The Week in 'Wives: RHOC goes to the desert, RHOP and RHOSLC go downhill
The best, worst, and wildest moments from this week on The Real Housewives.
This week brought three lively hours of Housewives for the Bravo faithful, starting with the continuation of the Potomac cast’s trip to Portugal (no, Karen, not Portland), where they tobogganed right into a pile of their own pent-up frustrations. Later in the week, the ladies of the OC road-tripped (with Shane in tow) to Palm Springs, where Braunwyn renewed her vows and Shannon picked a fight about healthy beverages with Kelly. Finally, our new girls in Salt Lake City hit the slopes in their Chanel skiwear (because it doesn’t give wedgies), before a dinner where Mary’s wide-eyed reactions spoke for all of us. Read on for this Week in ‘Wives!
HIGH POINT: The emancipation of Whitney, RHOSLC
We’ve only known Whitney Rose as a Housewife for one week, but every time she takes the screen she defies our expectations. True, her tagline is deeply awkward — "This rose isn't scared to handle a little prick" — but apart from that, this Real Housewives of Salt Lake City episode saw the tiny-voiced ex-Mormon stand up to the intimidating Lisa and stand up for her painkiller-addicted father, both of which made us love her all the more. Her unlikely defiance was summed up in the moment of her dancing on her stripper pole, which she explained in a confessional: “I know that some might think, wow, a born-and-raised Mormon girl has a stripper pole. Well, exactly! I was raised in suppression my whole life! What do you expect?” From now on, the unexpected.
LOW POINT: Tequila shopping, RHOC
Braunwyn is an alcoholic. Tequila is her trigger. She is throwing her own vow renewal in Palm Springs, Calif., where she will be serving a variety of alcoholic beverages that are not tequila. Why are Shannon and Kelly acting like this is a personal attack? Have they never experimented with vodka? Can they not sip on rosé? Or if nothing but tequila will do, why not just go crazy and stick to water? This is Braunwyn’s party, and her mother is already doing enough to make her feel bad. There is no need to stop off for sneaky Casamigos like the world is ending — but then, maybe they were already in the spirit for buying toilet paper and cleaning wipes like the world is ending. That much we can actually kind of relate to.
WILDEST MOMENT: Baggage claim, RHOP
It was an incredible week in throwbacks for these Marylanders in Madeira, with not only welcome references to Karen’s Night of Fireball and Ashley’s Torn Butthole, but also layers upon layers of years-old, long-held tensions coming into play all at once. Specifically, as Candiace says she would like to become a mother, Ashley can’t resist bringing back up Candiace’s treatment of her when she was trying to conceive, but Robyn can’t really let that slide because of the way Ashley had behaved toward her before that. Meanwhile, Ashley has been reflecting on Candiace’s many sins since Monique asked her to provide a statement for her case against Candiace (and presumably Ashley agreed in part because, as Gizelle points out, Monique probably sat on some footage of Michael groping the cameraman in her basement), all of which culminates in revisiting this fond memory, helpfully annotated by our friends the Bravo editors:
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Braunwyn, RHOC
MOST VALUABLE UNSEEN PLAYER: Casamigos, coveted by both RHOSLC’s Whitney and RHOC’s entire cast
CRINGIEST MOMENT: Braunwyn’s son Jacob’s attempt at humor during her vow renewal, RHOC
MOST CONTROVERSIAL COMMENT: 👍, RHOSLC
MOST FABULOUS EXIT: RHOP’s Karen sauntering away from a scolding from Gizelle, who yells after her, “You can swish your little boom-boom all you want!”
MULTITASKER OF THE WEEK: RHOSLC’s Lisa, for not only simultaneously navigating feuds with both Whitney (who wants nothing to do with rumors about being a swinger, hard G) and Heather (who was never a good-time girl, but don’t we all wish we were?), but also dropping solid gold quotes throughout, including but not limited to “If I give you a Chanel necklace and you choke on it, that’s your problem, not mine,” and “I don’t care enough to judge you,” the latter of which brings to mind another icon of the same franchise — and the same name:
Sign up for Entertainment Weekly's free daily newsletter to get breaking TV news, exclusive first looks, recaps, reviews, interviews with your favorite stars, and more.