Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ testimony in front of a Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday took center stage for all five network late-night hosts, with Jimmy Kimmel, James Corden, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, and Stephen Colbert taking shots at Sessions for his appearance and obfuscation in front of lawmakers.
“We learned about all the things he can’t recall and there were many,” Kimmel said on Jimmy Kimmel Live, before joking Sessions had a “tell” that showed when he was not telling the truth: growing ears, similar to how Pinocchio’s nose grows when he lies. Kimmel also recut Sessions testimony with footage from a Looney Tunes cartoon.
Sessions’ appearance was also the focus of Corden’s mockery on The Late Late Show. The host joked he had a tough time keeping it straight who was testifying in the Russia investigation, before offering to show viewers a photo of Sessions to clear things up. “That’s a picture of the Boss Baby,” Corden said after a photo of the Alec Baldwin animated comedy appeared in place of Sessions. The next photo? “No, that’s at the Keebler Elf,” Corden said. After a picture of the actual Sessions was dismissed too, Corden finally settled on a visual interpretation of the former senator: an uncooked potato.
On The Tonight Show, Fallon focused on Sessions’ frequent refusal to answer questions. “For those of you who don’t know, ‘doesn’t recall’ is a Washington term meaning, ‘I definitely recall and I’m in trouble,'” Fallon joked.
Meyers, too, dinged Sessions for his answers, including one where Sessions blamed Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) for a “rambling question” during his confirmation hearing about Sessions’ contact with Russia. (In response to Franken’s question, Sessions said he didn’t have contact with Russia; later, it was shown he did.)
“If Sessions thought Franken’s question was rambling, then he must just black out when he talks to Trump,” Meyers joked about the president.
Late Show host Colbert devoted a giant chunk of his monologue to Sessions, joking that he was “the last surviving Little Rascal” and later taking a shot at Sessions diminutive stature.
“As soon as Sessions sat down, everyone had the same question: Are you now or have you ever hidden any pots of gold?” Colbert joked. “He’s small.”
Of Sessions’ failure to recollect information during the testimony, Colbert added, “Sessions really seems to know nothing. It explains why he was the first senator to endorse Trump.”
Watch the hosts’ best zings above.