Because words don’t do this team-up justice

By Faith D'Isa
August 18, 2017 at 05:57 PM EDT
type
  • TV Show
Network
Genre

They’re not your typical superhero team, but they’re all New York City’s got. Marvel’s Netflix team-up nearly four years in the making, The Defenders, is here, dropped all at once, in typical Netflix fashion, at 3 a.m. ET on Friday.

There’s ample of debate on how to consume streaming television: Do you pace it out, go all-in at once, or something in between? For me, it’s an easy choice. There’s nothing scarier than spoilers, especially Marvel spoilers. So I’ve gotten into the tradition of settling in at 2:55 a.m. to binge and live-tweet the Marvel Netflix shows in one sitting (against the advice of many).

Needless to say, I had a lot of feelings about everything that went down with Marvel’s latest motley crew of antiheroes over the eight episodes… and now I’m going to relive them all with a little help from GIPHY. It goes without saying, but, WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Foggy as Luke’s lawyer! And seeing Claire back with Luke and finally getting that “coffee” was really nice. Claire deserves everything good in this world.

Oh! Sigourney Weaver, living legend, is here. And she’s gonna be an awesome villain.

And–SHE’S DYING?

I wonder how the EW offices are doing during this earthquake. I’d like no part of this, thanks.

Luke’s off being heroic, but Jessica’s being suspicious. So I’m suspicious. But I honestly have no clue what’s coming next.

(But also, when are the super friends gonna meet up? I’ve waited through FOUR SOLO SERIES. I deserve this.)

Oh. Bombs. Bombs are coming next. That’s. Very bad. And Jessica finally did a good thing! She called the police! But now… oh no. She’s gonna get caught. And there it is.

Wait a second. Danny’s in that Dojo. Luke’s coming after this kid. ALLEYWAY FIGHT. JESSICA’S ARRESTED. MATT’S A LAWYER. IT’S A CROSSOVER SERIES.

NEXT: How Luke — and the rest of us — are dealing with Danny…

Luke being so done with Danny’s nonsense is honestly all of us.

It’s okay. I’m sure Matt and Jessica are doing MUCH WORSE.

Okay. Here it comes, the inevitable, amazing hallway fight scene, now complete with FOUR DIFFERENT FIGHTING STYLES.

Ugh, then there we go again with Matt needing to save Elektra. Don’t you know The Walking Dead, Matt? Zombies can’t be redeemed.

Well, at least he’s rocking Jessica’s scarf like it’s next season’s big thing.

Honestly, Danny is flourishing as a part of a possible team. It’s some pretty great character growth and I’m here for it.

Also, him just chilling eating all this Chinese food is a big mood.

JESSICA, STOP! I JUST GOT YOU ALL TOGETHER!

I REALLY love Alexandra. A group of super-people are actively trying to kill her, and she’s just so chill. Takes no nonsense. Wants the Iron Fist. Straightforward.

Aaaand Jessica Jones for MVP of episode 4, thank you and GOOD NIGHT.

NEXT: What’s with the hostage?

Now the squad’s got a hostage, which is great, but his weird Jedi mind tricks are CREEPING ME OUT.

Hold up. Bakuto’s back? The other side’s now got two — count ‘em, two! — zombies. And we’ve got Stick.

Okay, this gathering of all the side characters in one space has me ITCHING for a Colleen Wing/Misty Knight Daughters of the Dragon spin-off.

Also, Luke and Danny geeking out over Daredevil being so cool is the most relatable thing.

Danny’s just proving my point — he works best on a team. But he’s a kid, so LISTEN TO THE ADULTS, DANNY.

The gang’s all split up, and while I’m excited to see Jessica and Matt work together, I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that bad things happen when the gang splits up.

NOW STICK’S GONNA KILL DANNY. THIS IS GREAT. I HATE BEING RIGHT.

Or Elektra can kill Stick. That can also happen. I wasn’t expecting that.

I didn’t come here for Matt and Jessica emotions, and I DEFINITELY didn’t come here for Alexandra and Elektra emotions. But here I am.

And THERE GO THE ALEXANDRA AND ELEKTRA EMOTIONS. BIG BAD SWITCH-UP? Elektra’s on a roll.

This is the point in the show where I stopped having words.

NEXT: I need to tell you something, Misty

Hey, Misty. You’re great. But can we PLEASE think about the bigger picture here?

I hate goodbyes. They make me nervous. I know everyone here’s getting another season of their shows, but I’M STILL NERVOUS.

Now MADAME GAO CAN USE THE FORCE? The Hand are Sith! You heard it here first, folks.

Oh, Luke Cage is a Targaryen, too. Father of Dragons, the Unburnt, rightful King of the Five Boroughs.

Speaking of Dragons… So that’s how the Hand has eternal life. Dragon bone. Someone tell Voldemort unicorn blood is so last decade.

Wait. Everyone’s bonding. This REALLY means something terrible’s gonna happen to someone. Bracing myself.

I need Claire and Colleen to wreck Bakuto like, yesterday. They’re too good for his mind games. WRECK him, ladies.

MISTY’S GETTING HER METAL ARM FROM THE COMICS, I WOULD BE SAD BUT I’M TOO EXCITED.

I TAKE IT BACK. I’M SAD. THIS IS GOING DOWNHILL SO QUICKLY.

And now Matt’s whispering things to Danny like he’s got some secret that can’t wait until they’re above ground?!

They’re gonna go back down and get Matt, right? Right? RIGHT?

I’m not crying, you’re crying. (Yeah, I’m crying. What’s it to you?)

I want to focus on all this wonderful wrap-up and Jessica and Luke’s character development, but all I can think about is Matt passing his city onto the rest of them, and then I just.

WAIT. Okay. WHAT? I’m struck between relief, and—

IT’S OVER?

Hey, uh, Netflix. Help a girl out?

Episode Recaps

type
  • TV Show
seasons
  • 1
Genre
Premiere
  • 08/18/17
Performers
Network
Complete Coverage
Advertisement

Comments

EDIT POST