S5 E16
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When last we saw our intrepid group of angels and humans, Lucifer and Chloe had gotten together, finally. It was as satisfying as anyone could've hoped, although Lucifer stops short of telling her he loves her. On the shocking revelations front, Amenadiel learned that his son is human, Linda located the daughter she gave up for adoption years ago working as a realtor in L.A., Ella discovered that she's dating a serial killer, and Dan found out that he's been working with the literal devil for years.

Lucifer's evil twin Michael convinced Dan to gun Lucifer down in order to save his own soul, but our favorite angel shook off the bullets because he's invulnerable to harm even with Chloe around now. Speaking of souls, Maze embarked on a quest to get one of her own, and she sided with Michael against Lucifer to do it. After all, Lucifer lied to her about stashing her mother's immortality in the ring he always wears. And amid all that chaos of the mid-season finale, God himself appeared, clad in a cuddly sweater and wearing Dennis Haysbert's face.

And that's where we pick up. With their father in L.A., his angelic sons waste no time in reverting to form. Lucifer gets all shouty, Michael whines, and Amenadiel tries to take responsibility for everything.

Now let's dive right into the binge recap for the final eight episodes of Lucifer season 5.

Episode 9: "Family Dinner"

While God (Dennis Haysbert) takes the opportunity to coo over his grandson — as he should; baby Charlie is truly adorable — Lucifer (Tom Ellis) flees to Lux, where he's showboating on the piano when Chloe tracks him down.

Chloe (Lauren German) practically sprains something trying so hard to be the chill girlfriend. She tells Lucifer to take all the space he needs, which is why she's surprised when he shows up at their newest crime scene.

She's also surprised to see both Dan (Kevin Alejandro) and Ella (Aimee Garcia) there, too, since the former recently shot Lucifer after discovering his true nature, and the latter's boyfriend was recently outed as a serial killer. But they've all converged on the Kingdom, an amusement park run by the Peterson family, to solve the murder of the episode.

The bludgeoned and burned victim is Chris Peterson, one of the adult children, and Lucifer immediately projects his own issues onto the siblings, who are all suspects. (Ella offers to point out which one she's most attracted to. "If I've got a broken picker, might as well use it for the greater good, right?" Bless, Ella. Bless, and getcha some therapy, stat.)

Although the siblings insist that they were a close-knit family, Juan, the owner of rival amusement park Hole in Juan, confides that Chris came to him looking for a job because he couldn't stand his family.

At this point, the Peterson siblings fall all over themselves to accuse each other, and before long patriarch Peter Peterson (John Glover) confesses to killing Chris. He's swiftly arrested, although nobody in the precinct or watching at home believes for a second that he did it.

And now we get to the heart of the episode: family dinner. All God wants is to make a nice roast chicken to share with his sons and the mother of his grandbaby, who reluctantly gets roped into this awkward affair.

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Dennis Haysbert and Tom Ellis in 'Lucifer'

Although he had initially refused to attend, Lucifer shows up, soufflé in hand, to sulkily join his family. But hey, at least he's there. Then Linda proves yet again why she's the VIP of the show by saying grace thusly: "I'd like to thank God — I'm used to you being up there — thank you, God, for this food and the company and oceans and napkins and shoes and life." She comes to a flustered halt, and a supportive Amenadiel (D.B. Woodside) tells her she did great.

Dinner goes as well as can be expected. Lucifer busts Amenadiel for calling God an ass and chides his father for not making it clear that they were manifesting their own powers. He and Michael spar about whose lot in life is worse while Amenadiel relies on the tried-and-true family dinner coping mechanism of gulping down glass after glass of wine.

Fed up, God bellows, killing the electricity and summoning a fierce rainstorm, and amid all the tension, Linda starts to laugh. "Chicken. I get it. It's your favorite. That's why everything tastes like chicken!" A beat, then, "I'm sorry, I'm really uncomfortable."

Next, she pivots to therapist mode, explaining that it's wonderfully normal to see three sons who want their father's love and don't feel like they're getting it. God says he just wanted to empower them to make their own choices, but when Lucifer straight-out asks him if he loves them, God sadly says, "If I have to tell you, then I really have failed."

Lucifer storms out, leaving Amenadiel and God on dish duty. Amenadiel takes the opportunity to beg God to make a swap: let Charlie be an angel while Amenadiel will become human. God declines. 

God also tells Michael that he's no longer welcome on Earth, although he himself plans to stick around a little longer. "You have a futon, right?" he asks Amenadiel.

Back at the murder case, the real killer's revealed to be Chris' girlfriend, who was trying to burn down the amusement park to free Chris from the Kingdom's toxicity. But when he caught her, they argued, and he hit his head and died. Chris died to protect the Kingdom, just like Peter Peterson was willing to sacrifice himself to protect his children.

With the case resolved, Lucifer informs Chloe that she's wonderful, but because he's God's son, he's incapable of love. He can only tell the truth, and saying "I love you" would be a lie.

