The Week in 'Wives: All eyes on RHOBH
The best, worst, and wildest moments from this week on The Real Housewives.
Bonjour, mes amis. This week in 'wives was even lighter than the appetizer menu at a Beverly Hills cocktail party, presumably because our friends at Bravo knew we'd all be busy and anxious watching the coverage of another California blonde, the true queen of every week, Miss Britney Jean Spears. They really think of everything. We did have one hour of respite from that news cycle, though, in the form of a game-changing episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, wherein Erika finally reunited with her friends and shared the story of how she left Tom, whose presence hung heavy over the whole episode. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Cute as a dumpling (RHOBH)
Crystal's dumpling-making party passes the ultimate test of all dumpling-making parties, which is that the dumplings look delicious - Kyle and Garcelle literally cannot stop eating them - and as a bonus, everyone gets a personalized "cute as a dumpling" apron. Due to these successes alone, the party is a triumph. Additionally, Rob Minkoff wins heroic Househusband of the week, going on emergency grocery runs and gallantly greeting everyone at the door, and everyone is thrilled to hear about how lit Erika is thanks to the THC-laced "intimate oil" that Kyle gifted her. The event does include more than one awkward confrontation, the most tiresome of which is the return of the Sutton-Crystal drama, but it still felt looser and more intimate than, for example, the brunch that started the episode - probably because everyone had made it through that brunch together, and were bonded by what they now knew.
LOW POINT: Tom Girardi, Esq. (RHOBH)
My strongest memories of Tom Girardi's RHOBH appearances were, of course, his most recent - chiefly that one time he charmed the group with a story about meeting John Wayne, the night that Erika and Lisa wore the same pink dress - but Erika's account of their crumbling relationship, as well as a few key throwback clips, lined up more with the image of a killer lawyer rather than gentle provider. In one confessional, Erika remembered going to a dinner where, after apologizing for her lateness due to traffic, one of Tom's associates said, "Well, if you were married to a better man, traffic would be no problem." That's a weird thing to say, but even darker was Tom's reply: "Well, if you think you can afford her, you can have her." Her story of how she left him - carefully, over the course of one day after a month of planning, then filing for divorce the next morning - sounded like a grim escape, and she paints a vivid picture of a scary situation. Complicating the whole narrative, however, is what we, the audience, have already learned about how bad Tom really could be - and the still-unanswered question of Erika's involvement.
WILDEST MOMENT: It's a good day! (RHOBH)
Last week's wildest moment was the preamble to Sutton's Paris-themed brunch, and this week's is… the preface to Sutton's Paris-themed brunch. After Erika arrives, everyone is beyond thrilled to see her. And I mean, I live in Los Angeles, okay? I am familiar with the SoCal custom of screaming with glee and open-mouthed laughing every time you see someone you vaguely know in a casual setting. But this was next-level. We were in a whole new reality. There is a whole chorus of "Champagne!" the second she enters. There are multiple cries, from multiple people, of "It's a good day!" Crystal is so into this dress Erika is wearing. Lisa has never seen such a gorgeous table setting in her life. Kyle is feeling free as a breeze. And Kathy Hilton provided detailed instructions regarding how the caviar should be served, so we're really on a roll here, ladies. This lasts for five whole minutes of the episode. It all comes to a screeching halt, however, when Erika shares that she got a new Range Rover - which brings us, finally, to the elephant in the room.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Erika, RHOBH… at least for now, for getting away.
PRIORITIES, PLEASE: "I have to have the Martinique wallpaper" - Erika
HOW CAN I CONTACT: Damona, Garcelle's immediately iconic dating coach/stealth therapist, whose role in kicking off Garcelle's romantic journey I fully support.
NEW ON DUOLINGO: Become fluent in Kathy Hilton! Then you can… you see what I'm saying? Because… You know what I mean.
YIKES: "Look, is it great to be able to wear this jacket? Is it great to be able to live in a big house? Is it great to have a Lambo? Is it great to be able to do all this s---? Yes - but at what human cost?" - Erika, the extent of whose knowledge of the alleged extremely human cost of those things remains mysterious, at least for now.