Kevin Bacon, Don Cheadle, Adam Scott, and Tig Notaro are the Indiana Joneses we deserve, but not the ones we will get when Disney and Lucasfilm continue the franchise on July 21, 2021. (Assuming they don’t change the date again, of course.) But Conan O’Brien gave us a taste of what we’re missing.
Thomas Middleditch (HBO’s Silicon Valley), Billy Eichner (The Lion King), Sam Richardson (HBO’s Veep), and Seth Green (Fox’s Family Guy) joined the previously mentioned talent in O’Brien’s sketch compilation of fake Indy auditions.
Middleditch’s Indy can’t twirl a lasso to save his lie, Eichner’s Indy doesn’t like “fast women” or women in general, Richardson’s Indy actually likes snakes, Scott’s Indy is a little bit too clinical about tomb raiding, and Notaro’s Indy has a master plan to get away from the giant boulder (moving out of the way).
Bacon, however, is too preoccupied with how many degrees of separation there are between him and the Indiana Jones character. “Let’s see, I was in Animal House with Karen Allen, who’s in Raiders of the Lost Ark… it’s two,” he said.