Maya Rudolph has entered the M&M's spokescandy discourse
One of the dumbest "controversies" of the past year just got sillier.
Saturday Night Live and Bridesmaids alum Maya Rudolph has been named the new spokesperson for M&M's just as the candy company announced it is doing away with its spokescandies in light of "backlash." (Heavy on the air quotes.)
"America, let's talk," begins a statement released by the M&M's brand on Monday. "In the last year, we've made some changes to our beloved spokescandies." Those would be the anthropomorphic M&M's that have had all kinds of shenanigans with the likes of Santa Claus, Danny DeVito, grocery store conveyor belts, and more.
"We weren't sure if anyone would even notice. And we definitely didn't think it would break the internet," the statement continues. "But now we get it — even a candy's shoes can be polarizing. Which was the last thing M&M's wanted since we're all about bringing people together."
The company is referring to the fact that, last year, the M&M's spokescandies got a slightly different look in the spirit of "creating a world where everyone feels they belong and society is inclusive," a brand statement said at the time. The changes were slight. The female-presenting Green M&M received the biggest of these minute changes: instead of thigh-high boots, she now has sneakers.
That alone has lead to articles like this Rolling Stone piece about how the Green M&M should remain "a nasty little slut" and a Tucker Carlson Fox News segment in which the media personality decried the Brown M&M for being "less sexy" because she went from having high stiletto heels to "lower block heels."
"M&M's will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous, until the moment you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them. That's the goal. When you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity," is a real thing that a mainstream media talking head said on television about M&M's.
"Therefore, we have decided to take an indefinite pause from the spokescandies," the candy company continues in its statement. "In their place, we are proud to introduce a spokesperson America can agree on: the beloved Maya Rudolph. We are confident Ms. Rudolph will champion the power of fun to create a world where everyone feels they belong."
This could all very well be a big stunt for the Super Bowl, like how Mr. Peanut was killed in a car crash. Today reports that Rudolph will appear in a new Big Game ad for M&M's. Though, if talking candy caused this much discourse, it's scary to think what America could say about a human woman.