Ashton Kutcher describes Mila Kunis' morning bowel movements in Tonight Show voice swap game
The married couple was challenged by host Jimmy Fallon to play a voice swap game in which Kutcher answered questions directed at Kunis while she tried moving her mouth along with his words, and vice versa. Basically, each of them got a chance to turn the other into a human ventriloquist dummy.
Fallon directed his questions at Kunis to begin the game. "How are you doing?" he asked the actress. The question seemed simple enough, but Kutcher immediately made things graphic.
"I'm great. I went to the bathroom this morning to take a giant s---," Kutcher said while Kunis did her best to mouth the words in real-time. "I feel wonderful after doing that because I released my entire innards, and from that, it just opened me up to the wonderful energy of the world."
Asked if she's been having any strange dreams while in quarantine, Kutcher said that his wife dreamt she "had elbow cancer."
"My elbow was so cancerous that I couldn't even bend it and pick up my children, so I picked up the littlest one and dropped him on his head again," he added.
While the Spy Who Dumped Me actress was laughing throughout the segment, her giggles became uncontrollable at this point. "I don't know how people keep a straight face," she said. "Do you know what my worst fear — and I said I'll never do it — is SNL because of this. I enjoy laughter and I have a very hard time holding it down."
Kutcher hilariously responded, "You and Jimmy on SNL would've been a great pairing," referencing Fallon's infamous reputation for constantly breaking during his tenure on the sketch show.
Kunis revealed her inability to keep it together would get Kutcher "so mad" while they were both starring in That '70s Show. Their characters, Jackie and Kelso, also dated in the series, and in real life, the two got together after it ended.
Then it was time for Kunis to voice her partner's answer to the question: "What is the first thing you'll do after quarantine is over?"
"My favorite thing to do is to just go outside and get naked and run around. Look at me go!" she narrated, at which point Kutcher took off his shirt, revealing some interesting chest hair.
"My chest hair is shaped like the Batman signal!" she astutely narrated as he mouthed along with her. "And I don't even know why it's there!"
The couple previously released their own Quarantine Wine, with 100 percent of the proceeds going toward charities helping with COVID-19 relief efforts. Their Pinot Noir will retail at $50 for two bottles, and the funds will be going to Give Directly, Direct Relief, The Frontline Responders Fund, and America’s Food Fund.
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