The 10 best songs from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, ranked

“What are you doing for like, the next 13 hours?” Listening to this slow-jam about methodically scouring the internet for literally any piece of information about your ex’s new love interest, that’s what. Guest star Brittany Snow nails the song’s breathy vibe as she lays out the seductive appeal of digital stalking, while helpfully(?) suggesting various, very detailed ways Rebecca and Valencia can do it. —Jessica Derschowitz

Mix the Spice Girls with squad goals and add a dash of evil genius and you’ll get this catchy-as-hell anthem about how you can conquer the world with your best friends by your side. No, but like, really conquer the world: “With the power of our gossip giggles we’ll storm the Pentagon,” Valencia sings, “Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas on the White House lawn.” Stage a coup, you say? One with rosé drinking and Hocus Pocus-watching? That gets a triumphant zig-a-zow! —JD

Home Base transforms into an old-timey pub for this jig that allows Greg to tell his friends about his alcoholism. As he explains: “Yes, wine can be fun — white, rosé, red/Till I call up my boss, say I wish he was dead/Chase down the regret with some gin for good luck/Then steal my cousin Jim’s landscaping truck.” It’s very funny—and moving — and marks the start of a random recurring gag about Greg having drunk sex with a bush. —Henry Goldblatt

The highlight of Grebecca Version 1.0 is this buoyant ditty about… a urinary tract infection. Seems like there’s been a lot of sex happening and as Greg gleefully explains: "I’m so good at sex. Your maiden ship got wrecked. My penis is the reason you may die, die, die. I gave you a UTI." Ok, that’s an obvious exaggeration, but Greg’s joy at his sexniques make this call-and-response rock number memorable — and ridiculously charming. —HG

Rebecca and Josh are back together! To celebrate their latest attempt at a relationship, they Soul Train through this number in matching jumpsuits festooned with hearts, trying to convince everyone (and themselves) that they’ve conquered all of their relationship woes. (Yeah, right.) “We’re problem free. That’s you and me,” the couple sings as they chase off Heather, who is trying to provide a vocal-fried dose of reality. It’s groovy. —HG

In an innuendo-laden homage to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, Greg and Josh tap dance through Rebecca’s apartment pointing out all the places where they each fornicated with her. The culmination of the song establishes it as a classic and contains one of the best jokes of the entire series.

“Where should we finish?” asks Greg as they’re wrapping up the number.

“Please not on my chest,” says Rebecca. “No! You’ll scratch it.”

Of course, the guys ignore her — and their routine, um, climaxes, on Rebecca’s chest… of drawers. —HG

This geometry pun-filled number is a fantastic example of what Crazy Ex-Girlfriend does so well. First, it’s a spot on homage to a classic, Marilyn Monroe’s “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Second, it’s incredibly clever and funny (“Oh no, professors, am I facing suspension?/Whee, a swing! It’s literal suspension!”). Third, and most importantly, it’s also very subversive as it both embraces and critiques a romantic comedy trope: the love triangle. The song is about Rebecca’s inability to choose between Josh and Greg; however, as each attempt to use “math” to solve her predicament fails, you realize the song is very much about how love triangles are contrived and mostly unrealistic. —Chancellor Agard

Who would’ve thought a love ballad that’s all about settling in a relationship could actually be pretty romantic? Early in season 1, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend established that perfect blend of humor, emotion, and satire in its song-writing with a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers-inspired number that asked Rebecca to settle for Greg. Santino Fontana’s smooth, heart-melting vocals (and the way he wears that tux!) certainly help sell Greg’s argument that Rebecca should really consider settling for him — in fact, settling romantically has never looked or sounded so appealing. —Maureen Lee Lenker

Every lady has been there — a guy lets us down in some way, and our girlfriends jump in to remind us of all the reasons men are terrible creatures. This winking take on “It’s Raining Men” captures the essence of those girl power moments of solidarity with hilarious specificity, while also acknowledging how vast and harmful some of the stereotypes can be. Plus, it’s just incredibly fun to dance to. —ML

The announcer says it best: This is a song about “self-indulgent self-loathing,” and it’s also a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend all-timer. Rebecca’s power ballad taps into all the emotions around repeated self-destructive behavior — how much it hurts, but also how easy it is to keep doubling down on it (“Yes, I deserve this!”). Her dress might be sparkly and the crowd may be rapturous, but that shiny exterior can’t sugarcoat that “You Stupid Bitch” is a gut-punch about self-hatred and sadness that you don’t have to live in West Covina to relate to. —JD