The Week in 'Wives: A RHOP food fight, RHOSLC casino night, and RHOBH is alright
Calm down, Bravoholics — it's not Erika's turn in the reunion hot seat just yet. Before this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has its epic four-part conclusion, we've got a whole week of drama to get through. Those SoCal queens celebrated the end of the season with a Chinese New Year party where they addressed all of their tensions — sort of. Up in Salt Lake City, our Utah 'wives broke out their sparkliest Bond girl wear for a casino night, where Lisa was accused of some serious reality-TV sabotage. And finally, The Real Housewives of Potomac took off on a vacation that promptly went awry, despite hostess Wendy's declared commitment to "Good Vibes Only." Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Poker faces, RHOSLC
What a party this casino night was. I can't believe I'm writing this, but it might even top the casino night where Lizzie McGuire pulled a heist to get 11 photos of herself into the Hillridge Junior High yearbook, and I'm not kidding. Lisa's friend (well, maybe not anymore)-slash-Whitney's cousin Angie hosts a fundraiser packed to the gills with gambling and alcohol "two blocks away from Brigham Young University!" Jen marvels. The party is glamorous and expensive! Probably even more expensive than it looks, too, considering Angie must have scrambled to track down some hors d'oeuvres after her original caterers canceled last minute — allegedly due to the interference of Lisa, who does not approve of Angie getting close to her fellow Mormon pioneer descendant Whitney. Have you ever heard such a delicious Housewives conflict in your life?!
LOW POINT: New Year blues, RHOBH
After a historic season of Beverly Hills drama, this week's finale felt like a bit of a letdown. Crystal hosted the obligatory end-of-season party, and it was impeccable: an elegant Chinese New Year bash celebrating the Year of the Ox, hosted at the Kill Bill restaurant and for which she wore an earth-shatteringly beautiful gold dress by a Chinese designer that made her look like actual royalty. Despite the good bones of the event, however, the action was lackluster. Garcelle asked Lisa to reach out to Denise; Sutton sort of tried to smooth things over with Erika, who dropped last week's friendliness as abruptly as she picked it up; and Kyle continued to throw Sutton under the bus for I know not what reason. It was all fine, and in a more low-key season, it never would have registered as disappointing. But who are we kidding? At this point, we're just holding our breath for the four-part reunion.
WILDEST MOMENT: Lettuce fight! RHOP
The Potomac 'wives took the season's first couples' vacation this week, and it went swiftly off the rails before everyone had even knocked back their opening vodka shot. Neither Candiace nor Mia was over their tiff from the Reasonably Shady party, and continued to fight over who is allowed to say what about and/or to who else's mothers, which further devolved into a new discourse about "broke bitches" being "low-budget," etc. Meanwhile, the husbands (apart from Michael, Juan, and Ray, who will be joining later) hung out, trying to be chill — with the notable exception of Mia's husband G, a new addition to the group who made a dramatic shift into what I must assume is his vacation mode, for which nobody (myself included) was prepared. If tensions weren't running high enough, his uncomfortable sex jokes make the atmosphere all the more fraught. It all led to the unforgettable conclusion of Candiace and Mia challenging each other across a kitchen island. "You started with me and you need to learn how to finish," Candiace cried, flicking a piece of lettuce at her adversary… to which Mia responded by flinging a full handful of salad across the room. This is mere moments after room assignments! The trip has only just begun!
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Crystal, RHOBH
VANDERLETDOWN OF THE WEEK: Lala "did everything I possibly could" to make her book of essays a New York Times best-seller. And yet… (VPR)
REST IN PEACE: Coco Singer, a true RHONY OG.
THREE TIMES MAKES A TREND: Candiace is not about to stop calling out Mia's "big-ass feet," is she? (RHOP)
BEFORE YOU SWIPE RIGHT: "It's really important when you're from Utah to do your genealogy, to make sure you're not dating your second cousin." —Whitney, RHOSLC
CRUCIAL REAPPEARANCE: Is that Elliot Mintz as Kathy's Chinese New Year date?! Elliot Mintz who did not leave the table at Dorit's "coke in the bathroom" (allegedly) party?!!?! (RHOBH)