WARNING! Bachelor finale spoilers ahead!

Seriously, stop reading if you don’t want to find out what happened Monday night.

But — speaking out in the upcoming issue of PeopleBecca says she doesn’t hold Arie’s decision against him.

“He’s a good person, I don’t think he’s a monster and purposely did this to hurt me and make me feel this way. But it’s just the result of his actions,” says the 27-year-old. “At the end of the day, I don’t think he thought through everything of how ending things with Lauren would be, how being engaged to me would be and what breaking up with me and going back to her would be. I don’t think he thought it through, but I don’t think he did it maliciously to break my heart.”

Becca says she was “very oddly calm” the morning of the engagement in Peru.

Becca and Arie on The Bachelor.
| Credit: Paul Hebert/ABC

“I just felt it in my heart. I just knew it was me — that him and I were going to be together,” she adds. “There were still nerves, but I never was too anxious or worked up about it because I just felt it was right with us.”

So Becca was crushed when, after filming ended and the couple returned home to the U.S. and began a life of dating in secret while the show aired, Arie, 36, chose to leave her for Lauren, 26.

Arie and Lauren on The Bachelor.
| Credit: Paul Hebert/ABC

“I never thought for a million years that once the going started to get tough that he would throw in the towel and jump ship and say, ‘Oh sorry, I changed my mind.’ I didn’t think we were at that point whatsoever,” says Becca.

“I wish he would have been more honest with me. From the questions I was asking, I would have appreciated the full truth. I was obviously blindsided like, Did I miss something? I was asking you these things and you didn’t tell me. What did I miss? How could I have not seen any of this to the extent of how it played out?” she shares. “At one point I asked him if he wanted to make it work with Lauren and his response was, ‘Yeah I want to try.’ So in that instance I knew.”

For more from Becca, pick up the upcoming issue of People — on newsstands Friday. And see how things work out for Arie and Lauren on After the Finale Rose at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

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