No, we're not kidding. In the latest episode of Quibi's comedy series Royalties, which stars Darren Criss and Kether Donohue as struggling songwriters, Hamill plays Philip Combs, a country singer who performs the duo's song "Mighty as Kong." The song, written IRL by Criss, comes about after Sara (Donohue) hooks up with a not-exactly-well-endowed guy who claims King Kong's junk would only be five inches long.
Hence the lyrics: "I think of my friend every time that I feel small/He never let his tiny penis/Make him forget he was the greatest of all."
Royalties, co-written by Criss and his Team StarKid collaborators Nick and Matt Lang, follows ragtag songwriting duo Pierce (Criss) and Sara as they attempt to create a great song week after week. The series features original songs and music videos in every episode, performed by the likes of Jordan Fisher, Rufus Wainwright, and Julianne Hough. Republic Records will release the series' original soundtrack album on July 3.
You can watch the music video for "Mighty as Kong" above.