The Week in 'Wives: RHONY in Harlem and RHOBH at home
We earned this holiday weekend, Bravoholics. A stressful week in the Housewives universe began with The Real Housewives of New York City gathering in Harlem, where Eboni tried to expand the ladies' horizons; later, she would discover that there's no teaching Ramona Singer, no matter how true or righteous the lesson. Next, on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we saw more of post-divorce Erika, this time admitting she was angry Tom never went to see her on Broadway, and more of the Sutton–Crystal conflict, despite nobody wanting to hear it anymore. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: The Real Housekids of Beverly Hills, RHOBH
This week in sunny SoCal proved that L.A. truly is the city of angels, as we were treated to a series of charming appearances from a whole host of Housewives offspring. First up are Crystal's kids Zoe (5) and Max (8), who make guest appearances during her kickboxing lesson to refuse kickboxing and therefore showering (Zoe) and to throw a few punches (Max). Next, we hear from Garcelle's 13-year-old twins Jax and Jaid, mourning the loss of their goldfish (of course it was the Kyle fish). When Garcelle asks them what they'd think of her getting married again, Jaid rejects the idea with the foolproof logic of "You love me. You don't need to love anyone else," which yields the unintended result of his mother hugging him. Teenagers! Then we visit Kyle's house, where Portia, anxious over her impending bat mitzvah, threatens to "literally dropkick" her father before absolutely losing it in a heartbreaking display of sisterly love for Sophia, returning home from college. Finally, we check in with Lisa, who expresses concern about her daughter Amelia's choice to… Actually, let's just end it right there.
LOW POINT: Ramona x Eboni, RHONY
Ramona and Eboni's tête-à-tête at the end of this week's RHONY easily qualifies for the wildest moment of the week, but it more urgently claims the low point spot for Ramona's utter failure to acknowledge reality. She uses every move in her playbook to evade a perfectly civilized conversation about the actual only news of the moment, and it is a startling display of irrelevance. Can we please drop this ancient idea that the very existence of politics is some dirty thing that should not be acknowledged in polite company, like bowel movements (a topic Ramona has touched on more than once on this show)? It is factually correct that Kamala Harris is the first female UU.S. vice president, and if you don't want to admit that that is a nice milestone to simply exist, maybe question what kind of people you're scared of offending. It is objectively true that America is divided, and it was maddening and false that Ramona would try to claim that the prolonged wait for a result had nothing to do with a close race indicating a divided nation, but only these mail-in ballots out here making trouble. It's a miracle I didn't throw my laptop out the window after even just typing that. Don't get me started on "I'm not gaslighting you! You're gaslighting me!"
WILDEST MOMENT: Welcome to Harlem, RHONY
This is admittedly not as wild as Ramona refusing to confirm that America has never had a female vice president by deflecting with a rant about a necklace that represents her and Avery (?), but the "Night in Harlem with Eboni K. Williams" does have an air of the surreal about it. From the top, it is slightly confusing that the ladies talk about Harlem like it's a foreign country; is Harlem not geographically closer to the Upper East Side than the Hamptons are? When they brave the stiletto-unfriendly steps to enter an elegant speakeasy in this previously unexplored region, Sonja is thrilled to see Eboni's headlights on display and Ramona, conscious of optics for the 'gram, insists that everyone rearrange for the group photo so that they look more racially integrated (but not alternating, that's way too obvious). When everyone finally sits for dinner, Eboni delivers a surprise lesson about various icons of the Harlem Renaissance, using name-card visual aids in an admirable effort to retain the ladies' attention the best way she knows how — by making it about them. A few of her students lose patience over the course of the presentation anyway, but hey: Eboni K. Williams just spent five minutes on national television celebrating James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston, Duke Ellington… Maybe this was never just about Ramona appreciating Nella Larsen. Maybe Eboni had her eye on a bigger prize all along.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Eboni, RHONY
TO CLARIFY: No, Sutton was not being creepy when she walked into Crystal's room. But yes, "violation" is still an appropriate word here. No, it does not necessarily constitute an attack on Sutton's character. And yes, Crystal is entitled to her feelings, though she did exaggerate. Please, can this whole conversation just be over now. (RHOBH)
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "Do you have a coat closet for my Blackness, Ramona?" — Eboni, RHONY
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ART, BUT: I know… that Dorit definitely did commission a portrait of herself! Can absolutely confirm! (RHOBH)
CONGRATS: To the tourist who scored a RHOBH cameo by yelling at Erika from a Hollywood tour bus "don't divorce your husband!" I know how this feels — I once appeared in the background of a Vanderpump Rules episode when I went to SUR at happy hour. You shall carry the honor with you forever, comrade.
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