5 other food mascots that need to die now that we finally killed Mr. Peanut
Mr. Peanut is gone — and now it's time to finish off some of his annoying peers.
The internet was rocked today by the tragic (and Super Bowl ad-induced) death of Mr. Peanut, who served as the monocle-wearing mascot of Planters Peanuts since 1916. While Planters killed Mr. Peanut as part of a marketing ploy, the murder got us thinking… What other animated food mascots need to be taken behind the shed and put down? This question prompted a long (and rather disturbing) thread in EW’s slack chat, but we eventually managed to narrow down our kill list to five primary offenders.
Though he no longer rhymes incessantly, this Cheetos spokescat still wears sunglasses indoors and now speaks with a British accent that he randomly developed later in life. Plus, Chester is just woefully off-brand. Cheetos are a lot of things — delicious, messy, devoid of any nutritional value — but no one has ever equated the dusty orange crunch-sticks with “cool.”
The Trix Rabbit
This hopped-up bunny has been scheming to get his paws on a bowl of fruit-shaped sugar nuggets since 1959 — and he’s been thwarted by greedy children for 61 straight years. Talk about a Sisyphean existence. Put him out of his misery already, General Mills.
Those Talking M&Ms
It was always a little disturbing to watch Mr. Peanut shill peanuts for Planters — why would he want to encourage people to eat members of his own species? But at least Mr. Peanut did not perform actual acts of cannibalism, as these voracious and vicious CGI candies do on a regular basis. Sure, they poked fun at their grotesque eating habits in a 2003 ad, but they continue to devour their candy-coated brothers and sisters to this day.
Never mind that Honey Smacks resemble dead bugs (and occasionally carry salmonella), but their amphibian mascot — who wears a T-shirt bearing his own name and a cap turned sideways — is essentially the cereal version of The Simpsons‘ Poochie the Dog.
Honestly, Ronald, this is a classic “It’s not you, it’s me” situation. When you were introduced as the fast-food chain’s mascot in 1963, consumers knew a lot less about the damaging health effects of fatty and fried foods — and so they could feed their kids Quarter Pounders and Filet-o-Fish sandwiches guilt-free. Today’s moms and dads can’t claim such ignorance — and your smiling clown face serves as a haunting reminder that every time I give in to my child’s cravings for a Quarter Pounder, I’m hastening his own death.