“Welcome to class, you f—ing idiots!”
In response to the controversial abortion bills popping up in the U.S., Full Frontal‘s Samantha Bee took a different tactic than her fellow personalities in the late-night talk show space. Instead of just mocking the “smug chodes” who backed these laws, Bee also offered some sex education for the male politicians out there looking to regulate women’s bodies.
“The one thing all these bills have in common is that the people writing them have no f—ing idea how the internal reproductive system works,” she said. “That’s why I’m gonna do something that should’ve been done decades ago.”
Georgia joined Ohio, Kentucky, and Mississippi when Gov. Brian Kemp signed a “heartbeat bill” that bans abortion in the state as early as six weeks into a pregnancy — essentially, as soon as a heartbeat is detected. Since then, Alabama’s governor signed a near-total ban on abortions with few exceptions, none of which specifically take rape or incest into consideration. As of Thursday, Missouri’s Senate passed a law banning abortions as of eight weeks into a pregnancy.
To all those lawmakers, Bee taught basic 101 lessons like “We don’t know we’re pregnant the moment it happens” and “What even is an abortion?”
She also gave specific insights into the female reproductive process for men like “shaved ferret” Ohio Republican Rep. John Becker, who sponsored a bill that bans health insurance from covering abortions but allows providers to cover re-implanting ectopic pregnancies, which “are almost never viable” and “very dangerous,” as Bee explains.
In regards to the Georgia abortion law, which could lead to investigations of women who suffer miscarriages over suspected abortions, the Full Frontal host explains why miscarriages are incredibly common and likens the “unnecessary investigation” to if “cops showed up every time you [men] Miracle Whip-ed into your wife’s good towels and accused you of genocide, except different because you never wanted to bring your shame tadpoles to term.”
In conclusion, as Bee notes, “Shout out to all the men who told women we were being melodramatic when we said we were scared after Trump was elected.”