The Week in 'Wives: RHOP jabs, RHONY outtakes, and RHOBH threats (not promises)
Right now is the calm before the storm, Housewives faithful. We may have felt like we were going through a lot by just sticking with Erika's drama on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all this time, but do you realize that we are about to be juggling Girardi-gate alongside the Jen Shah Scandal of 2021? Things are about to get wild in here! So I hope you enjoyed this week's Real Housewives of New York City wacky bloopers episode, because it's all the reprieve we'll be getting before basically our second semester of law school à la Bravo begins. This week, RHOBH picked up where the last episode left off, with Erika hissing at Sutton not to talk about her, which is an outrageous thing to suggest, because the point of being a reality star is to be talked about. RHONY treated us to some fourth wall breaks that weren't allowed in the normal season, and The Real Housewives of Potomac saw the aftermath of the dramatic Williamsburg weekend — including the reignition of an old feud. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: True colors, RHOBH
Not to break the fourth wall of EW.com, but I almost listed this item as the low point of the week, titled "Disappointments." That's just something to keep in mind as we continue to navigate this season fixated on the art of spin. Anyway, the Girardi divorce/embezzlement scandal continues to make waves, as it's been doing for months now, and while some of our Californians disappoint under pressure, the whole series deepens as everyone is forced to show who they are. It's wildly compelling TV. Coming out on top are Garcelle, whose character has not wavered for so much as half a second this season, and Sutton, who is one of the only people choosing to look the situation in the eye and ask questions about it. In contrast, Kyle is not willing to even read a single news article in its entirety, nor bring about any meaningful conversation except through the extremely stale tactic of yelling "tell the truth" at someone who has not lied once. Also disappointing is Lisa, making a fool of herself in every scene she's got this week; Crystal, who endorses Erika's choice to repeatedly make some icky threat that she rebrands as a "promise;" and, of course, Erika herself. She's in an undeniably terrible position, but she's making it worse by acting alternately like a victim or a thug or an underwear brand ambassador who DGAF, and it continues to be a genuine shame. One year ago, I never would have believed this would be who she becomes under these circumstances, but here we are. It's disappointing, but it's also why we stick with these shows for so long. There's not a 10-plus-season network drama on earth that can show you so much about real human nature.
LOW POINT: Game time, RHONY
This week on The Real Housewives of New York City, we got… outtakes? Some of them were sort of fun — there's no denying the pleasures of watching Avery tell her mom on the phone that she doesn't care about Ramona's realtor exam, only for Ramona to reply that she's filming right now — but I really could have done without the lengthy sequence of Sonja talking about poop (her own and her dog's). This season was contentious, and while it's pleasant to see everyone having fun and getting tattoos and sitting for extra confessionals so they can read aloud interactive prompts for the audience (???), what we want to see is a reunion where they discuss the word "angry," performative activism, censoring politics, and Black Shabbat. This felt like a practice exercise for our friends the Bravo editing room interns, and I wish them all the best (sadly, this episode extinguished any last glimmer of hope I had for Sonja's townhouse interns), but it's not the RHONY we need right now.
WILDEST MOMENT: A birthday surprise, RHOP
This was bound to happen. Candiace went far too long in the season without hurling highly creative if unreasonably vicious insults at her castmates. But our insult-Shakespeare of the Mid-Atlantic was back this week, fully pissed off that needless drama had gone down on her Williamsburg trip (and carrying some extra stress due to the swift implosion of her Chris-as-"husbanger" arrangement), and she had some strong words for… Ashley? Due to Ashley having shown up in the 'burg, introduced the subject of Eddie's alleged infidelity, and then made her exit, pursued by a Candiace. It was a messy approach to the situation, but we all know that Gizelle was the one who truly pushed for a conversation of the rumors. Still, Candiace's patience for Ashley is particularly thin (or if you believe her tagline, it's none), and she wastes no time in calling Mrs. Darby — who is breastfeeding — a "filthy milkmaid" with a "big-ass forehead," all of which felt quite strong and quite off topic. But give her some time to refine her craft again. She just needs to exercise that cruel wordsmithery muscle, methinks.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Garcelle, RHOBH, once again! No challengers!
I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING: Mia meeting with her mother on RHOP and having an honest conversation about some of the traumas of her childhood was raw and affecting — but, I sincerely hope, healing for them both.
CAUSE FOR CONCERN: The eating habits of Sonja Morgan, undeterred by mold, ants, or ancient expiration dates. (RHONY)
SURPRISE HERO: PK? Delivering absolute facts!? (RHOBH)