Stray feathers

  • I'm begging you, show, don't come up with a million convoluted reasons to keep Chloe and Lucifer apart now that they've come together.
  • Okay, Dennis Haysbert's cozy sweater budget may be out of control, but Maze's red cloak is even more so. And poor Maze, asking God for a soul so she can be like everyone else. Even though God tells her she's perfect just as she is, she's adamant that he doesn't want to admit how much he screwed up when he made demons.
  • For the record, God's secret ingredient for the perfect roast chicken? Rosemary.

Episode 10: "Bloody Celestial Karaoke Jam"

Musical episode time! Who's ready to be delighted?

We open on Lucifer absolutely singing the hell out of Chris Isaak's Wicked Game, although he's changed the lyrics to say that he does want to fall in love, not that he doesn't. So that's the headspace he's in when God shows up to check on him. Of course, the visit doesn't go well; he still blames dear old dad for screwing up his chance at happiness.

That's not the only thing God's up to in this episode. When Lucifer arrives at a high school football field to help investigate how a poisoned whistle ended up killing a referee, everyone in the area starts to sing and dance along to "Another One Bites the Dust."

It's as giddily fun as you could hope for, and it shows off both Ella's and Dan's pipes and everyone's dance moves. Even dead referee Steve gets up to bust a move before collapsing again.

When the song ends, Lucifer spots God on the sidelines, rocking socks with sandals, dad-style. But it's Chloe who reads him the riot act, working parent to working parent, about how poorly he treated Lucifer. Her outrage on Lucifer's behalf is lovely, and although God endures the verbal dressing-down patiently, Lucifer leads her away before anyone gets smited.

In the interrogation room, a helicopter mom whose jock son lost a college scholarship thanks to one of Steve's calls busts out "I'll Be Watching You," and since said mom is played by Debbie Gibson, it is perfect. Again, Lucifer changes the lyrics to apply to his own situation with his dad's constant surveillance.

Although the mother/son duo's a dead end, they point the police to a parking lot argument Steve had. Before they leave, Lucifer urges the son to flee his tyrant mother, while Chloe suggests working through those issues so he can have normal, loving relationships as an adult.

Lucifer's definitely not there yet, and he and God grumble at each other over his lack of a desk in the precinct. "It's open floor plan, Dad," Lucifer snaps. Then God bumps into Dan and starts to mess with him about their shared connection with Charlotte. It (rightfully) leaves Dan a quivering mess.

Before we leave the precinct, Maze rolls up with a tough, tattooed bounty, and she and Ella perform an outstanding mashup of "Bad to the Bone" and "No Scrubs" as they both flaunt and fight their true natures. What a gift those two performers (and those two characters!) are.

Lucifer has the best idea of the episode and takes God to Dr. Linda's office, where she puts them on the couch. God makes an excellent point when he complains that Lucifer paints him as either too controlling or too distant, which means he can't win either way.

But Linda chides God for not evolving beyond all this nonsense and tells him that a good father loves and supports his son unconditionally. Of course, her words have a double meaning; just that morning, Amenadiel wasn't able to control his despair that little Charlie is merely mortal, and she's still smarting from that.

Meanwhile, Dan's still rocked by his godly encounter and finds Amenadiel at Lux, where he's blasé about Amen's angelic-ness but is horrified to learn that he and God's wife, erm, occasionally inhabited Charlotte's body at the same time.

Dan's pretty sure he's headed to Hell for sleeping with God's wife and launches into "Hell" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers, which brought me extreme amounts of '90s kid joy. Of course, God's on hand to watch and enjoy, even though Lucifer begs him to stop.

Amenadiel, at least, has a change of heart and joins Linda on a walk with Charlie, and they frolic to "Just the Two of Us," another sweetly inspired choice. Looks like he's coming to terms with Charlie's humanity after all.

The case wraps with the discovery that Steve's chemistry teacher wife stole his whistle from his truck and applied the poison to escape their marriage. Steve, it turns out, was a critical, controlling monster, and she'd had enough.

Following the arrest, Lucifer tells Chloe that his relationship with his father is too broken to be mended. So Chloe heads home to relive a montage of the greatest Chloe/Lucifer hits over the years while Trixie sings "Smile."

But that's not the last song of the night. After Lucifer tells God that he ruined his relationship with Chloe, they sing "I Dreamed a Dream" in his dramatically fog-filled penthouse. In the end, God tells an emotional Lucifer that although he's sorry for Lucifer's pain, he can't fix him.

"But you're God," Lucifer says, sounding almost childlike in his confusion and disappointment. He demands that his father quit controlling him, and a tear streaks down God's cheek as he confesses that he might be losing control of his powers.

Stray feathers

  • An out-of-control God? That's… that's not good.
  • So this makes two episodes in a row where the murderer was the wife/girlfriend. You doing okay, writers' room? Everything good with you and your partners?
  • Sure, God says he's trying not to be too judgmental, but he also has the audacity to ask Lucifer, "Why is your kitchen just a wall of scotch?"
  • The only main character not to be featured in a song is Chloe, which just feels right somehow, doesn't it? A singing Chloe doesn't quite fit.

