The Week in 'Wives: RHOSLC heats up, RHOBH plays nice, and RHOP delivers
Let's get right to the good stuff, Bravoholics: This week's episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac was a masterpiece, plain and simple. Every single thread woven into the fabric of this exquisite season was picked up and pushed forward at Gizelle and Robyn's podcast party, where they invented a Housewives game for the ages. But that's not the only treat we got this week! Over on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies' Del Mar trip continued with some wine and some waves — and a whole new side of Erika. And our Salt Lake City sophomores registered their heights and weights with Jen to go ice fishing, where the drama was in greater supply than the trout. Also, Vanderpump Rules is back! So without further ado, here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Vaxxed out, RHOP
I thought Karen getting interrupted by a mime was one of the funniest things I'd seen in 15 years of watching the 'wives, but that's only because I had not yet witnessed her fresh off her second dose of the COVID vaccine as interpreted by our visionary friends the Bravo editors, who deserve an Emmy for this week's entire episode.
"I'm fading, quickly," Karen admits, suffering her post-vaxx haze at Gizelle and Robyn's "Reasonably Shady" party. We see the high drama going down through her perspective, in oversaturated bursts of slow-motion and the still-under-construction "Hotel Gizelle" and its long narrow driveway rendered in spooky muted tones. "The whole house looks like it could come to life and eat you up," Karen says in her confessional. The episode ending with the unexpected payoff of the weeks-long side plot of Grace's doomed attempts at driving was the icing on the cake. Television Academy, what more do you need?!
LOW POINT: The two faces of Erika, RHOBH
On the one hand, I guess it's a relief that the tension between Erika and Sutton basically seems to have lifted. On the other, though, there's… Erika. After all that we've seen from her this season, I just can't read her sudden switch to apparent kindness as a good thing — even before she confirms, in her confessionals, that she has no interest in working things out and also, oh yeah, that "I hate Sutton." Even before that, I read it only as a particularly nasty power move: She's reminding everyone that she, Erika, has control over the temperature among the ladies. She's turning on the warmth, but she can flip the switch to ice whenever she wants, so they'd better stay in line and keep sucking up. (Speaking of sucking up: Lisa's obsequiousness towards Erika would be disgusting even if we didn't remember her unwarranted viciousness towards Denise. But we do! So it's really a whole new low!) The silver lining? At least this episode is clear, tidy proof that Erika does, in fact, lie.
WILDEST MOMENT: Fishing for excuses, RHOSLC
We're only three episodes into this season of Salt Lake City, but Jen's debate tactics are already wearing very thin. (Step one: Deny. Step two: "But what about me?") Just to clarify, having a social media manager doesn't absolve a celebrity of personal responsibility for the behavior of their verified accounts, and everyone knows this. Anyway, we have to listen to Jen play the victim again, which is tiresome, but it's worth it to see Meredith storm across a frozen pond to declare that she "can't listen to the projecting, deflecting, and lying anymore" — all while the ice fishermen reanimate every few minutes to yell "Trout! Trout! Trout!" prompting everyone to race across the blinding landscape towards fishing holes we can't even see to… I guess fish? Does anyone know how that works? It's a moment, is all I'm saying. And the Jen/Meredith conflict is only going to grow from here.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Karen, RHOP
VANDERDEBATE OF THE WEEK: We're back at TomTom! We're back at SUR! We're hopefully never going to be back at any place called "Schwartz and Sandy's"! (Sorry, Tom.) (VPR)
THE CROSSOVER WE NEED: A round of "Reasonably Shady" regarding Garcelle's "never have I ever stolen anything." The answer is reasonable! Garcelle is a hero! (RHOP x RHOBH)
REAL HOUSEKID OF THE WEEK: Jennie's iconic 9-year-old budding scientist daughter Karlyn. (RHOSLC)
I GASPED: "This man's done a lot for a lot of people. People can step up." — Erika re: Tom RHOBH)