Stephen Colbert to New York bomber: You can't make the commute any worse
Stephen Colbert addressed the “scary” situation in New York on Monday when a man set off a makeshift bomb at the Port Authority bus terminal. After the attacker was arrested, the host of The Late Show chuckled at the absurdity of the guy’s plan.
“Seriously?! You try to terrorize New York subway commuters? Nice try! Nice try,” he said during his opening monologue. “New York commuters don’t even flinch when the subway breakdancers kick two inches away from their face. They have to battle rats for the seat, which for the record you should only give up if the rat is pregnant.”
“You try to sow chaos and confusion in the Port Authority bus station?” he added. “That is the normal state of affairs at the Port Authority bus station. There’s a pretty good chance your little explosion may have scoured some of the grime off the wall. Thanks! Now you’re going to jail for a long, long, long time and all New Yorkers want to know is, does that mean your apartment is free and is it rent controlled?”
The man, a 27-year-old inspired by ISIS, prematurely detonated the device, causing injury to himself and three others. Though, there were no fatalities.
“You tried to terrorize New York and it failed,” Colbert said. “The worst you did is make the subways run late and the MTA does that just fine without your help.”
Watch Colbert in the clip above.