The Week in 'Wives: A RHOP road trip, a RHONY finale, and a RHOBH showdown
Happy Labor Day Weekend, Housewives faithful! Good thing we have an extra day to recover from this past week of Bravo drama because I don't expect the sound of Lisa Rinna waving around a table-service bell to stop ringing through my ears for at least another 72 hours. Our Real Housewives of Beverly Hills got tense this week when Kathy hosted an absolutely exquisite dinner party that everyone else ruined with the usual chaotic arguments. Over on The Real Housewives of Potomac, we were taken on a trip within the Williamsburg trip, and Karen won both a dance contest and a key to Surry County. Finally, after a tough pandemic-era season, The Real Housewives of New York City aired its heartwarming finale. Body jewels for everyone! Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Trading places, RHONY
"I'm going to, like, Marlon Brando this f---ing identity swap dinner," Leah promises, and everyone delivers. Sonja piles on labels as Bershan — whose name she still pronounces à la française — while Bershan tells everyone that her faux fur is Sonja by Sonja Morgan, available at Century 21 at a very reasonable price point. Eboni suits up in Jovani and speaks exclusively into a microphone, while a lawyerly Luann introduces herself by Eboni's full name at all times. But the most winning pair has to be Leah as Ramona, hooked up to a fake pinot grigio/plasma IV and taunting the bartender, and Ramona as Leah, chewing gum loudly and shouting about genitalia. It's funny to see them all roasting each other, but the evening came to a sweet, even cathartic conclusion when they all answered prompts in character at the dinner table. Some were better than others — Eboni having to say whether Luann is a triple threat was a minefield — but the good ones, like Leah saying how Ramona ought to be written about, illustrated how much the group really has connected and grown to care about each other. The season has not been without controversy — between the ladies in the moment and among fans upon airing — but as far as endings go, this was a lovely one.
LOW POINT: Or nothing, RHOBH
First things first: Kathy Hilton knows how to throw a dinner party. I don't think her intention was to embarrass the other ladies, but suddenly all of their attempts at hosting look like little girls putting on all the jewelry out of Pretty Pretty Princess and serving air in plastic teacups to stuffed animals. Kathy has Baccarat candlesticks; she has caviar pie; she has Patrick the elegant French butler. None of that is enough, however, to inspire the 'wives to put their drama on pause and sip their fancy vodka in peace. The long-awaited Erika vs. Sutton showdown is here — of "or what? Or what?" fame — and it's just as demoralizing as we might have expected. Kyle betrays Sutton and Crystal makes an inapt #MeToo comparison; Lisa remains inappropriately upbeat and Garcelle remains one of the only people in all of L.A. county with any integrity. But Erika takes center stage, allowing tears to stream down her unmoving cheeks while she mutters half-threats like a mafioso about how, when this is all behind her, she will remember who was with her and who was against her. She neglects to also acknowledge that she probably will not have any money or power when this is behind her. "Why are you all doing this to me?" she says through tears, evidently expecting blind support at all times. "Look at me. Look at my f---ing life." We see your life, Erika. We see you eating caviar pie.
WILDEST MOMENT: Surreal in Surry, RHOP
Williamsburg already felt like an alternate reality, but this week's interlude felt like yet another layer to that, which was wild in an existential sense. After last week's explosive scene between Wendy and Gizelle, the tension in the air was thick, but nobody had the time or energy to pick it back up, so we had to move hazily through a bunch of other things as if Wendy didn't just absolutely shatter the fourth wall, calling out the shady move of needlessly bringing something ugly before the cameras. No, we had to move along with a halfhearted dance-off, which our friends the Bravo editors did their best to liven up with some ironic effects; we had a tennis game where Candiace proved that her serving skills are limited to drama, looks, and one-liners; and most importantly, we had Karen's swearing-in as Ambassador to Surry County. Ray follows up her speech by making her also announce that… LaDame is going to expand into candles and aromatherapy? Anyway, all of this is just a wacky SoVA detour before we can get back to the actual conflict raging among the cast. Mia plants a false "weak bitch" seed and Candiace threatens to "put my boob into someone's glass" should things get too heated, so we're right back on track for next week.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Karen, RHOP
NEW GIRL GANG ALERT: The first cast photo for Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip is here!
TREND REPORT: Did RHOP's Karen and RHONY's Bershan wear the same neon-orange athleisure set this week?
DELUSION OF THE WEEK: Dorit calling PK a "visionary" on RHOBH. This week, he had the inspired idea to name a pearl-covered dress "The Pearl."
IN THE STARS: The RHONY cast discussing their sexual energy is a lesson in astrology, so pay attention: "Sensual" Luann is a classic Taurus; Ramona recalling her youthful desires and volunteering "I love all positions" is real Scorpio passion; and Sagittarius Sonja wants "a guy who changes it up." Maybe because they're younger, Eboni and Leah mostly listened to their castmates' wisdom; maybe because they're Virgos, they were a bit more guarded when things got personal. (Everyone took their tops off, though. The whole zodiac loves to take their tops off.)
REST IN PEACE: Gregg Leakes, beloved RHOA househusband. Sending love to NeNe.