Episode 11: "Resting Devil Face"

Let this episode henceforth be known as the one where God made Dan explode.

The hour starts innocently enough, with God fixing the plumbing and tightening the wobbly dancing poles at Lux. But he ignores his sons' requests for him to head back home, and at the precinct, when Dan apologizes for the whole "accidentally slept with your wife" thing, God shakes his hand so hard that Dan splats into a big, bloody mess.

God quickly puts Dan back together and nobody's the wiser, mostly. But despite Lucifer's argument that his glitchy powers are too dangerous for Earth, God tags along to the newest crime scene. There's a catch, though: he's ditched his powers and made himself human.

Yep, God wants to follow in his son's footsteps to better understand him. And that journey of discovery starts with the murder of famous fighter Albert "Almighty" Wolcott, whose death was staged to look like an overdose.

Chloe's disappointed not to be able to tap into God's omnipotence to figure out whodunit — although they all probably should've given that a try a couple of murders ago — but she lets him join the investigation.

When God's introduced to Ella as Lucifer's father, she gives him a big hug and he thanks her for all the support. "It hasn't gone unnoticed." For some reason, this little moment really got me. With such larger-than-life characters, it can be easy to forget that we're dealing with beings who inspire fervent faith, including Ella's sunny devotion over the years. Oh also, God gets brain freeze while drinking a slushie, and Lucifer has to take his billion-year-old father to the little boy's room.

Chloe, Lucifer, and God head to the hospital where Almighty was treated for a career-ending heart attack and where he was later arrested for breaking in, presumably to steal drugs.

Dr. Porter (Catherine Dent), who performed the surgery, identifies the drug as YSD, a synthetic used by fighter pilots. She says it's hard to acquire and is shocked when Lucifer pulls it out of the party-favors pillbox he keeps in his pocket. Loved seeing that little reminder of his hedonistic lifestyle!

Since Lucifer knows the only YSD dealer in town, they set up a sting, which God crashes. The dealer, a former soldier known as the Colonel, is at first thrilled to meet Lucifer's dad, especially since he's more supportive than her career military mother ever was. But before long, God's bragging about how well Lucifer's doing on the sting. Oops.

When God mutters that everything will be fine, Lucifer spits back, "That's what you said about the bloody dinosaurs." That's when the Colonel punches God in the mouth, activating Lucifer's devil face. By the time Chloe and Dan burst in, the bad guys are incapacitated, and God's disturbed to realize that this is how Lucifer truly sees himself.

Okay, let's circle back to Trixie for a sec. She got suspended for stealing Chloe's cuffs and locking up a bully at school, so Chloe had to leave her with Linda for the day. Since Trixie's potty trained and has never tried to rip Linda's earrings out, Linda's fine with that. In fact, she tries to get Trixie to talk about what led to the school confrontation.

At first, Trixie wants nothing to do with Linda's therapist tactics, but Linda gently explains the concept of denial and how it can lead to lashing out at someone else. Linda suggests Trixie look into her heart to see who she's really mad at and then tell that person, even if it might hurt their feelings.

This leads Trixie to march into Lucifer's penthouse and kick him in the shin. She insults his hair and calls him irresponsible, but he just boots her out of the penthouse for a month. Nice try, Trix. Also, God's passed out after drinking away his experience with the Colonel. See? That's the reason Lucifer's kitchen is all scotch bottles!

Speaking of the Colonel, she crumbles when Chloe threatens to call her four-star-general mom, who'd be bitterly disappointed in her, and says that a trainer named Kristoff likely gave Almighty the YSD.

But Kristoff says that although the YSD helps his clients focus, Almighty would never have taken drugs because he treated his body like a temple. So if he didn't break into the hospital for drugs, Chloe deduces that it was for medical records.

It's a short jump from there to arresting Dr. Porter for killing Almighty after he realized she'd botched his triple-bypass and was hooked on YSD. Chloe tells Porter that pretending she's okay is just hurting the people who depend on her. This, naturally, has a double meaning for her.

Okay, now let's hop over to Maze. Amenadiel finds her feeling sorry for his soulless self and recruits her to help him take care of drunk God. Um, uh oh.

Sure enough, while Amenadiel praises her emotional maturity in owning up to her mistakes, she creeps into the penthouse with her knives drawn, ready to kill her maker. But God's missing, off to find his powers. See, when he put them aside to work the case, he kinda forgot where he left them.

Now it's a race to see who'll get to God first, his sons or the demon hellbent on vengeance. In the end, it's actually Trixie who finds him, and they have a lovely heart-to-heart. She's mad at Lucifer for disappearing when he went to "Florida" — a.k.a. Hell — and for making her mom sad.

God, meanwhile, worries that he screwed up the amount of free will, responsibility, and consequence that he bestowed to Lucifer over the millennia. God and Trixie agree that parenting and being a kid are both tough jobs.

