His mustache can smell a war coming on

By Nick Romano
March 29, 2018 at 08:04 AM EDT
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Dana Carvey, iconic Saturday Night Live impressionist and the titular Master of Disguise, tackled someone Stephen Colbert called “more unstable than Donald Trump”: new national security advisor John Bolton.

“Come on, Stephen. I’m not the madman the media, my words, and my behavior make me out to be,” Carvey’s Bolton said on The Late Show Wednesday night. “I’m a very gentle and nurturing man. To prove it, I’m going to breastfeed a puppy.”

Colbert was concerned because the real Bolton once made a case for a pre-emptive attack on North Korea, and additional reports state he has a history of verbal abuse. An op-ed in the Spokesman-Review also pointed to a former government contractor who testified in 1994 that Bolton once “threw a tape dispenser at her, made offensive comments about her weight, shouted threats, chased her down a Moscow hotel hallway, pounded on her door, and ‘generally behave[d] like a madman.'”

“And that was before that was considered presidential,” Colbert joked. But Carvey’s Bolton didn’t quell his fears.

“It’s very important to me that nobody thinks President Trump is handing the keys to the war machine to some sort of hair-trigger lunatic,” the comedian said. “Because if I heard someone say that, I’d blow them up quick!”

Over the course of the interview Bolton’s prime advisor, his mustache, kept getting larger. “General Snowball here just gets a bit engorged when he smells a war coming on,” Carvey’s Bolton joked. “You want action. Don’t you, boy? Easy, fellow. Here, have some shampoo.”

Watch Carvey in the clip above.

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