Jimmy Kimmel wasted no time addressing the elephant in the room when he took the stage to open Sunday’s Oscars ceremony.
The host kicked off his Oscars monologue by telling nominees that when they hear their name called this year, “Don’t get up right away.” The joke, of course, is referring to last year’s Best Picture envelope mistake when La La Land was announced as the winner before producers rushed on stage to make a correction: Moonlight had actually won. After joking that the accountants wanted to do a bit of comedy on their own, Kimmel promised, “It won’t happen again.”
Kimmel’s monologue then transitioned to address the fact that this year marks the 90th Academy Awards. Walking over to the large Oscar statue on stage, he explained why Oscar is the most beloved and respected man in Hollywood: “Keeps his hands where you can see them, never says a rude word, and most importantly, no penis at all. He is literally a statue of limitations.”
Addressing the Time’s Up movement happening in Hollywood, Kimmel went on to say, “We can’t let bad behavior slide anymore,” before explaining why the night would be one of positivity, using the success of Wonder Woman and Black Panther as examples of changing times. He gave a special shout-out to Greta Gerwig, the first woman nominated for Best Director in eight years, before addressing the equal pay debacle that came with the All the Money in the World reshoots. (Michelle Williams was paid $80 a day for the reshoots whereas Mark Wahlberg received $1.5 million. Wahlberg has since donated all $1.5 million to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund.) Kimmel’s kicker? Both Wahlberg and Williams are represented by the same agency. As he joked, “If we can’t trust agents… who can we trust?”
Moving to Jordan Peele, who’s only the third person in 90 years nominated for directing, writing and picture for his debut film, Kimmel joked that President Trump saw Get Out and called it the “best first three-quarters of a movie this year.”
After addressing a few more nominees — and asking 88-year-old Christopher Plummer, “How does Lin Manuel-Miranda compare to the real Alexander Hamilton?” — Kimmel ended his monologue by offering a jet ski, as presented by Helen Mirren, to the nominee who gives the shortest acceptance speech of the night. Because everyone needs a little incentive.
To donate to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund, which will provide subsidized legal support to women and men in all industries who have experienced sexual harassment, assault, or abuse in the workplace, visit its GoFundMe page. Learn more about Time’s Up, an organization of women in entertainment combating sexual harassment and inequality, on its website.