This helps God remember that he left his powers in Charlie's silver rattle. After he reclaims them (and breaks up yet another Lucy/Amenadiel fight), he heads to Lux, where he finds Maze. God tells her that he knows she was tracking him all day, and she beats herself up for not bringing herself to kill him the way a proper demon would.

But God calmly points out that if an angel and a human can have a child or the devil can fall in love, perhaps a demon can also grow a soul. His suggestion leaves Maze fighting tears.

Then he bumps into Dan, who's pretty sure he remembers God killing him earlier in the day. After he spills his drink on God's sweater, Dan begs him to get it over with already. But God thanks Dan for giving his ex-wife the love she deserved. When Dan (wisely) declines to shake his hand, God slaps him on the back and walks away.

Back at the penthouse, God tells his sons that he's been slipping for a long time, so he's ready to retire. And just like that, he vanishes. 

Stray feathers

  • Fingers crossed Chloe follows through on her bedtime promise to Trixie that she'll tell Lucifer the truth about her feelings. Let's rip this Band-Aid off and start communicating, people!
  • Pretty sure that every time Lesley-Ann Brandt nonchalantly spins Maze's knives, a demon gets its wings.
  • This episode had several laugh-out-loud moments for me, including the Lieutenant Diablo sign on the wall of Kristoff's gym, the Lux soda dispenser pumping out pinot noir thanks to a godly upgrade, and Lucifer announcing that he kept the Colonel from "pulling a Nietzsche." It's just so nice to have this show back, isn't it?

Episode 12: "Daniel Espinoza: Naked and Afraid"

Daniel Espinoza's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day is actually wild, wonderful, extra good, very fun viewing for the rest of us.

Lucifer's put out that Dan doesn't know how to respond to his insults now that he knows he's dealing with the devil. ("It's like being teased by Genghis Khan or Darth Vader," Dan says.)

Lucifer huffs that Dan shouldn't come to him for favors anytime soon, but Chloe suggests he give Dan more time to process this revelation. In the end, Lucifer suggests sending Dan south of the border to pick up a Los X banger being extradited to LA.

Dan agrees, hoping the drive will clear his head, but Chloe warns him that the officer on the other end is Luis, a bad cop they previously encountered on a task force. Chloe begs him not to let Luis steer him off the straight-and-narrow, and Dan promises that won't happen.

In Mexico, Luis greets Dan at a bar, tells him the prisoner isn't being discharged until the morning, and tries to enlist Dan's help in delivering "holistic crystals" to L.A. Although Dan's grappling with the nature of the universe now that he knows God can make mistakes, he nevertheless declines.

But the next morning, he wakes up naked in bed with a dead man. It's Luis' bookkeeper Benito, and Luis admits that he owes money to the L.A.-based Russian mob. Luis begs Dan to deliver a box of cash to them while he stays in Mexico to protect his family.

Dan agrees to help his friend, and the prisoner he's transporting starts hassling him about what's in the box. She urges him to turn to God for strength to be better, but Dan just laughs because God exploded his entire body for sleeping with his wife. Just as Dan's warning her that life has a way of blindsiding you, his car is T-boned. He wakes up with a head wound, no box, and no prisoner, and his car and part of his forehead tagged by Los X.

As he's trying to puzzle out what to do, two members of his improv troupe happen upon him on their way back from a gig. They give him a ride to Lucifer's, where Detective Daniel Espinoza asks the devil for a favor. And oh, does Lucifer smile at that.

See, Dan can't go to Chloe or the police for help given the nature of the money box, so he and Lucifer hatch a plan. They head to the Los X bike shop, where Dan awkwardly scales a fence and trips over a pile of junk in his attempt to sneak inside to claim the box of money. While he's doing that, Lucifer strolls in the front and asks to buy their most expensive bike. (They sell tricked-out bicycles, not anything motorized, for the record.)

Episode 512
D.B. Woodside and Kevin Alejandro in 'Lucifer'

In the back room, Dan catches a man trying to steal the box of money, so he pulls a gun on him and tells the guy to cuff himself. He slips out with the box, only to be attacked by the shop's guard dog.

In the front of the store, Lucifer and the employees have bonded over their various family traumas, and he's leading them all in a group hug therapy session when a bloodied Dan bursts in.

Lucifer tells him to flee on a bike while he flashes his devil eyes to fight off the shop employees. But as Dan's biking away, he realizes the box is leaking blood, and in his panic, rides into a parked car.

Yep, the box actually contains Benito's head, and at this point, Luis and his crew find Dan and haul him back to his place.

Dan realizes the Russians are actually Luis' competition, and he was being used to send them a message. And since Dan cuffed Luis's guy back at the bike shop, Luis demands that Dan carry out the hit that the cuffed guy was going to do. To guarantee his cooperation, Luis injected Dan with a lethal toxin. Dan's got 10 hours to kill the Russian mob's bookkeeper in exchange for the antidote.

Don't worry; Dan's got a plan. He storms into Ella's lab and asks her to spitball ideas for a perfect murder. She's actually been working on exactly that in her novel about a super cheerfully but secretly tormented forensic scientist who talks to ghosts.

