The best, worst, and wildest moments from this week on ‘The Real Housewives.’

By Mary Sollosi
December 12, 2020 at 03:11 PM EST
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Credit: CHAD KIRKLAND/Bravo

I hope you had your green juice this week, Bravoholics, because there was a lot to keep up with in the Housewives universe. That’s right: We entered a period of four franchises running at once, and it was as invigorating as when Mercury goes direct after a long, hard retrograde. So what did the week look like? The Real Housewives of Potomac arrived at its season’s end with a long-awaited proposal and a whole new low from Michael Darby, which is saying something. The Real Housewives of Atlanta reentered the mix, beginning mid-pandemic, mid-protests, mid-planning-a-wedding-that-should-have-been-postponed. The Real Housewives of Orange County started settling into quarantine, and The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City refused to settle an ongoing dispute. Who’s ready for the best, worst, and wildest from this week in ‘wives?

HIGH POINT: RHOA is back!

What a pleasure it was to return to the Southeast — including a field trip to Kentucky, for a powerful look at Porsha’s activism — for the premiere of RHOA’s 13th season. Aside from Porsha’s new sense of purpose, the episode checked in with Kandi reflecting on her past; Cynthia trying to make the case that she still needs a wedding, even when a deadly disease is sweeping across the planet; and most affectingly, Kenya trying to figure out how to proceed with her marriage, in part through a meeting with her wonderfully empathetic divorce lawyer. Georgia’s been on our mind for months now — why not keep it there?

LOW POINT: Convenience stores and hospitals, RHOSLC

Well, yikes, Mary M. Cosby. In a week where we proudly watched not only Porsha but also our Orange County friends march for justice in support of Black lives, Mary actually confirmed that she once told Jen that if she sees Black people standing outside a 7-Eleven, she will go to a different 7-Eleven. Saying that she naturally equates convenience stores with violence was not a valid explanation, nor was it helpful to bring hospitals back into the mix as another personal off-limits zone. The conflict between Mary and Jen, muddier than ever, remains unresolved. And despite Valter’s surely excellent menu, the Met Gala (?) luncheon left a terrible taste in our mouths, even if Mary did try to lighten things up by… making sure to reclaim the Louis Vuitton AirPods at Jen’s table setting.

WILDEST MOMENT: Robyn’s Christmas party, RHOP

What a finale! Robyn threw our contractually obligated end-of-season party this year, a holiday soirée full of twists. Everyone (except Monique!) came together just in time (except for Karen, who was late!) to witness Juan finally propose to Robyn — despite Michael Darby evidently willing him not to. Speaking of Michael Darby: What on earth was that? He finished out the season by picking a fight with Chris Bassett, repeating taunts of “you’re going to jail!” and then generally being a creep to the production staff. While poor mortified Ashley wandered after him, the rest of the 'wives tear up the dance floor. It was chaos. I can't wait for the reunion.

👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Robyn, RHOP

BEST DRESSED: Porsha, RHOA. I have not stopped thinking about her flawless beaded-netting glistening-mermaid matching-headband look. It is truly unimpeachable confessional fashion, and I can’t wait for a whole season of glimpses of it. See also: her Louis Vuitton face mask.

MOST RESOURCEFUL: RHOC’s Gina with the Smart & Final hookup, hiding toilet paper on her front porch during early quarantine’s TP shortage

MOST CRUCIAL MILLENNIAL REPRESENTATION: RHOSLC’s Whitney “I came for the pasta” Rose proudly speaking for our much-maligned generation: “I am 30, and you’re all old as f--- and acting like you’re 10.”

SADDEST REAL HOUSE-POET:  Braunwyn, RHOC, giving voice to quarantine: “I feel trapped in my house / I feel trapped in my marriage / I feel trapped.” It was a relief to watch with the knowledge that, in a few short months, she’d feel at least a little bit freer.

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