By Nick Romano
January 09, 2019 at 09:02 AM EST
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In Stephen Colbert’s spoof sequel to Netflix’s Bird Box, the real unseen monster is President Trump’s Oval Office address.

Trump interrupted primetime television on Tuesday night to defend the government shutdown and claim his wall is a necessity against the “humanitarian crisis” along the U.S.-Mexico border. He practically wrote Colbert’s material for him.

“This speech will be so insane that if you watch it, you will want to hurt yourselves,” a woman in Colbert’s Bird Box spoof told Boy and Girl. So they put their blindfolds on. The problem, though, is that they could still hear the television.

Trump’s address lasted for approximately 10 minutes, “which according to Stormy Daniels is about eight minutes longer than he usually lasts,” Jimmy Kimmel joked during a monologue on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He added how rare it was for Trump to make an address; not only was it his first Oval Office address, but “rarely does a president interrupt primetime television to warn us of a made-up thing.”

“The big networks went back and forth on whether or not they would air it,” Kimmel added. “Why it needs to be on all the channels at once, I don’t know. It could rotate around. But much of the debate centered around whether or not it is appropriate to give the president a forum to lie to us on television.” So he offered up his own disclaimer to precede the address: “The following presidential address is a work of fiction. All personalities, incidents, events, locations, and facts were pulled directly from the president’s ass. Any resemblance to reality is entirely coincidental.”

James Corden believed TV stations “could’ve aired a re-run of American Ninja Warrior and it would’ve been more nuanced, patriotic, and reassuring than that.”

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