If you thought all the woes were over now that Jamie (Sam Heughan) and Claire (Caitriona Balfe) are back in the same century again, Sunday’s episode “Crème De Menthe” was here to prove you oh, so wrong.
The seventh episode of the Starz series’ third season was jam-packed with moments where we didn’t think things could get worse — and then they did. There was (accidental) murder, lies, teenage sex, and a raging fire. Those century-crossed lovers just can’t catch a break: While Claire had to deal with being attacked by a would-be rapist YET AGAIN, Jamie’s business burned to the ground around him — literally. Plus, that suggestion that Jamie had married someone else while Claire was gone resurfaced. All in all, it was far from the chill episode we hoped for where Claire and Jamie just would canoodle in bed for the full running time and tell each other how great they are.
Here are 19 of the moments that made us say “Oh, sh—!” in GIF form, of course.
1. When the episode had just started and Claire was already fighting for her life.
2. But then felt bad when her assailant fell and hit his head on the hearth.
3. When Madame Jeanne realized there was “quite a problem” since the casks Claire’s attacker was looking for are hidden in her basement.
4. When Jamie said the word “romp” but really rolled his “R” so it sounded more like “rrrrrrrrromp.”
5. When Margaret Campbell asked Claire if she heard the tree toad’s lullaby.
6. When Jamie lied to Ian’s face about having seen his son.
7. When Ian asked Jamie if he’d told Claire his news and the non-book readers among us wanted to know what that news was!
8. When Fergus described how he lost his virginity at age 15 in a ménage à trois. Vive la France!
9. When it seemed like young Ian would never stop singing.
10. When Sir Percival’s lackey pushed young Ian and Jamie’s secret paneling opened to reveal…
11. …the seditious pamphlets he’d been printing.
12. When a fire broke out in the print shop (LITERALLY A STORE JUST FULL OF FLAMMABLE PAPER!!) and started spreading like, well, wild fire.
13. When young Ian was trapped in the burning down print shop.
14. And Jamie charged in to save him.
15. And emerged a few moments later with Ian on his back as his store crumbled in flames around him.
16. When Jamie realized he could be arrested for high treason, which is punishable as a capital crime.
17. When Fergus uttered this line to Jamie: “My lady does not yet know about your other wife.”
18. When Jamie watched as his business burned to nothing.
19. And A. Malcolm’s print shop was no more.
Outlander airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Starz.