Armed with Ella's info, Dan arrives at Svetlana the bookkeeper's house, prepared to help her fake her death with pig's blood and hamburger for brain matter. Svetlana proves it's no accident she works for the mob by knocking him out with a baseball bat and fleeing in his car.

This is a new low point for Dan, who calls Amenadiel in desperation. Although the angel points out that he isn't an Uber, he still allows Dan to climb into his arms for the flight home. There, Dan finds Maze waiting for him. She's offended that he'd call Amenadiel over her and cackles mightily when he tells his story so far.

But she's got a solution for him: sell Luis out to the Russians and have them take care of Luis after he scores the antidote with the faked proof of Svetlana's death that Maze will provide. Easy peasy. Oh also, she tells him to use the name "Joe Stone" with the Russian mobsters because "Daniel Espinoza" sounds like a cop. He thanks her for helping him, and she's actually pretty sweet about it all.

When "Joe" meets with the Russians at their restaurant, they're about to agree to his plan when Dr. Linda arrives and cheerfully greets him as Dan. Thinking fast, he pulls her aside, tells her that he's undercover, and asks her to hit him, which she does without hesitation.

He struts back to the Russians and calls Linda his sidepiece who doesn't know his real name. But Linda's not done and comes over to throw a drink in his face for good measure. As always, she is the best.

That night, Lucifer's closed Lux for Dan's crime boss summit, and he hired Dan's improv friends to serve as his backup crew for the night. Unfortunately, they've costumed themselves like a community theater mashup of West Side Story and Guys and Dolls.

Maze shows up with Svetlana, alive, and tells Luis to kill her himself. Then the Russians arrive and hear Luis call Dan by his real name. Guns are drawn, and Dan loses it. He begs them all to stop because if the world really is senseless and random, as he's starting to think it is, then all they can do is what they think is best. And wouldn't it be best for nobody to die today?

The mobsters all put their weapons down… until the Los X gang also show up looking for payback. One of the improv goofs pulls his gun like a tough guy, and the shooting begins in earnest. The improv troupe is the first to fall, followed by the Russians, Luis's gang, and the Xers.

Meanwhile Dan's scrambling for the antidote, and Maze takes a bullet meant for him. She dies in his arms, and Dan's left surrounded by corpses.

Gotta be honest, at this point, I started to wonder if Dan was in a hell loop, particularly when Lucifer shows up and demands to know what happened. Dan stammers that he was just trying to help, and Lucifer snaps that sometimes when you try to do the right thing, people who don't deserve it end up getting shot.

At this point, all the corpses come back to life and spit out their blood squibs as Lucifer congratulates them all on a job well done. The club bursts to life with music, booze, and food, and Dan realizes that Lucifer staged the entire thing. It took over $5 million, countless hours, meticulous planning, and dozens of favors called in. The only people not in on it were Amenadiel, Linda, Ella, and Chloe.

Dan's astounded that Lucifer knew exactly what decision he'd make at every step of the way, but Lucifer explains that he was counting on Dan's oafish optimism to keep him moving toward the right thing. The experience left Dan reflective, and he thanks Lucifer for pulling him out of the weird place he's been in for so long.

Lucifer, though, is disappointed to hear that this experience was a positive one. After all, he set this up as a punishment. When a baffled Dan asks why, Lucifer's answer is simple: "Because you f---ing shot me!"

Stray feathers

  • Does this show know how to do a standalone, single-character episode, or what? It was wildly entertaining from start to finish and easily the most I've ever enjoyed Detective Douche.
  • Here's another episode where the set dressing shines. From Dan's workout decor to the fake movie posters adorning his wall (The Zamboni! Weaponizer! Bog Shark!), it was pitch-perfect and exactly what I expected Dan's apartment to be like.
  • So hit me. Did you spot the Easter eggs, like Lucifer mentioned? I'll start: Ella really does see ghosts, kind of. Spill yours in the comments!

Episode 13: "A Little Harmless Stalking"

If you take only one lesson away from this episode, let it be this: don't bring a beanbag to a demon fight. Or possibly this: if you're going to commit crimes, make sure your bio mom has connections with the local police department.

So Dr. Linda's been doing a little light stalking of Adriana, the daughter she gave up for adoption. And when it looks like Adriana may be on the hook for a murder, Linda confesses to doing the deed herself. 

Nobody believes her, of course. It was a robbery gone wrong, and the more Linda describes the killing as "really good" and "hard" and "all the way dead," the more skeptical Lucifer and company are. Then Adriana turns up to confess to the murder. Like mother, like daughter!

So it's off to investigate… and engage in some romance. Lucifer's decided to stop overthinking things and tells Chloe he's all in on their relationship. Unfortunately, their subsequent lovey-dovey interactions feel so forced and cringey, I actually said "ew" when they kissed. Yes, it was inappropriate at a crime scene, but I also hope they can find a better balance in their relationship moving forward.

