One Tree Hill actress Jana Kramer reveals she suffered a miscarriage: 'I just don’t want to feel alone'
"I'm knee deep in crying"
Jana Kramer has suffered a miscarriage.
The 34-year-old country singer and actress — who is already a mom to 22-month-old daughter Jolie Rae — revealed the heartbreaking news on Instagram, Saturday, sharing a tearful picture of herself holding an ultrasound photo.
“1-3,” Kramer wrote. “Today I am 1-3.”
Her decision to go public with her loss was something Kramer explained in the caption she “debated.” Kramer said she ultimately wanted to share her story, though, as to not contribute to what she called the “silent struggle.”
“I don’t want I’m sorry or sympathy. I just don’t want to feel alone. And I know I’m not,” she wrote. “This unfortunately isn’t my first loss. When I first found out I was pregnant I wanted to shout it from the rooftop but I know for reasons like this we have to wait. So because we don’t tell many, we have to suffer silently…and suffering silently was my thing in the past, but it’s not now”.
By sharing the news, Kramer said she hoped it would help other women who have gone through a miscarriage.
“For the women out there who have miscarried in the past and need support and a place to grieve their little one lost or to those in the thick of it like me who are currently grieving and in pain, let us all be there for each other,” she said. “You don’t need to feel alone and maybe that’s me talking to myself but if you need a place to share, I’m here for you…and all of us are (and guys too — we sometimes silence your voice because you feel bad to express how it’s made u feel so let this be a safe place for you too).”
Kramer then shared a post from her friend Kristen Brust’s blog, A Little Bit Fancy, about losing a child — explaining to her followers that they could read the piece for help.
“Her words and her story on her loss, it’s powerful and strong and those who have suffered a loss I truly feel you can heal reading her blog,” Kramer wrote, adding that she was “knee deep in crying and trying to listen to God.”
“I know for me it helped,” Kramer continued. “I love you guys. #yourenotalone.”
It’s been a tough few years for Kramer, who separated from her husband Mike Caussin in May 2016.
Yet, the couple — who tied the knot in May 2015 — are still married, living together, and have been “actively working” through their issues since Caussin left a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction treatment.
“I’m just focusing on our family and trying to figure it out,” the One Tree Hill alum explained during a September appearance on Bachelor alum Olivia Caridi’s podcast, Mouthing Off. “It’s day-by-day. We’re not divorced, he’s not my estranged husband [and] he’s very much in my life. Legally, he is my husband. I have a ring on my finger. It’s hard, every day — some days I’m like, ‘I can’t do this.’ … But other days I’m like, ‘No, fight for it. It’s for our family.’ Cause I’ve given up so easily in the past before, so I really want to sit in the trenches and fight for it.”
Working through the issues in their marriage hasn’t been without its difficulties, though.
“Trust is a hard thing when it’s broke to get back,” Kramer admitted. “We’re in so much therapy it’s not even funny. But it’s good, though. I’ve learned so much about myself in the process. And again, either way we’ll come out healthier because of it.”
“The only reason that I stayed is because I’ve seen how hard he’s worked to become the better version of himself and to be a better man and be very present,” she said. “Again, we all have our moments where we question that and have hard times. But he’s working extremely hard and he’s so good with Jolie. Like, he’s an incredible dad. I see that and I recognize that.”
This article originally appeared on People.com