One had a jolly good time!
There are plenty of reasons to tune in to Lifetime’s Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance on Sunday.
You could be hoping to learn more about the couple’s courtship (Botswana! Engagement chicken! Royal approval!). Or maybe you’re looking for tips on how to snag your own prince. Or maybe you are going to jealous-watch because, like, why would you even want to marry a prince anyway, right? Whatever your reasons, you no doubt will have some favorite moment — or, maybe like us, 16. No one blames you!
From Princess Diana reincarnated as a lion, to the Queen cracking jokes about The Crown, the TV movie — starring Murray Fraser as Prince Harry and Parisa Fitz-Henly as Suits actress Meghan Markle — is a joyful romp fit for a king (or, you know, the American actress wife of the sixth in line to the throne).
Here’s just a few of the standout moments that may just make you choke on your tea and crumpets:
1. When the Lifetime audiences meet Harry
Yes, there he is: Prince Henry of Wales, the apple of his mother’s eye, the grandson of the queen, sixth in line to British throne drowning adoring onlookers at the club in expensive champagne. Ah, royals: they’re just like us! In all fairness, the movie has to start with a lost, roguish Harry so we can watch him find his way and become the prince he was always destined to be when he meets Meghan. Just be grateful there’s no Nazi costume in sight.
2. When Harry meets Meghan
There’s no knowing for sure what went down when the betrothed beauties met in real life, but if there’s any truth in this fairy tale flick, I pray to God it’s the shame the Suits star lays on a very-late-to-arrive Prince Harry during their first date. He basically shows up to their blind date 40 minutes after he’s supposed to and tells his driver to do a lap of the block, then pop in and inform him there’s a royal emergency and he has to leave right away — that old classic! But when Meghan very sassily tells the prince not to compliment her until he apologizes for his tardiness — and then demonstrates how one reads a Rolex — Harry Boy is won over and sends his driver off into the night! Get it, girl.
3. When the couple does their homework
Cut to a few days after the first date (which by the way, according to this telling, lasted all night — they were only talking!), they both get down to
stalking business. While Harry starts binge watching Suits, Meghan gets stuck into the book adaptation of The Crown. How lucky that they could both access such easy crash courses! No stalking Facebook photos from years ago to see how attractive their exes were… ugh, we suppose that info had all been well documented by the press, though; not so lucky.
4. When they nearly get eaten by lions… Oh, yeah, and share their first kiss
Lions play a surprisingly large role in this TV movie. In an early scene, a preteen Harry visits Africa, with his father and Prince William right after the death of Princess Diana. Here’s the fun part: When a mourning Harry wanders off, he comes face to face with a lion which his father then tries to shoot believing his son to be in danger. Harry swoops in and stops him and we later learn it’s because he believed his mother was that lion or that lion was his mother? Either way, he feels like she’s watching over him and everything will be okay because of it. Years later, when Harry whisks Meghan off to Botswana for their second date(!), they share their first kiss under the African sunset and are later awoken by the sound of nearby lions. Meghan is frightened but Harry assures her they’re far away and not hungry but, ahem, ya know, looking to mate so she shouldn’t worry. Love is all around, indeed!
5. When “Wills” and Kate… well, honestly, just every scene the OG royal couple is in
Not going to lie, for the first few scenes of the movie ol’ Kate comes across a little catty. “She makes Wallace Simpson look like Dame Judi Dench,” commoner Kate tells Harry when he first mentions his interest in Meghan and then later, “If she’s your girl, she can’t have opinions.” As the movie progresses, she does warm up, though, and together with Will, they provide some pretty great comic relief — intentional or otherwise. “Binge-watched; I love that phrase,” says Old Man Will, confessing to getting to know Meghan’s onscreen counterpart watching multiple episodes of Suits. Later, Prince William, second in line to the British throne, drinks out of a Best Dad mug — come on, we know there’s nothing but the finest china in any royal household! Honestly, they steal most scenes they’re in.
6. When Prince Harry dresses up as a frog and dances
There’s really nothing else to say on the matter.
7. When Prince George tells Meghan she’s pretty
This one is purely because it evokes thoughts of Gary Janetti’s hilarious Instagram.
8. When they had a huge fight but work it all out
Are you even watching a fairy tale love story if the couple doesn’t overcome an obstacle that threatens their love? After the press hounds Meghan’s family and makes her feel unsafe, Prince Harry issues a statement expressing his disappointment in being unable to protect his girlfriend. How lovel— oh, sorry, no, how horrible! Meghan is not pleased. “My tower ain’t ivory, dude,” she yells at Harry, explaining that she doesn’t need some prince to protect her. She’s an independent woman and has gotten by just fine on her own up until now. (Pffft, Americans.) She may also yell, “I AM NOT A PRINCESS” and “fairy tales don’t exist” at some point, too, but we’re sure she doesn’t really mean it. Luckily, after she banishes Harry from her home, Meghan’s mother steps in and points out that no, Harry wasn’t trying to treat her like a damsel in distress; rather he was just genuinely trying to protect the woman he loves from the same monster that took his mother from him. Ah, there it is. So off Meghan flies to the airport to stop Harry’s private jet with some code words about the London Bridge. Thank goodness!!
9. When Meghan totally eclipses Pippa Middleton at her own wedding
Come on, it’s a total LOL. You can admit it, you never liked Kate’s younger sister anyway. Show up to your sister’s royal wedding and steal the show with your bottom, you better believe an American actress is going to turn up to your special day (uninvited) in a backless red dress.
10. When Camilla winks
Another dynamic duo, bringing charm to every situation they’re involved in during this movie is Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. They come out with classics like: “Talk to the first in line,”— Charles and “I love a dirty martini,” — Camilla, accompanied by the aforementioned wink. Just, wow.
11. When Meghan shows she’s going to be one heck of a progressive princess
Once she’s fully welcomed into the royal fold, there are some ground rules to establish, but Meghan doesn’t take restrictions on her life lying down. Having expressed to Harry that she wants them to be a progressive couple and equal partners, she even goes as far as to tell him she won’t give up her career to be a mother because she needs to be fulfilled in that way in order to be a good mom. She won’t be held back from her full potential not by a prince, not by anyone. Meghan has some classic lines during these scenes like, “Glass ceilings, not glass slippers,” but my personal favorite is when Harry tries to stick up for her lifestyle site The Tig and makes the bold claim, “That blog’s a part of her identity.” You’re laughing. We’re not laughing.
12. When Harry proposes
There’s no engagement chicken (that’ll come later), but there are some sweet sentiments and nudity, so we say yes!
13. When Meghan has an audience with Granny/the Queen!
Well, what did you expect? One does not simply marry into the royal family without the express consent of Her Majesty the Queen. There are Meghan-loving corgis and the wonderful moment when the Queen, realizing Meghan is an actress, asks if she has any part in The Crown. When Meghan responds that she does not, the Queen is relieved telling her, “I won’t have to throw you in the tower!” She just wishes they’d waited until she was no longer alive to air it, is all. God save the Queen, indeed! But really she should watch it; it’s great.
14. When the chicken was almost ready
…and Harry gets down on one knee with the ring and kept babbling on until Meghan told him to shut up so she could say yes. Crying? Who’s crying?!
15. When the Queen was like, Yo, I’m in charge here so…
“Everybody on board? Lovely!” If the Queen wants hugs from mix-raced grandchildren, you better believe she’s going to sign a royal decree to make sure she gets ’em! Yay for progressive attitudes in antiquated institutions!
16. When it ends on a collage of footage of the real Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and we all applauded the Lifetime casting director