Maze, meanwhile, gets shot with a beanbag round when she enters a suspect's house. The rival bounty hunter turns out to be Eve (Inbar Lavi), who realized on her self-discovery walkabout that being with Maze made her happier than she's ever been. When they team up to clear Linda and Adriana of the murder, Eve gets shot by a real bullet in pursuit of the murderer.

She survives, but now Maze is terrified of losing her and offers Eve her mother's immortality ring. But Eve doesn't want to live forever, not after seeing what it did to her son Cain, and suggests that Maze actually wants to protect herself from pain. Maze leaves with the heartbroken vibe of "I self-actualized a soul for this?"

Thanks to a Lucifer desire whammy, Adriana admits that she was working with a gallery owner to share the security codes of homes with valuable art in them. But she only did it to pay for her sick mother's medical care, and she did try to back out.

Although Linda (rightfully) accuses Lucifer of being too self-absorbed to be there for her, he does believe her when she says Adriana's innocent, so the police review all the evidence again. With Linda's help (remember, she's been following Adriana around and knows every one of her recent movements), they're able to prove that Adriana's no-good boyfriend tried to pull off a robbery, then framed Adriana for murder when the man came home early.

Episode 513 of LUCIFER
Lesley-Ann Brandt and Tom Ellis in 'Lucifer'

Linda doesn't take the chance to tell Adriana her real identity, confessing to Lucifer that she's afraid of rejection. Lucifer understands, as he's scared that he's not worthy of Chloe's love.

But that night, Adriana knocks on Linda's door. Her mother's treatment center received an anonymous donation, and she correctly guesses that Linda's her mom. She's suspected ever since the open house in episode 5 because when you're adopted, you look closely at everyone in the proper age range who looks a little like you. It's a lovely moment, particularly when she gets to meet her half-brother Charlie.

Amenadiel has been researching what it means to be God and asks Ella what she'd change about him if she could. She can't think of a thing, even though God loves her more than anyone should given her darkness. Amenadiel urges her to take that faith in God and put it in herself.

But it's all got him thinking about his future, and he's reluctant to give up the life he's built on Earth. No worries, though. Lucifer has a plan: "I'm going to be God."

Stray feathers

  • So, uh, no punishment for Adriana at all for getting involved in a crime ring? She seems great, and she had her reasons, but can they at least not have struck an official bargain for her to testify in exchange for charges being dropped?
  • How great to see Eve again! Here's hoping this isn't the end of her love story with Maze, though.
  • Hey look, the immortality ring's back in play. There's gotta be a reason it's been brought up again, right?

Episode 14: "Nothing Lasts Forever"

Lucifer as God. It takes a little getting used to, no?

Chloe doesn't see how this'll be good for their relationship, and her fears are driven home when a noted marine conservationist is found ripped to pieces by sharks. Bruna Lorenzi existed only to keep her struggling aquarium running, at the cost of time with her family, and she played god over which fish lived and which got sold to local restaurants.

This revelation leads the police to a restaurant that serves rare and illegal animals. We're talking panda meat here, people. Bald eagle burgers. But it turns out the illegal meat guy isn't the killer; it's aquarium owner Elizabeth, who should forever be remembered as the murderer who hotly informs the police, "The shark's name is Andrew." Her delivery made me howl.

Okay, now to the heavenly shuffle. God gathers all his children for a barbecue in the park and tells them he won't pick his replacement until his retirement plans are in place. So Lucifer's obsessed with finding God the perfect home and companion to retire with.

He sets his dad up with Penelope, Chloe's mom, and although Penelope flirts up a storm with "Godfrey," God tells Lucifer that the only person he's ever loved is his wife.

Over a round of golf the next day, Amenadiel points out that God doesn't really seem to be losing it, and God says he didn't think so either until Michael pointed it out to him. Oh man, is Michael gaslighting God and causing him to self-actualize his power problems?

Maze, meanwhile, has realized that with a soul, she'll end up in Hell when she dies. Amenadiel suggests she get Lucifer to name her Hell's ruler once he's God. Lucifer agrees, so let's hear it for Maziqueen! Also, anyone keeping track of the immortality ring should note that she returns it to Lucifer during this conversation. I have no idea if it'll actually come into play this season or next, but it's been mentioned enough that it's on my radar.

And then there's Ella. She's been seeing Dr. Linda following the "my boyfriend is a serial killer" reveal and confides that she's been dealing with violent, intrusive fantasies about the people around her. This is the darkness she keeps referring to. Then she bumps into Lucifer's dad and jokes that if he's God, he can smite the darkness out of her. But he tells her he can see her goodness all the way from Heaven. I love what an Ella-fan God is!

Speaking of Heaven, Lucifer figures out how to send ol' Dad off into retirement. He summons chatty angel Gabriel and asks her to summon their mother (still played by Tricia Helfer) from the universe where she's Goddess. She only has enough juice to stay in our universe for a short time, but it's enough for her and God to decide that he'll retire to her world for the rest of time.

Lucifer's shaken to learn that God won't be around to annoy him anymore. God finally tells him he loves him and is proud of him, while Goddess calls Amenadiel her kindest, wisest son.

