All the best quotes from Stranger Things season 3 that will make you laugh — and cry
Warning: This post contains spoilers for Stranger Things season 3.
Instead of wallowing in your regret for watching all of season 3 right away (you're not alone!), focus on all the positives instead. Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder) closed the gate, with an assist from Chief Hopper's (David Harbour) heroic sacrifice. Mike (Finn Wolfhard) and Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) traded sweet I love yous, even though they had to say goodbye as she moved away with Joyce, Will (Noah Schnapp), and Jonathan (Charlie Heaton), who was also forced to say a tearful goodbye to Nancy (Natalia Dyer). Even Steve (Joe Keery) and Robin (Maya Hawke) got new jobs after the Starcourt Mall was destroyed.
Plus, Stranger Things season 3 also gave fans so many incredible quotes that kept us entertained until the Duffer Brothers gave us another season to obsess over, which is the real treat here. When Harbour sat down with EW to talk about the third installment of episodes, he knew that fans were going to love all the phrases and lines peppered in throughout the episodes.
"The show has been kind of iconic for phrases like 'friends don't lie,' or 'coffee and contemplation,'" Harbour says. "There's a couple this season that are real zingers that I think are going to make T-shirts and everything."
Read on for a list of all the best quotes from Stranger Things season 3 that will make you laugh...and cry all the ugly tears (sorry not sorry, blame Hopper!).
Steve: It's this stupid hat. I am telling you, it's totally blowing my best feature.
Robin, to Steve: How many children are you friends with?
Steve, talking about Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo): He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like gumbo.
Robin: You mean Gumby.
Steve: I'm pretty sure it's gumbo.
Erica (Priah Ferguson): You can't spell America without Erica.
Dustin: Uh…y-yeah…oddly that's, uh, totally true.
Dustin, talking about his potentially made-up girlfriend (who turns out to be totally real): She's hotter than Phoebe Cates.
Hopper, talking about keeping the door open to Eleven as she makes out with Mike: I said three inches!
Hopper, to Joyce: I want you to feel safe.
Jonathan, to Nancy every time she ruined his photos by walking into the darkroom: Come ON!
Eleven: But, I closed the gate.
Jonathan: Yeah, the real world sucks, deal with it like the rest of us.
Dustin, to Steve: Touch my butt, I don't care!
Steve, to Dustin: Hope you guys are in shape. Lookin' at you, roast beef.
Steve, to the Russians torturing him: USS Butterscotch, I mean, you gotta try it! It is out of this WORLD, I'm telling ya!
Robin, after getting injected with a mystery drug by the Russians: Morons, they messed up the drug!
Steve: I'm drunk.
Dustin, after dealing with a drugged Steve and Robin: Okay, it's official. I'm never having kids.
Robin, drugged and trying to explain the plot of Back to the Future: So like, I wasn't totally focused in there or anything, but I'm pretty sure that mom was trying to bang her son.
Steve, also drugged: Wait, wait, the hot chick was Alex P. Keaton's mom?
Robin: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Steve: But they're the same age.
Robin: No, but he went back in time.
Steve: Then why is it called Back to the Future?!
Robin: He has to go back to the future because he's in the past, so the future is actually the present, which is his time.
And finally, for the monologue that will make you cry no matter how many times you hear (or read) it:
Hopper, to Eleven in a letter he wrote before his disappearance: I know this is a difficult conversation, but I care about you both very much and I know that you care about each other very much, and that's why it's important that we set these boundaries moving forward, so we can build an environment where we all feel comfortable, trusted, and open to sharing our feelings. The truth is, for so long, I'd forgotten what those even were. I've been stuck in one place, in a cave you might say — a deep dark cave. And then I left some Eggos out in the woods, and you came into my life. For the first time, in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I've been feeling...distant from you, like you're pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching westerns together before we doze off. But I know you're getting older, growing, changing, and, I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change. So, I think maybe that's why I came in here, to try to maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock, to make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naïve. It's just not how life works. It's moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes, it's painful. Sometimes, it's sad. And sometimes, it's surprising, happy. So you know what? Keep on growing up, kid. Don't let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from them, and when life hurts you — because it will — remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave. But please, if you don't mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.
Stranger Things season 3 is streaming in full on Netflix.
Netflix’s hit sci-fi series follows a group of kids in the '80s battling supernatural forces in Hawkins, Ind.