“Guys, the Billy Joel news is very exciting. he had an interview where he revealed his idea for a farewell tour,” the comedian told the audience on the latest episode of her Netflix show The Break with Michelle Wolf.
Then Wolf read from an excerpt of the article: “The stage is a living room set… and there’s bulletproof glass between me and the audience. Then I come out and lay down on the couch. I grab the remote and start watching TV. The crowd after a couple minutes goes, ‘F— this,’ and starts throwing s— at the glass.”
“Guys let’s just give Billy Joel what he wants and put him in a zoo,” Wolf mused after reading the excerpt. “People can look at him watch TV and every once in a while he’ll eat oats from Elton John’s hand. B-B-B-Billy and the oats.”
Watch the NSFW clip here:
Next, the comedian turns her attention to Joel’s love life.
“Billy Joel was married to Christine Brinkley for a while. How unfair is that? She’s gorgeous and he’s some shapes,” she says.
But then she got the audience excited about a surprise appearance from the “Piano Man” singer himself.
“Well we have exciting news, we asked Billy Joel if we provided all the things he asked for — the living room, the glass box, all of it — we asked if he would come on the show he could live out his dream, right here on the show. And guys, this is really exciting, please welcome…. no, he declined,” she said. “Come on, you didn’t really believe Billy Joel was going to sit in a glass box on our stage after we made fun of the idea of being attracted to him, did you?”
Then things took another turn.
“Well you should have, because we have a surprise, put your hands together, the Piano Man himself, Billy…. he’s not here,” she continued, laughing. “Stop falling for it! stop falling for it. you’re going to give yourself a heartatack-ack-ack-ack-ack, you oughta know.”