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September 21, 2018 at 08:54 AM EDT

Stephen Colbert admitted famous people such as himself are usually qualified to be giving advice on things like “how to wear a tie and occasionally talking to Nicki Minaj.” Still, the people apparently want “famous people” advice, so Colbert tapped a bunch of famous people to solve society’s problems.

Simon Pegg, David Duchovny, Henry Winkler, Jeff Daniels, Sharon Stone, Helen Hunt, and Wyatt Cenac headlined a new segment on The Late Show called “Dear Famous People,” where they gave all their bad advice to everyday people dealing with everyday problems.

Ed from Oregon was hoping to be a dad one day, but he found out his girlfriend didn’t want to have kids. What does he do? Duchovny doesn’t really know, but he equates having kids to having ferrets. Daniels answered by confirming “sandwiches are good,” which also doesn’t help. Winkler, meanwhile, thinks he should get a wolf.

“You always hear people go, ‘What, were you raised by a wolf?’ But you never hear, ‘What did you raise, a wolf?'” the first-time Emmy winner riffed. “Ed, it could be you.”

Brian from Wisconsin then proved why you shouldn’t ask Stone how to deal with neighbor disputes. She might end up suggesting you murder your neighbor with an ice pick. Bess from Minnesota then confirmed what we already know: Duchovny loves ferrets. Again, we’re not sure how that helps the situation.

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