By Derek Lawrence
September 27, 2019 at 09:30 AM EDT
NBC
type
  • TV Show
Network
Genre

Over the last month, there’s been a lot of discussion about Friends (we’re just as guilty as anyone else), which is celebrating its 25th anniversary with think pieces, fun look backs, and more think pieces. But lost in all the conversation was the most important question of all: Which Friend is the best friend?

Now, to be clear, we’re not talking about who is the best character. This is more like, who would you most want to be there for you? These are self-proclaimed friends, so one has to be better at it than the rest. For example, we all know who was the most golden girl (you know who) and which of the three was the best company.

So, to cap off EW’s month-long tribute to Friends, we launched an investigation to once and for all decide the Friend who was the best friend. Here’s our “perkfect” breakdown.

Ross

Pros: No commitment issues, knows how to party in Vegas, great to nap with, good father, you’ll learn some random dinosaur facts.
Cons: Overly competitive, unclear if he knows how to be single, talks too much about dinosaurs.
Summary: Does he have time for me? Because, between being a dad and constantly having a new love interest, when will my needs be met?

Rachel

Pros: Will give great fashion and hair advice, also knows how to party in Vegas, willing to take impromptu trips to Europe.
Cons: Self-centered, spoiled, might start hooking up with your brother, leads on coffee shop managers.
Summary: How badly do you want that new look?

Phoebe

Pros: Prepared to physically fight anyone who wrongs you, brings an unique world view (and some wild stories) to the group, possesses a maternal instinct, always happy to try and cover for you if you say the wrong name at your wedding.
Cons: Flighty, could easily just disappear for weeks as part of a performance art piece, how many times can you listen to “Smelly Cat”?
Summary: Unlike the rest, you won’t have to worry about her sleeping around in the friend group.

Monica

Pros: Great cook, happy to share her friends, not afraid to go after what she wants, sick New York City apartment.
Cons: Neurotic, also overly competitive (runs in the genes), did I mention neurotic?
Summary: Did I mention the sick apartment?

Chandler

Pros: Funny, willing to lend you money, stable, not intimidating as a wingman
Cons: Knows he’s funny, smoker, can’t trust him around your girlfriend (sorry, Trey Songz, Chandler is the real Mr. Steal Your Girl).
Summary: As a self-described Chandler, I know all too well how exhausting I can be with my attempts at humor.

Joey

Pros: Runs in C-list celebrity circles, ladies man, also great to nap with, has the personality of a loyal puppy, will buy you expensive jewelry.
Cons: Pursues his friend’s exes, you have to constantly feed him, terrible wingman, plays favorites with his best friends.
Summary: He definitely doesn’t care how you are doing.

And the Ultimate Friend is…

……

……

……

Phoebe Buffay, a.k.a. Regina Phalange, a.k.a. Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock.

And now they do know that we know they know we know.

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