Late-night hosts celebrate Trump's extended Facebook ban: 'This has to be driving him nuts'
"They deliberated and decided that, for the time being, Trump will continue to be blocked on Facebook, Instagram, and in bed with Melania, which was a weird thing for them to throw in," Kimmel said during his monologue on Jimmy Kimmel Live Wednesday.
"This has to be driving him nuts," he continued. "If Trump runs for president again, he's gonna have to go door to door talking to voters like a Jehovah Witness or something. 'Hello, my name is Donald. Have you heard the bad news about Mexicans?'"
Trump was banned from Facebook, as well as other social media platforms like Twitter, in January following the events of the Capitol Riots, during which droves of his supporters stormed the Capitol building in D.C. resulting in the death of five people, including a police officer.
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg stated in a blog post at the time that allowing Trump, who used social media to egg on his supporters, to continue using Facebook would be "too great" a risk.
On Wednesday, Facebook's oversight board extended the ban but will reassess and make a final decision on the situation in six months.
"His punishment for trying to overthrow the government is the same punishment you give a teenager for coming home late after curfew. 'No social media for you!'" Kimmel cracked.
On The Daily Show, Noah lampooned Trump's launch of a new Twitter-esque blog called From the Desk of Donald J. Trump. Trump responded to Facebook's extended ban in a statement released on the platform.
"These corrupt social media companies must pay a political price, and must never again be allowed to destroy and decimate our Electoral Process," he wrote.
"Hold up! This dude has been saying for months that he is going to create a whole new social media platform to rival Twitter and Facebook, and he just ended up making a blog?" Noah said. "And not just that, he's called the blog From the Desk of Donald Trump when we know for a fact that he doesn't spend any time there. I mean, you might as well call it From the Juice Bar of Donald Trump."
"But I get it, you know? Trump had to do something to distract from the fact that he lost his appeal to get back on Facebook," he continued. "Or, as he put it, [imitating Trump] 'We won this appeal, in a landslide. Everyone knows it. So many victories.'"
Jimmy Fallon quipped on The Tonight Show that, "if you wanna see crazy conspiracy theories, you'll have to settle for any other person on Facebook."
"That's tough break for Trump. Now he's scrambling to figure out how to keep in touch with his friends from high school," he said. "On the bright side, he still has a good excuse for forgetting his kids' birthdays."
"You gotta give this to Trump, though," Fallon later added. "He's the only person to leave social media without a long annoying post about how he's leaving social media."
Seth Meyers briefly addressed the situation on Late Night. "Whatever else you think of the guy, he did find a way to leave Facebook," he joked.
Meanwhile, the animated Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out The News on Paramount+ dedicated a larger mock segment on the matter.
"Liberals praised the move by the psychological manipulating data-mining website," the animated anchor James Smartwood (voiced by R.J. Fried) began. "Meanwhile, Trump's feeling the impact personally as the platform serves as a lifeline for direct communication between his team and nearly a dozen GRU hackers."
But Trump isn't the only one suffering, Smartwood pointed out. "Without Trump's online presence, we here in the media have been forced to discuss frivolous bulls--- like COVID."
James Corden, over on The Late Late Show, imagined it would be a "cushy job" to be a member of Facebook's oversight board. "You've banned Trump and you've done absolutely nothing else ever to ever make Facebook better," he joked.
As for Trump's blog — which he agrees is "a blog, that's it" — Corden has a better name for it. "Trump's jotting down some thoughts when they come to him, so let's be honest about what this whole thing should really be called: From the Bathroom of Donald J. Trump."