The 14 best jokes from the Jonas Brothers Family Roast
The Jonas Brothers survived.
Netflix's Jonas Brothers Family Roast, hosted by Kenan Thompson and streaming now, brought together comedians, friends, and family members to poke fun at Nick, Joe, and Kevin. And although the pop stars admitted that they weren't sure what to expect from the special, the good news is they seemed to laugh most of it off.
But that doesn't mean there weren't a few good digs. Below, check out the 14 best jokes from the roast.
On Kevin: "As the saying goes, every Destiny's Child needs its Michelle Williams."
"Joe is so white that when it was time to name his band, he couldn't even spell 'dance' right."
"Kevin is actually my favorite Jonas brother. Because he makes you believe that anyone can be a pop star. When you see a picture of him next to Nick and Joe you always think, 'Wow, Nick and Joe are really close with their accountant.'"
"Hi, Joe. I didn't forget about you. I mean I did from 2008 to 2015, but not tonight."
"Show some respect. Nick's a legit actor now. He's won everything from Kids' Choice Award to a Teen Choice Award."
"Nick even had a hit called 'Jealous.' Though it wouldn't been way more believable if Kevin was singing it."
Priyanka Chopra Jonas
"Nick and I have a 10-year age gap. Yes. We do, and there are many '90s pop culture references he doesn't understand and I have to explain them to him, which is fine because we teach other. We teach each other things. He showed me how to use TikTok, for example, and I showed him what a successful acting career looks like."
Legend performed a song all about how the Jonas Brothers aren't quite the Beatles, and honestly, the entire thing deserved to be on this list, but here's a taste of the chorus: "You're not quite the Beatles, though you're really nice guys. You're pretty darn handsome, and better than Hanson, but you'll never be the Beatles, nice try."
Danielle Jonas (via Kenan, after she lost her voice)
"Kevin is truly the best dad, and like most people, our daughters don't even know that he's famous."
On promise rings: "Joe Jonas wasn't just sticking his fingers in some dumb metal rings, he was sticking his fingers in costars, actresses, and even a supermodel or two. To be honest, Joe and the purity ring thing was kind of like a modern-day Cinderella. Joe tried to find a match for his purity ring a few times, but finally the finger fit me. And it's also like Cinderella because most of the girls he tried it with were under contract to Disney."
"I said when I started acting that I would never date an actor, and after I saw Camp Rock 2 I knew it was safe to date Joe."
"Nick was so excited to be the host of SNL, as both the host and musical guest. Nick finally got to collaborate with his favorite person: Nick Jonas."
"Kevin, you've always been the first at everything. Kevin was the first child. He was the first to finish school. He was the first to get married. He also was the first to get kicked out of the band."
To Kevin: "You were on one whole episode of Celebrity Apprentice. Until Donald Trump fired you. And that is actually the only thing Donal trump and I have in common."