The best, worst, and wildest moments from this week on ‘The Real Housewives.’
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Whew! We got a break this week, Bravoholics! We got a whole episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where the wildest argument was about something other than Erika's legal troubles! Don't get me wrong, we still got the instantly iconic moment of Sutton laughing in Erika's face after Erika tried to intimidate her, but our focus was on Dorit, fabricating completely absurd drama with Garcelle, who continues to be a season MVP. Meanwhile, on The Real Housewives of Potomac, we were treated to another fight that was actively picked by our beloved Bravolebrities, when Gizelle and Ashley forced some unverified blog gossip into the conversation and incurred the wrath of Wendy, who broke the fourth wall right down. Finally, our Real Housewives of New York City had a pleasant return to the Hamptons, where Ramona hosts a Galentine's gathering and Harry Dubin makes a surprise appearance, as he is wont to do. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!

HIGH POINT: Pajama party, RHONY

This season of RHONY is nearing its end, so this week, we head back to where it started: Ramona's Hamptons house. To refresh, the last time we were here, Leah and Eboni's grandmothers were both dying, Luann was swooning over Garth, Sonja was feeling underappreciated, and Eboni was called both "angry" and "articulate" in the same day. Nowhere to go but up, and up indeed we go! It's Galentine's Day, and Ramona buys the whole group matching pajamas that Eboni confirms are "very cheap" and "very ugly," but sometimes friendship means ugly pajamas, so everyone dutifully suits up (Luann only complying because everyone is also given a feather boa). Sonja and Luann make up after Sonja talked s--- without realizing she hadn't turned off speaker phone, Eboni pitches a next-season trip to New Orleans, and Leah confesses that she's looking for a sugar daddy, because it's such an indignity to have paid for one's own boobs. Everyone approves. Oh, game time! It's pin the kiss on Harry Dubin! This would typically qualify for low point of the week, just based on the premise, but what can I say? I'm feeling the Galentine love. Eboni loses and has to actually plant one right on the disconcertingly large Harry Dubin poster. Luann takes a photo on Ramona's phone, only to be interrupted by an incoming call from… Harry Dubin. Somehow, it only feels like confirmation that all is right with RHONY.

LOW POINT: Belaboring the point, RHOBH

First things first: it is next-level delusional that Dorit thinks she can get away with calling Garcelle a bully and, perhaps even more ridiculous, a coward. The "jabs" she's talking about, all of which Garcelle remembers and admits to, because they were all just normal and straightforward interactions, are laughable as evidence that she, ~child of the world~ Dorit, is some kind of victim here. (It also seems pretty likely that Dorit just finally realized how bad it was when she said she teaches her children acceptance by hiring "multicultural" workers in her home and is actually just mad at Garcelle for delicately following up on that statement. Notably, that particular "jab" does not come up in this conversation.) The scene of their confrontation — which takes place surrounded by kiss-shaped pillows at the Crystal-hosted Rinna Beauty launch party — is partially just silly, because Dorit makes an idiot of herself by imploring Garcelle to be direct, all while rattling off a list of anecdotes about times when Garcelle was direct. It's horrible though, to see how smug she gets when she thinks she's won ("Are you going? Is that the easy way, or do you want to talk it out?"), and her mocking Garcelle at the end of the argument is shockingly uncalled-for. Worst of all, though, has to be when Garcelle, clearly exhausted by this total bulls---, admits that she sometimes doesn't really feel like a part of this group. I won't insult your intelligence by repeating Dorit's reply, but in conclusion: How dare she.  

WILDEST MOMENT: These motherf---ing cameras, RHOP

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first fourth wall break of the season! And what a moment it was. The Potomac ladies' chaotic trip to Colonial Williamsburg continues with water aerobics and a whiskey tasting. Standard, standard. But when Ashley pops in for a few hours, the whole trip explodes. Gizelle plants the seed with Ashley to bring up Eddie's cheating rumors (which they both agree, they're sure, are unfounded), so Ashley does it, prompting Wendy to absolutely lose it to the whole group and the whiskey guy, but mostly to Gizelle. "I'm putting your ass on notice," she warns. "Because what you're not going to do, let's be very clear, is you're not going to play with my husband's name." Gizelle remains nonplussed throughout as Wendy rages: "F--- these motherf---ing cameras!" It seems to come out of nowhere, but as longtime 'wives-watchers, we know: There are blog posts out there about everyone's husbands, most of which come and go, ignored by the cast. It's intentional when someone brings up this kind of rumor on-camera, and Gizelle was determined to do it. "I knew [about] Jamal before I came on this f---ing show," Wendy continues, calling out both the Bravo in the room and Gizelle's own highly public failed relationship. "I got facts. You see the difference? Tread lightly." And with that… Ashley's work here is done. She grabs her milk from the fridge and heads out.

👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Garcelle (who isn't a bully), RHOBH

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Credit: Bravo

FURTHER READING: If you happened to watch the expanded "Never Before Scene" rerun of last week's RHOBH, you would have heard some helpful backstory in the bonus-footage version of the pre-Christmas summit: Sutton, who is familiar with the ins and outs of rich-people divorce, had previously (back when this was just a divorce) offered Erika a loan should she need it. Had Erika taken her up on it, "it would have put me in a very bad jam," Sutton reflects now, knowing how the situation has evolved. So it's not just a "small-town" concern about her reputation.

CHECK THE CALENDAR: On both the RHOBH and RHONY timelines, this week's episode glossed right past Jan. 6. I certainly have no wish to relive the storming of the Capitol, but after so many of the other big events of the last year have been addressed across the franchise, I was surprised that that disturbing day or its aftermath didn't make it on either show (also, Leah told me a few months ago that RHONY filmed at the time).

OH HONEY: "I wasn't a stripper. I was an entertainer at a 5-star restaurant where we served steak and lobster." — RHOP's Mia, of whom we already have actual footage saying she was a stripper, with which there's nothing wrong anyway!

EAT THE RICH: Disappointed in Sonja openly admitting her tactic of blaming all mishaps on her long-suffering interns! (RHONY)

THE HORROR: I fully support a woman's personal decision to eat her own placenta. But I never thought I'd actually witness the preparation process on Bravo. (RHOP)

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