'The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale' launches Feb. 18 on Netflix
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If your Soup bowl has been empty for too long, here’s some comforting news to slurp up: Joel McHale — that tart-tongued comedian, actor, and former flamethrower on The Soup — is hosting a weekly Netflix talk/clip show that offers scorching takes on everything from current events and pop culture, which, sure, includes the horrific reality shows worthy of ridicule. Debuting Feb. 18, The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale also offers up sketches and celebrity guests (Kevin Hart! Paul Reiser!). Shall we bounce some Stupid Questions off this smart-ass?

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Your new show is titled The Joel McHale Show With Joel McHale. Did calling it Joel McHale Presents the Joel McHale Show With Joel McHale just seem a little too vain?
JOEL MCHALE: There’s almost nothing that I do that is too vain. I, uh… hold on one second. I’ve gotten distracted by my own reflection while answering this question. Sorry about that. Can you repeat the question?

All good. How will you differentiate your show from My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman? Will your guests need an introduction?
Well, we’re still not going to introduce them, and that’s more so out of lazy writing. So we’ll be like, “Ladies and gentleman, Kelly Ripa!” and then, I don’t know, Freddie Prinze Jr. will come out, and it’ll be like, “Ahhh, whatever. Screwed it up again.” There will be beards, but I will not look as much like one of the members of ZZ Top as David Letterman. Oh, and our first guest — I’ll declare it here — will be… Barack Obama Jr.

You’re another white male who has been given a talk show. Defend yourself.
Look, I’m in total agreement that they should have never given me the job. But if it’s any consolation, I’m half Norwegian and half Irish.

What did you take away from your short-lived sitcom The Great Indoors experience that you can use here?
There’s going to be as much hiking equipment just scattered around the set. And I’m hoping I can pay Chris Mintz-Plasse to show up every once in a while and stare into my eyes longingly like a puppy.

How would you sum up your “hosting strategy” in five words or less?
Don’t f— it up. Or: Don’t f— it up, dummy. That’s five.

Check out the Community-heavy trailer for The Joel McHale Show (Watch out for the NSFW language at the end!)

Exactly what are you the host with the most of?
I will not dignify that with a response. Now I know why magazines are dying — questions like that.

Everyone will ask you about the guests you’d love to have, so let’s talk about the ones you don’t want. Whom would you like to ban?
Kim Jong-un. Assad, the leader of Syria. And the girl from Small Wonder. Those three will never come on the show, no matter how much they beg. Who else? The cast of Bad Moms cannot come on if they are in character. They can come on out of character. But those moms, they’re bad! Would you want Bad Moms coming on your show? “No,” he answered himself!

What three tips will you hand to guests before coming on your show?
Tip 1: About $100. Tip 2: Definitely some sort of spear. Tip 3: If it’s Seacrest, frosted.

What are the chances of a Mankini sighting on your new show, or is that the “intellectual property” of The Soup?
I am assuming that’s “intellectual property,” so you might see someone look similar, but they’ll be wearing a tube top. Or just the bikini bottom.

If your questions were scented, what would they smell like?
Victory. And light napalm. And everyone knows napalm smells like toasted almonds. Oh, wait — I might be having a stroke.

Which of your old jobs least prepared you for this one?
Pearl diver.

You play Chevy Chase in the new Netflix movie A Futile and Stupid Gesture. What was the most challenging part of that, besides breaking the news to Chevy that he wouldn’t be playing himself?
Everything you just said sounds like a trap.

We’re tired of asking about a Community reunion movie, and you’re tired of being asked. Maybe you could just tell us what would have happened in it?
It would be a lot like Dunkirk — but without the cool uniforms.

What’s one thing you’ve always wondered about yourself but were too scared to ask?
If I drink another bottle of wine, will it help all my relationships?

I’d like to quote you out of context. Go.
I didn’t know a pitchfork could do that.