Just before the two deities step through the rift between our world and theirs, God announces that they're on their own to figure out who'll be in charge.

But Chloe still can't see how she can fit into Lucifer's life when he becomes God, although Dan kindly assures her that they can make it work. We love a supportive ex-husband! Then Chloe has a major revelation courtesy of her mother: Chloe's dad didn't give up on his dreams of being a detective for the sake of Penelope's career. They'd agreed to take turns, but John died before he could follow through on his step of the plan.

This new perspective prompts Chloe to make a major decision: she's quitting the LAPD to help Lucifer the way he's helped her for the past five years.

As Lucifer's processing this news, we learn that Michael's been gathering support to become God, even ordering Gabriel to grant Lucifer's favor so she could grab Azrael's blade from their mother's universe. An angel war is brewing.

Stray feathers

  • Y'all, I hate Chloe's plan. HATE IT. I'm willing to hear her out, but quitting her job to trot after Lucifer-God feels all wrong for the character.
  • Anybody else get the vibe that Gabriel is the Wish version of Ilana Glazer?
  • There's an angel Hanjobadiel. That's… that's really all I have to say about that. Hanjobadiel.

Episode 15: "Is This Really How It's Going to End?!"

How do you do it, Lucifer? After seasons of corruption followed by buffoonery and anger, Daniel Espinoza died an optimist. A hero. A good man.

And in an episode that found him trying and failing to solidify support among the angels for his bid to become God, Lucifer learns just how well Michael has outplayed him.

Jophiel, who pops his pecs and loves Tito's vodka. Saraquel, who drools over Top Chef champion Michael Voltaggio. Zadkiel, with his exquisitely styled hair. All of them choose Michael, particularly when they learn that Lucifer only wants the job to be worthy of Chloe.

And Chloe's giving up her job for her man. She makes a big, tearful announcement to the whole precinct before Lucifer's nailed down the vote, which seems like a huge mistake on her part. Plus, she's got tons of questions about working as Lucifer's consultant. Can she pick her own hours? Does she have to pull Trixie out of school? Does she have to die? I mean, even Lucifer suggests that she not quit, given how much she loves the work. But she's adamant.

Girl. Honey. Baby doll. I beg you, don't do this.

But hey, we've got a crime to investigate. A murdered tech from the medical examiner's office was involved in a scheme with a fake psychic to steal valuables off of the bodies on his table, then point grieving family members in the direction of the psychic who'd tell them where to find the missing items. (And we all saw that Lucifer grimace when the psychic talked about doing a reading for those short-sighted Fox programming execs, yeah?)

When Chloe and Lucifer track down their fence, TJ, the man flattens Lucifer with a kick and flees at a preternatural pace. Given the ransacked state of TJ's apartment, it's clear that somebody's looking for one of the stolen items, so Dan starts tracking down possible buyers who might be in danger.

Unfortunately, he crosses paths with the murderers, foreign mercenaries who kidnap and torture him to get information on the whereabouts of the item they're searching for.

While the rest of the team frantically search for him, Dan puts up a valiant fight against his captors. But in the end, head merc Vincent Le Mec guns him down.

The police arrive in time to find Dan clinging to life. Chloe cradles him in her arms and pleads with him to hold on. He gasps out, "It's Caleb," then makes her promise to tell Trixie how much he loves her. And then he dies.

But he also gave them the information they need. Caleb Mayfield is the boy who was wrongfully arrested for murder and then killed in season 4, episode 8. Amenadiel grieved his death and placed his divine God-gifted necklace on Caleb's body. But the dead ME tech stole it from his body, and now Michael wants it to bind the blade and hilt of the Flaming Sword together. The necklace is presumably with TJ now, giving him super strength. And if Michael gets it first, Lucifer won't be able to win any war against him.

Chloe's horrified to learn that the only reason Lucifer wants to become God is to prove that he's worthy of her. Because Lucifer still isn't sure how she feels about him, he set up this conflict with Michael that led to Dan's death.

At Dan's funeral, Amenadiel beautifully eulogizes his best friend and says that he's in a better place. Except Amenadiel went to visit Dan in heaven and, well… he wasn't there. Yikes. As Ella and Lucifer duet to Boys II Men, we cut to him and Maze absolutely murdering the mercenaries. But not Le Mec. Lucifer whispers something that brings the man to his knees.

Later, Lucifer unpacks all of this on Dr. Linda's couch. He rages about this broken, unjust existence. But unlike the rest of us, there's something he can do about it. He wanted to be God for the wrong reasons before, but now he has to be God.

Stray feathers

  • Let's talk about the gifts Dan left for his friends. Although he was initially skeptical of Amenadiel's plan to become a police officer, he ended up submitting the angel's application to the academy. And how fun to see Scott Porter, on his way to becoming a Netflix regular between this and Ginny & Georgia, as the friend Dan wanted to set Ella up with. I can't wait to see where both of those storylines go in the show's final season.
  • How inspired to cast Rob Benedict as Le Mec! I can't be the only Lucifer fan who knows him best as Chuck/God on Supernatural. God, meet God.
  • For the record: Maze's plan is to let her soul slowly suffocate and die. She's the one who grew it, after all.
  • Farewell, Dan. I hope whoever wins the upcoming war can find a way to relocate you to a better afterlife. I don't even have the heart to make a "Medium Place" joke. As far as I'm concerned, Daniel Espinoza deserves the Good Place.

