By Christopher Rosen
September 10, 2017 at 11:55 AM EDT

Hillary Clinton described what it was like to lose last year’s presidential election to Donald Trump in her first televised interview since the defeat.

“I think I am good, but that doesn’t mean that I am complacent or resolved about what happened,” Clinton said during an interview with Jane Pauley on CBS Sunday Morning. “It still is very painful. It hurts a lot.”

Clinton said she had no clue that Trump would win on Election Day last year, but began to accept the realization as the night moved forward. “I just kinda went in the bedroom, laid down on the bed, just thought, ‘Okay. I just have to wait this out,'” Clinton said. “But then, midnight, I decided, ‘Well, you know, looks like it’s not gonna work.'”

The former Secretary of State and the first woman to win the nomination of either major political party said she felt like losing “let everybody down.”

“I just felt this enormous letdown — just kind of loss of feeling and direction and sadness,” Clinton added of the immediate aftermath of the election loss. “And, you know, Bill [Clinton, her husband] just kept saying, ‘Oh, you know, that was a terrific [concession] speech,’ trying to just kinda bolster me a little bit. Off I went, into a frenzy of closet cleaning, and long walks in the woods, playing with my dogs, and, as I write — yoga, alternate nostril breathing, which I highly recommend, trying to calm myself down. And, you know, my share of Chardonnay. It was a very hard transition. I really struggled. I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t think. I was just gob-smacked, wiped out.”

Clinton details her feelings on the election in her new memoir, What Happened?, which is out Sept. 12.