The 5 most outrageous jokes from Bill Burr's Netflix comedy special Paper Tiger
Nobody is safe in Bill Burr’s new Netflix comedy special Paper Tiger, not even Stephen Hawking. But that’s what fans love about the stand-up comic: his unfiltered opinions on a wide range of topics, from sex with robots to male feminists to Michelle Obama’s book tour.
Shot at London’s famed Royal Albert Hall, the special finds Burr unleashing a barrage of non-PC, curse-laden punchlines that have the jam-packed room roaring with laughter for 90 minutes. Here are five of the F is For Family creator’s most outrageous jokes from Paper Tiger.
On Bryan Cranston’s controversial role in The Upside
“This is how screwed up my country is right now,” Burr says. “You know Bryan Cranston, right? That dude did a movie, he played a quadriplegic, and people gave him s—. Being like, ‘Why is there an able-bodied person playing a quadriplegic?’ It’s because it’s called acting, you dumb f—. See, if he was a quadriplegic playing a quadriplegic, that’s not acting. They’re just f—ing laying there saying s— that someone else wrote.”
Burr goes on to joke about remaking Top Gun with a transgender co-pilot: “She won’t die, her discarded dick will block her head from the canopy. There’ll be a gender-neutral bathroom on the plane. How f—ing dumb is that?”
On why he’s glad Stephen Hawking is dead
While discussing the possible dangers of artificial intelligence, Burr segues into a bit about the late theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking.
“Every smart person, every super-smart person in the world, is saying these f—ing things [robots] are going to kill us. Even your boy here, the guy who recently died. What was his name? He was always sitting down… Hawking, Stephen Hawking. Yeah, too good to f—ing stand up and make his point, just sitting down all f—ing smarmy.”
He adds, “I’m so glad that guy’s f—ing dead though, you know? Look at you guys, you’re heartless. How much longer do you want him to suffer? You don’t believe in an afterlife? Maybe he’s up there now and his f—ing legs work, and he’s getting an angelic bl— job.”
On male feminists
On the topic of male feminists, Burr makes it clear he does not consider himself one.
“It’s f—ing nuts!” he says. “People are so scared now, that you now have the male feminist. Like, where the f— did that come from? Just out of nowhere, last couple of years. ‘I’m a male feminist. I’ve always championed women.’ No you haven’t! Ya haven’t!”
Burr continues, “This s— came out and you’re f—ing scared. You did something. You grabbed some f—ing titties… What the f— did you do? That you have to overcorrect that f—ing hard. What kind of a man, who still has his balls, is walking around saying he’s a male feminist?”
On Michelle Obama’s book tour
At one point in the special, Burr takes aim at former First Lady Michelle Obama’s high-profile book tour for her best-selling memoir, Becoming.
“Michelle Obama is doing an arena tour,” he says. “She’s not playing comedy clubs, she’s doing arenas. When did First Ladies start acting like they got elected? To be the first lady, that’s not a f—ing job — just standing there smiling and waving.”
He adds, “If you really think that’s a job, just look at her. Look at Obama. When that guy got elected, he looked like he was about 41 years old. When he left office, that guy looked like he was about 73. Look at Michelle, she looks younger now than she did when that dude got elected. What has she done for the last eight years? Other than lay in a giant vat of illuminati-level lotion, just sitting there floating?”
On what it’ll be like to have a female president
Speaking of the POTUS and FLOTUS, Burr imagines what the First Family will be like when the gender roles are reversed.
“Someday, there’s going to be the first female president, which means there’s going to be the first male First Lady,” he says. “And you wait, you f—ing wait… The first time that dude opens his mouth about some political s—, you watch all these feminists: ‘You shut the f— up! It is her time now. She was elected, not you. Go pick out some plates, bitch.’ He’s going to get treated like Tom Arnold when he was with Roseanne.”
Paper Tiger is currently streaming on Netflix.