Episode 16: "A Chance at a Happy Ending"

In the season 5 finale, we finally meet the new God, who's definitely not the same as the old God.

Michael's convinced he's got the election in the bag, especially since he ordered Dan's death to fill Chloe with guilt. He figured this would condemn her to Hell and entice Lucifer to resume his former position, but Lucifer refuses to make that deal.

Lauren German delivers some of her finest work in the series as she reacts to this information and the news that Dan's actually in Hell. She angrily tells Lucifer that she can't just stop feeling guilty, but their disagreement's interrupted when Remeiel arrives and drops dead on Lucifer's floor.

Thanks to clues Ella finds on Remy's wing feathers, they locate Michael and his hench-angels, but they're not in time to stop Michael from killing TJ and collecting the necklace piece he needs to activate the Flaming Sword. (Looking ahead to next season, it's time for Ella to find out the truth. They can't keep telling her Lucifer ran over an emu forever.)

That night, Lucifer, Amenadiel, Chloe, and Maze bury Remiel. Lucifer doesn't want Chloe to join the fight against the angels, but she insists, and Maze arms her with a demon blade, which might be the kindest compliment Maze can pay a human.

Speaking of, Maze reconciled with Eve, promising to stay with her "'til the years are showing on your face and my strongest days are gone." I DIE. This couple is so wonderful.

The heavenly election takes place at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, where Lucifer tries to convince his siblings not to elect Michael just because they're afraid of him. But in the end, he only persuades two others to join his side.

D.B. Woodside, Tom Ellis, and Lauren German in 'Lucifer'

The votes cast, Michael loudly declares himself God. Nothing happens, so he shouts it again. Gabriel suggests that it has to be unanimous, and Michael's fine killing his opposition. The good guys stall by singing "U Can't Touch This," and when Michael orders them to stop, they all shout "Hammer time." Ha!

Thankfully, Maze arrives with a ragtag demon army, and realizing that they're now evenly matched (bonus points for the demon-blade bullets Chloe and Eve are toting!), Lucifer and Michael decide to settle this, mano a mano.

Michael has the Flaming Sword, and Zadkiel tosses Lucifer his staff made from the Tree of Life. The angels soar into the air to fight, but soon enough the staff gets broken and Lucifer plummets to Earth. In the confusion, Chloe grabs the necklace and deactivates the flaming part of the sword.

Then Azrael the angel of death appears and mournfully tells Lucifer that she's sorry. Michael runs Chloe through with the broken end of the staff. In a reversal of the way she held Dan, Chloe's cradled by Lucifer as she dies, free of guilt and full of love.

Lucifer knows he can't follow her to Heaven. He does it anyway. Once he's gone, Maze and her demons launch an assault on the angels, despite her agreement not to kill anyone.

So the devil crashes into paradise and is greeted by Mr. Said Out Bitch, who escaped Hell by finally stepping through that door and making peace with his family. (Remember episode 1?) Lucifer's astounded that this can be done, then realizes that he didn't burn to a crisp thanks to Lilith's immortality ring. But its power is running out, so he races to find Chloe.

She's picnicking by a lake with her father, laughing and at peace in a flowy dress, but when Lucifer arrives, she remembers the war, Trixie, all of it. With the last of the power left in the ring, Lucifer places it on Chloe's finger and tells her he loves her as he burns into nothingness.

When Chloe wakes up, she's still clutching the necklace, which gives her superhuman strength to kick Michael's ass.

Then there's Lucifer, alive, stopping her as she holds the knife to his brother's throat. Rather than executing Michael, Lucifer slices off his wings and declares that everyone deserves a second chance.

Amenadiel's the first to drop to his knees, and the rest of the company follows suit, leaving Lucifer, framed by the coliseum's stately mural arch, to declare, "Oh my Me!"

Stray feathers

  • As they're packing up Dan's apartment, Linda consoles a sobbing Maze with these words: "Sometimes when you care about people, you have to go through pain and loss. But that's the price of joy." It's interesting how closely that resembles WandaVision's famous line about love and grief. At a time when many of us are hungry for words of comfort, it's kind of nice that TV has our backs.
  • You know, I joked about Dan deserving the Good Place after the penultimate episode, and then there's Mr. Said Out Bitch asking Lucifer what the fork he's talking about. VINDICATION!
  • So that's season 5, friends! What an outstanding ride, from top to bottom. And now the show has one more season to tie up all these loose ends. What does a world run by Lucifer look like? Can he rescue Dan? How does Chloe fit in? Will Amenadiel do well at the police academy? Is Ella going to call Carol? And most importantly, will Lucifer really get rid of hangovers? I'll see you next season for answers to these and many more pressing questions!

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