The Week in 'Wives: A RHOP observation, RHONY altercation, and RHOBH interrogation
This week, The Real Housewives of Potomac continue their Williamsburg trip, where the Karen v. Gizelle feud is put on the back burner so Gizelle can question Wendy's new look and new vibe instead. Next up, The Real Housewives of New York City gives Ramona a few more chances to terrorize Black Shabbat, where Sonja hits the tequila a little too hard. Finally, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills start to address the allegations against the Girardis — not just in terms of what might have happened, but how they should act in response. Also, it's Christmas! With that, here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Detective Sutton, RHOBH
Erika Jayne's legal s---storm has been a low point (albeit an enthralling one) for a while now. But this week, SoCal's best Southern belle whipped out her magnifying glass and started looking clearly at the situation rather than sticking to the ladies' usual approach of tiptoeing around Mrs. Girardi as she doles out weird revelations in hushed tones. And I loved it! The conversation becomes less productive when Erika herself is in the room — probably because Dorit turns cowardly faster than I thought possible and Lisa has a very twisted notion of what constitutes moral high ground — but when Sutton has the floor beforehand, she breaks down the situation (using a pile of printed notes) as well as anyone has so far. What a relief it was to finally hear, in response to that persistent question of where's the money?: "Girls! They spent it!" This is not a shocking assumption. Erika "XXPEN$IVE" Jayne used to proudly refer to herself as "an enigma wrapped in a riddle — and cash," which now ranks among the worst taglines of all time for two reasons. Sutton's strongest moment, though, might be the line that cuts through the noise about what Erika knew, which people keep wondering as if the answer to that will solve anything. "I don't think that ignorance is an excuse," Sutton says. "I just don't. When she's so smart? You've got to choose. Are you going to be smart or are you going to be blissful?"
LOW POINT: The Ramona coaster crashes, RHONY
Call me naïve, but I really thought, after last week's part one of Black Shabbat, we'd seen Ramona's worst for the evening. Regrettably, however, she was just getting started. We pick back up with her eating in the kitchen while everyone else waits, horrified, at the table. Seemingly out of nowhere, she starts talking about how "it's so confusing" that the use of and discussion around personal pronouns has evolved — I guess just to make sure she's covered all her bases this evening, and not neglected any oppressed groups in her parade of offenses. Upon Ramona's return to the table, Sonja responds to the first conversation prompt, which sends her spiraling on a rant about how Ramona is a social climber with no authentic purpose. What's frustrating is that deep down, Sonja has legitimate grievances against Ramona, but she only ever expresses any of them when she's wasted, so it comes out all wrong and then Ramona can just shake her head and wipe away nonexistent tears and dismiss the validity of Sonja's criticisms. Next, Eboni's friend Linara shares a painful story about receiving discriminatory medical treatment, to which Ramona responds with an anecdote about when she gave birth to Avery, which she seems to believe proves that racism does not, in fact, exist in medicine. Linara's grace in this moment is otherworldly, which Archie points out and Eboni affirms. Defeated, Ramona is forced to admit she was "shocked" by Linara's story, then leaves. There's just no turning Black Shabbat into White Christian Early Dinner With Ramona Singer, no matter how hard she tries.
WILDEST MOMENT: Women of substance, RHOP
I guess after Mia answered Gizelle's text with a disproportionately passive-aggressive response, Gizelle felt compelled to pay it forward. She and Robyn have concerns about Wendy, whose personality is as altered as her silhouette, they agree. But rather than asking her solo how she's been lately, Gizelle makes it entirely about her appearance, and notes at dinner with the whole group that "I've seen more of your body parts in the past month than I have the entire time I've known you," as if that in itself is cause for concern. Wendy, in her Versace bustier, points out that nothing she does with her body or wardrobe takes anything away from her accolades, and Karen chimes in with the dubious support of "I should be able to show my pubic hair if I wanted to!" Wendy is and always was gorgeous, and her new look just seems like a classic sophomore-season glow-up to me. But regardless of how Gizelle interprets it, saying that a new cup size makes her "so different from professor Wendy, substance Wendy" seems like a pretty unfair angle to take on discussing what's going on with her friend. Even more unfair? That when Askale deftly changes the conversation to ask Gizelle whether she's in a relationship, Gizelle refuses to engage on the subject as long as Karen is at the table. So she'll only ask questions? Gizelle is a top-tier Housewife, but she'd better not dish it if she can't take it!
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Garcelle, RHOBH
FLOP ZINGER ATTEMPT OF THE WEEK: "Princesses worry about their reputations. Queens don't!" — RHOBH's Lisa, who has not once been EW's Queen of the Week, for whatever that's worth.
SUMMER READING: RHONY's Dorinda has now released her memoir, Make It Nice!
SENDING LOVE: To Robyn navigating her "pandemic blues" on RHOP, and to everyone whose mental health has suffered in this awful last year and a half.
OH, LOOK: Teddi's back on RHOBH. We're all just thrilled. Hooray.