tells her. "You're practically one of them." He then follows up that incredibly rude sentence by saying he'd be honored to be Betty's first kill. Imagine saying that to an FBI agent!
Betty has him escorted out, but day one is still a bust. TBK doesn't show, and then Agent Drake confesses her love to Betty. It seems Betty has a choice: Good guy Archie or Agent Drake, someone with whom she might have more in common.
After Betty has a dream about Agent Drake, she tells Veronica about everything. Betty's concerned that she compartmentalizes with Archie, that she doesn't talk about the dark parts of herself. "With Drake I don't feel the need to censor myself," she says. But Veronica is not a fan of this love triangle. She tells Betty to talk to Archie and then proceeds to tell Drake to back off. Specifically, she tells Drake to "keep your libido to yourself," the best line of this episode by far.
During Betty's big one-on-one panel — which is just an interview with her mother — TBK calls in. He then calls her out on how pathetic this convention is as it's obviously an attempt to entrap him. According to TBK, this isn't how their story ends. Rather, it ends with "you and me and a kiss in the dark."
After Toni's bachelorette dance party, Betty decides to talk to Archie. She tells him her new plan: She's going to sing at the convention and hope that draws TBK out. She then admits that TBK might be right about her — she's not sure she wants marriage, kids, and a white picket fence, otherwise known as all the things Archie definitely wants. She knows that was a dealbreaker with Veronica, so when she asks if that's the case here, too, he tells her they should talk after they catch TBK.
Betty updates Veronica about her fears that she's too dark for Archie, but Veronica reminds her of all the people she's murdered (including her own father). "We're all dark in Riverdale. Archie's a big boy," Veronica tells her in what is my favorite story of the episode. I love the fact that Veronica is mature enough to root for her best friend and her ex.
Long story short, Betty's back-up plan also fails: All she gets out of singing at the convention is the return of her biggest fan, and this time he has the gun her father used to shoot ... Archie's father. (Yeah that will always be awkward.)
However, singing does give Betty a bit of clarity. When Drake asks who she was singing about, we see that it was Archie — not TBK and not Drake.
But speaking of TBK, he's waiting for her when she gets home. After tying Alice and Charles up in the kitchen, TBK sets up a romantic dinner for two in the garage. He even made Betty her own duct tape mask! Hey, at least the guy knows not to show up empty handed.
As he tells her that she's one of "us," she finally fights back. People have told her that for years, and you know what? It's not true! She tells TBK that she's nothing like him, then pulls the trigger on her father's gun and kills him.
Betty then finally comes clean to Archie, telling him that she's scared that whatever was inside her dad is inside her too and that one day she might not be able to resist it. She's scared that he will be a victim of that darkness and won't want to be with her. Archie assures her, "You may not trust yourself, Betty, but I trust you with my life."
He then reminds her of a moment from when they were kids: They found a wounded baby bird and Betty nursed it back to health. Betty might see darkness, but Archie sees someone who continues to fight despite everything she's been through. And the fact that she's worried about her darkness shows what's in her heart. The two end the episode with a kiss.
So, TBK is finally done, Barchie is good, and ... Jughead is still in that bunker dealing with all things Rivervale.
Sign up for Entertainment Weekly's free daily newsletter to get breaking TV news, exclusive first looks, recaps, reviews, interviews with your favorite stars, and more.