Behold the saucy new Big Brother and Love Island key art
Tell your brain cells to take a hike because guilty pleasure summer TV is right around the corner. How do we know? Because we have the exclusive key art for the new seasons of CBS' dynamic duo of mindless madness. That's right, Big Brother and Love Island are back on July 7. Don't believe us? Just look at the key art. The date's right on there! Besides, why would we lie to you about that? That would be a super weird thing to do. You can totally trust us. After all, it's not like we're secretly trying to backdoor you, à la Nakomis Deadmon's epic six-finger-plan. Or are we…? EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED, PEOPLE!
We start with the Big Brother key art for season 23, which features some sort of building-like structure rising not unlike the mythic phoenix out of a grassy field. And who is that standing on the roof of said structure, an enticing key dangling from her finger? Why it's none other than host Julie Chen Moonves! Which, on second thought, is not much of a surprise. I mean, other than the possible exceptions of Benny the Squirrel, the Zingbot, and Mr. PEC-Tacular, there aren't exactly a lot of options to put on that roof. Let's behold JCM in all her glory!
In its never-ending quest to top Big Brother as the ultimate will-my-spouse-finally-divorce-me-for-continuing-to-obsessively-watch-this-nonsense-TV-show, Love Island did not just conjure up a new key art poster. IT CONJURED UP TWO! It's so nice they had to make it twice!
In the first poster, we see several men clearly in the process of drowning while a sexy something relaxes on her surfboard, completely oblivious to the underwater horror taking place just inches below. Even more horrifying than that are the perfectly arched backs of the mermaid-like figures in the second poster, as they longingly hope to be noticed by the brotastic bromaster just chilling on a board as he ponders all the ways to use the Hawaiian lei around his neck to make lots of "got laid" jokes back the villa later. (Sadly, one of them is bound to work.)
Which key art poster is your favorite? Which show is your go-to guilty pleasure? And why didn't those cowards at CBS give Julie Chen Moonves her own surfboard as well so she could surf right off that giant Big Brother logo? Would it have made a lick of sense? Absolutely not! But neither does watching 23 seasons of a reality show multiple times a week when you have other responsibilities as a parent and spouse, and yet here we are. And here we shall be on July 7.
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