Chris Evans in Captain America: Civil War. “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet guns of liberty…”
Turkey baster in Don’t Breathe. Can’t. Be. Unseen.
Best Temper Tantrum
Lewis MacDougall in A Monster Calls. Both bark and bite.
Best Use of Bells
The Handmaiden. Gives “jingle bells” a whole new meaning.
Best Performance by a Goat
Black Phillip in The Witch. Beware his bleating heart.
Worst Safe Word
“Martha” in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Was “Oedipal Rage” a discarded subtitle?
Keanu in Keanu. Purr-fect.
Kevin Spacey in Nine Lives. Me-OWWWW.
Best Use of Chunky Knits
Michael Fassbender in The Light Between Oceans. Plenty of fans would help Fassbender scratch his itches.
Most Prophetic Doc
Weiner. Only the second-most surreal political story of 2016.
Most Endearing Drug Dealer
The Guy (Ben Sinclair) on High Maintenance. Good product. Great listener.
Most Intense Eye Contact
Frank (Kevin Spacey) and Claire Underwood (Robin Wright) in the final moments of House of Cards.
Most Villainous Carnivore
Chad Johnson on The Bachelorette. Beware of the deli counter.
Worst Sophomore Slump
UnREAL. We do not accept this rose.
Best Sophomore Bump
Supergirl. New home, new heights.
Best Use of Denim
Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop) on Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. A whole new meaning to mom jeans.
King’s Landing gets pulverized on Game of Thrones.
Thomas Gibson gets booted from Criminal Minds.
U.S. swimmer Ryan Murphy, who won gold in the 100m, 200m, and 4×100 relay.
U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte, who claimed he was robbed at a Rio gas station, only to later apologize that he “overexaggerated” the story.
Worst Album Title
The 1975’s I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It
Best Album Title
Dawes’ We’re All Gonna Die
Most Welcome (and Timely) Comeback
A Tribe Called Quest
Oueen of B Sides
Carly Rae Jepsen
Best Blast from the Past
The Stranger Things soundtrack
Best Blast from the Future
Best Musical Hug
Norah Jones’ Day Breaks
Most in Need of a Hug
Lena Dunham, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Michael Mann landed their own book imprints.
Ugliest Literary Outing
An Italian journalist exposed the true identity of Elena Ferrante, the pseudonymous author of the Neopolitan novels.
Most Gorgeous Reissue of All Time
The pages of the 50th-anniversary edition of Jacqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls are dyed a luxurious hot pink.
Most Bizarre Auction Item
Truman Capote’s cremains, ensconced in a wooden Japanese box, sold for $43,750.
Most Bizarre Narration
The narrator of Ian McEwan’s novel Nutshell is a fetus.
Best Excuse for a Book Delay
George R.R. Martin — a tad late with the sixth installment in his Song of Ice and Fire series — said, “Look, I have always had problems with deadlines. For whatever reason, I don’t respond well to them.”
Strangers’ stories of love and loss just sound better when told by celebs on Modern Love.
Most Awkward Concept
Making a podcast like My Dad Wrote a Porno is at least cheaper than therapy.
Best Use of Snark
Who? Weekly has the answer for all those times you wonder what Rita Ora is up to.
Most Ironic Title
Tuck Everlasting, the musical about immortal life, closed after just two months.
Least Ironic Title
Shuffle Along did exactly that soon after star Audra McDonald went on maternity leave.
The Betty Buckley "Memory" Memorial
Try as she might, Cats headliner Leona Lewis didn’t erase the memory of a better performance.
Best Reason to Go Outside
Pokémon GO puts the Fitbit to shame.
Most Immersive VR Game
Batman: Arkham VR has you reaching for batarangs.
Most Nauseating VR Game
PlayStation VR Worlds‘ “Scavengers Odyssey” has you reaching for Dramamine.