"What the f--- are you doing?" Driver asked Oliver after the host said he wanted Driver to "crush my larynx, you unwieldy boulder."

By Nick Romano
November 16, 2020 at 09:00 AM EST
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John Oliver finally got his wish. Adam Driver demolished him — just not in the way Oliver was thinking about in the months-long running bit.

In recapping 2020 for the year's final episode of Last Week Tonight, Oliver noted how he spent the last 12 months "demanding that Adam Driver demolish me, crush my larynx, you unwieldy boulder." Well, a new sketch that saw Driver FaceTiming Oliver to ask "what the f--- are you doing?" saw the Star Wars actor finally confronting the late-night personality.

"This thing you've been doing that's either sexual or violent... This strange, strange bit that for some reason you’ve pulled me into. What is it?" Driver asked. "When you first started doing it, it was easy for me to shrug it off." Oliver kept interjecting sexually charged quips, like, "Especially with those shoulders, I bet." But Driver continued.

"Stop talking!" the actor said. "Do you realize, over this past year, what you’ve asked me to do to you? ‘Collapse on your chest.’ ‘Tie your fingers in a square knot.’ ‘Step on your throat.’ ‘Shatter your knees.’ ‘Pull your heart out through your ear.’ What's wrong with you? You realize we’re strangers, right? I don’t know you. And now random people on the internet stan us, claiming that you thirsting over me is 'a mood.' I’m sick of people stopping me on the street and asking me if I’m going to punch a hole in you like a Marriage Story wall."

Driver tried to force an apology out of Oliver, and at first, all he got was the host admitting to being "America's naughtiest b----." Finally, he conceded, "Consider this bit over. It's done." Driver tried to be understanding and encouraged Oliver to get up from his desk and white Last Week Tonight background and explore his surroundings. That backfired, because it sounded like Driver was giving Oliver an order and, well, he was into it.

"Explore the f---ing space, you hollow-boned Mr. Bean cosplayer," Driver demanded. "Look around you, you under-baked gingerbread boy."

"Oh God, that feels good," Oliver said.

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Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

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