'This is giving very Chris Crocker, bitch!'

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No, you’re not standing under Alyssa Edwards‘ wig, it’s just getting super shady in here.

In the great tradition of Paris Is Burning, EW has enlisted the 13 lovely ladies of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 12 to open the library and read photos of each other’s first time in drag. Ahead of the new season’s premiere tonight at 8:00 p.m. on VH1, watch the queens get savage as they read each other for filth in the video above, and read on for the best quotes from the kiki.

Gigi Goode

“I heard Blair St. Clair was painting softer lately.” – Jackie Cox

“Remember Regina George? This is her now.” – Jan

“This is giving very Chris Crocker, bitch!” – Dahlia Sin

Rock M. Sakura

“This is definitely the softest you’ve ever looked.” – Jackie Cox

“There was no girl baby in our house. My mom got this because she knew I was going to be a tramp.” – Rock M. Sakura

“Where do you get, like, little baby denim Daisy Dukes?” – Jaida Essence Hall

“You get them from Slutty Carter’s.” – Rock M. Sakura

Jaida Essence Hall

“I thought Aaliyah died, girl?” Jackie Cox

“She just finished her shift at Walgreen’s.” – Brita

Nicky Doll

“This is Sharpay from High School Musical.” – Jackie Cox

Sherry Pie

“It looks like Peaches.” – Rock M. Sakura

“You look like a teenage Lil Poundcake.” – Brita

Jan

“You look like somebody’s mom. ‘I need the manager right now!'” – Jaida Essence Hall

“That’s a 40-year-old vice principal who teaches ballet on the side at the Y.” – Jan

“The mother who loves her children, but she just became partner, so her life is very hectic right now.” – Jaida Essence Hall

Crystal Methyd

“I love this Natasha Bedingfield bang!” – Rock M. Sakura

“It looks like you painted two oranges on your face.” – Sherry Pie

Widow Von’Du

“This is very mom or auntie that just got their iPhone for the first time, and they’re trying to find their [selfie] angle, but they couldn’t find it.” – Dahlia Sin

“This was taken on a Motorola Razr.” – Jan

“If you look at my shoulder and my face, bitch, I am wearing white girl concealer. I couldn’t find anything that was brown.” – Widow Von’Du

“You look like my gym teacher when I was in high school.” – Nicky Doll

Dahlia Sin

“Is this your Dragula audition tape? Come on, Dragula audition tape!” – Widow Von’Du

“What I love most about this photo is that the bottom lash seems to be bigger than the top lash.” – Jaida Essence Hall

“I love you, Jeffree Star!” – Nicky Doll

Jackie Cox

“It looks like you wanted to pee really bad.” – Nicky Doll

“This is Mimi in Rent!” – Jan

“This photo is so old it’s in black and white!” – Rock M. Sakura

Heidi N Closet

“My lashes were flat and staring right at you.” – Heidi N Closet

“Can we talk about this emo lighting?” – Jan

“I just want to sing ‘wake me up inside!'” – Nicky Doll

Aiden Zhane

“This was literally one of my first gigs. I did not get a check that night. I thought I was a woman.” – Aiden Zhane

“They said, ‘How much light do you want?’ and she said ‘All of it.'” – Heidi N Closet

Brita

“You’ve got all the cheekbones in this picture. Every last cheekbone!” – Heidi N Closet

“It is definitely The Rock in drag for the first time.” – Brita

“A lot of people will be scared here.” – Group

“The face tells me ‘Don’t f—k with me or I’m going to show you how I got this eye.” – Rock M. Sakura

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RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul — as host, mentor, and creative inspiration — decides who's in and who's out.

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