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  3. Orange Is the New Black: We ranked every season 5 episode

Orange Is the New Black: We ranked every season 5 episode

By Chancellor Agard,  Jami Ganz and Derek Lawrence June 20, 2017 at 04:24 PM EDT
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13. "The Reverse Midas Touch" (Episode 10)

OITNB_EP_510
Credit: Netflix

Season 5 of Orange Is the New Black devolved into torture porn in episode 10 as Piscatella (Brad William Henke) spent the entire hour abusing Red (Kate Mulgrew) and the other women he kidnapped. As Piscatella scalped Red and broke Alex's (Laura Prepon) arm, the episode revealed why he killed that inmate at the beginning of his career — however, those flashbacks didn't add any depth to this one-dimensional villain or explain his horrific actions.

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12. "Pissters!" (Episode 3)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

Raise your hand if you were dying to see Linda (Beth Dover) from MCC's days as a sorority sister in college? No one? Okay, then, moving on!

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11. "Litchfield's Got Talent" (Episode 4)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

What does every great riot have? A talent show featuring the hostages, of course! The combination of the guards performing for the inmates and Judy King (Blair Brown) being held hostage resulted in a largely forgettable episode, with the exception of CO Stratman's (Evan Arthur Hall) impressive Magic Mike moves.

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10. "F---, Marry, Frieda" (Episode 2)

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Credit: Myles Aronowitz/Netflix

Caputo's (Nick Sandow) office struggled with 21st-century tech, Frieda (Dale Soules) was one hell of a survivalist, and, oh yeah, we got some ultra-graphic descriptions of ways to torture people, courtesy of Humps (Michael Torpey). Thanks for that.

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9. "Tattoo You" (Episode 12)

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Credit: Netflix

Clearly, the OITNB writers didn't watch Lost. Because if they had, they would have known to avoid doing flashbacks centered on the origin of their main character's tattoo. The rest of the episode was solid, but the unsuccessful detour put a slight damper on the show's end-of-season momentum.

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8. "The Tightening" (Episode 9)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

While Red fought the power in flashbacks, she succumbed to drugs and paranoia in the present, and Piscatella picked off inmates one by one and stored them in a closet — thus giving the episode a horror movie vibe. And if that weren't scary enough, Fig (Alysia Reiner) was back to handle MCC's negotiations.

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7. "Tied to the Tracks" (Episode 8)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

Turns out, Fig wasn't the monster we grew to know. Aleida (Elizabeth Rodriguez), though, was still a monster, as flashbacks showed her less-than-traditional mothering during Daya's (Dascha Polanco) formative years.

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6. "Full Bush, Half Snickers" (Episode 7)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

This episode left a sweet taste in our mouths (no thanks to that coffee...or those Snickers) when doors opened to Poussey's (Samira Wiley) touching memorial.

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5. "Riot FOMO" (Episode 1)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

Beginning right where season 4 ended, the premiere nicely set up the season-long prison riot arc and showcased what was to come, including Danielle Brooks' incredible year.

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4. "Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally" (Episode 6)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

Cheetos brought everyone together, until Taystee and Co. took them away, set them on fire, and signaled the resistance. Who knew cheesy munchies could be so symbolic?

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3. "Sing It, White Effie" (Episode 5)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

In episode 5, Danielle Brooks emerged as the season's MVP as Taystee delivered a powerful speech to the media detailing exactly what she and her fellow inmates were fighting for. "Sing It, White Effie" also featured one of the season's most successful flashbacks, detailing when Watson (Vicky Jeudy) first realized the system was rigged against people who look like her.

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2. "Breaking the Fiberboard Ceiling" (Episode 12)

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Credit: JoJo Whilden/Netflix

This episode could also be called "Give Uzo Aduba Her Emmy Nomination," as Suzanne had a meltdown upon discovering Humphrey's death. With Taystee tied up negotiating, the others struggled to deal with their off-her-medication friend, leading to the heartbreaking scene of Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore) unwisely giving lithium to Suzanne to calm her down.

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1. "Storm-y Weather" (Episode 13)

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Credit: Jojo Whilden/Netflix

The season couldn't have ended any other way: The fragile order of the Litchfield Revolution came crashing down in this tense finale when the CERT officers finally barged to reclaim control of the prison — and it was downright brutal to watch. As most of the prisoners were bussed off to other parts unknown, the women hiding in Frieda's bunker stood on the brink of death (or, at least, severe injury) as they awaited the S.W.A.T. team's assault on their hideout.

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  • By Chancellor Agard @chancelloragard
  • By Jami Ganz
  • By Derek Lawrence

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    Everything in This Slideshow

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    1 of 13 13. "The Reverse Midas Touch" (Episode 10)
    2 of 13 12. "Pissters!" (Episode 3)
    3 of 13 11. "Litchfield's Got Talent" (Episode 4)
    4 of 13 10. "F---, Marry, Frieda" (Episode 2)
    5 of 13 9. "Tattoo You" (Episode 12)
    6 of 13 8. "The Tightening" (Episode 9)
    7 of 13 7. "Tied to the Tracks" (Episode 8)
    8 of 13 6. "Full Bush, Half Snickers" (Episode 7)
    9 of 13 5. "Riot FOMO" (Episode 1)
    10 of 13 4. "Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally" (Episode 6)
    11 of 13 3. "Sing It, White Effie" (Episode 5)
    12 of 13 2. "Breaking the Fiberboard Ceiling" (Episode 12)
    13 of 13 1. "Storm-y Weather" (Episode 13)

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    Orange Is the New Black: We ranked every season 5 episode
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