The people need to know about The Crows Have Eyes III.
Warning: Spoilers from Schitt’s Creek season 6 premiere “Smoke Signals” are discussed in this article.
It’s been 525,600 minutes (thank you, Rent), 365 days, or one year since Jan. 8, 2019, the day the fifth season of Schitt’s Creek premiered on CBC and Pop TV. The wait has been bittersweet: bitter because it’s been a year since fans have had their fix for new episodes and sweet because it only prolonged the inevitable ending for the show. But even though season 6 will be the last for Dan and Eugene Levy‘s hit comedy, the premiere episode proved to be a welcome return for the Roses with more laughs, tears, and answers to our burning questions from the season 5 finale.
Mainly, we know what happened to The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening. The people need to know.
Moira (Catherine O’Hara) hasn’t left that closet since she found out her big Hollywood comeback, the latest “reinvigoration of The Crows Have Eyes franchise,” got the ax. Not even Cindy, one of her favorite wigs, could console her. Of all people, it’s Roland (Chris Elliott) starting a little microwave fire in the motel that makes her realize she should be focusing her energy on more important things. That’s when she gets a call saying The Crows Have Eyes III was saved by Interflix, a new brand-new streaming platform, and now she’s back in business.
Why is Alexis still not in the Galapagos?
Well, it’s a funny story…
Alexis (Annie Murphy) was on her way to the airport in the season 6 premiere to go meet Ted (Dustin Milligan) on the “vacation” that’s totally not a vacation at all. David (Dan Levy), Patrick (Noah Reid), and Stevie (Emily Hampshire) were going to give her a ride after they look at wedding venues. Then their car broke down. Yet, that’s not why Alexis didn’t go. She read the date wrong and accidentally booked a flight for August instead of July. Apparently, airlines log dates with the day first and then the month. Crazy.
When are David and Patrick tying the knot?
Some things you just can’t plan for. After Patrick’s touching proposal on the hiking trail in season 5, he and David found the truly perfect spot to have their wedding. The problem is they didn’t check the prices with the wedding venue in advance and it comes with just a few too many zeros on that price tag. They were offered a special discount if they got married on a Sunday in a month, but then they realized the farm up the road processes its meat on the first Sunday of every month. The sound the pigs make is like “a thousand babies teething,” as David poetically put it. They still don’t have a date, but Patrick at least convinced David to think about hosting it at the motel, since it means so much to his family.
Who got reprimanded for indecent exposure?
Yeah, that would be Johnny (Eugene Levy). He and Moira took a stroll — to the creek of Schitt’s Creek, no less — and his wonderful wife left him in the water while she took that phone call about The Crows Have Eyes. Luckily there was an off-duty policeman nearby to fish him out (with an actual fishing rod), but Johnny got slapped with a warning.
EW will be unpacking all these moments and more as the season goes on through EW On Set, a new companion podcast that kicks off Wednesday, Jan. 8 at 6 a.m. ET with additional episodes dropping every week. Hosts Shana Naomi Krochmal and Patrick Gomez will share exclusive interviews and intel from the season 6 set.
EW On Set is available wherever you stream or download your podcasts.